Being directionless

[Jaden]

No job. No girl. No purpose. It's really getting to me how purposeless my life feels right now. I feel sorrowful and heartbroken at pretty much all hours of the day. I guess this is basically just an extension on the "myself" thread...

It's just hard to even get out of bed some mornings, even with the meds. I know you all can't turn my life around. I probably shouldn't burden you with this. I just needed to say something somewhere to someone....

[SkullKing]

I probably shouldn't burden you with this. I just needed to say something somewhere to someone....

You are not burdening us.

Sometimes you need to vent, and this forums is exactly for that.

I think I know how you feel. feeling without purpose can be really bad.

I had a few hard years until I found long term goals.

Do you make any physical exercise?

[Jaden]

I tried to keep a regular routine of going for a walk for 30 - 45 minutes a day for a while, but eventually I couldn't even get motivated to do that anymore.

[Rapscallion]

You don't need to tie up your self worth in whether or not you have a girl - that isn't really something to worry about. As for jobs - trust me, most people are lucky in that regard. I fell into my current job by knowing the right person.

Rapscallion

[Nekojin]

As for jobs - trust me, most people are lucky in that regard. I fell into my current job by knowing the right person.

Far, far too many discount luck when considering how they got to where they are, professionally, socially, and so on. Knowing the right people, being in the right place at the right time, even being born to the right parents - luck permeates every aspect of our existence.

[crashhelmet]

Sometimes life lays a path ahead of you for you to follow. Other times, you need to go out and make your own path. If you feel like you have no direction, it's time to pick one.

I'd recommend taking advantage of the time to figure out what you truly want, explore options and figure out what you'd have to do to get what you want, and then start yourself on that path.

We'll all be here to support you as you go though this journey.

[Nekojin]

Most advice that can be given to someone who is depressed is useless, because the depressed person probably already knows it, but can't work up the drive to do any of the things that can help.

That said, Jaden: Nobody else can break your depression but you. Go out and do a social hobby that you normally enjoy. Lose yourself in it for a little while, and enjoy yourself. Once you get out of the depression, staying out of it is a lot easier.

[Rapscallion]

By the way, contactable by email and completely free is www.samaritans.org - you don't have to be suicidal. Lonely is sufficient. Just talk to them - they're good people.

Rapscallion

[HYHYBT]

As for jobs - trust me, most people are lucky in that regard. I fell into my current job by knowing the right person.

Live by luck, die by luck... I got an interview that way for a job I'd probably even have enjoyed; one which I'd never have known to apply for any other way. A simple miscommunication I don't remember the details of later, and I thought I hadn't gotten the job, while *they* thought I hadn't bothered to show up for it. It wasn't until about two years later I found out.

[SkullKing]

I tried to keep a regular routine of going for a walk for 30 - 45 minutes a day for a while, but eventually I couldn't even get motivated to do that anymore.

Everyone is diferent and maybethis is not for you.

But how about trying to increase your workout?

That way you have real short term objectives that you look forward too.

And you can feel yourself improving.

simple things, like trying to do one more push-up everymonth, have done wonders for me.

When you keep doing the same thing, it is easy to feel that you are not getting anywhere, while if you steadly increases it, you can see your progress.

One other thing is that after a while your body starts to want the exercise, which frankly helps a lot with motivation.

As I said before, It is not for everyone, but it helped me a lot. There are plenty of forums, and resources that can help you to get started with exercises you can do without needing to pay anything.

http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/stre...-henry-rollins

And definitely do not tie your self worth with having a girl or not.

Plenty of despicable people have girls.

[Jaden]

Thank you all for your support =)

My only real social hobby is drinking with my friends...not the healthiest hobby, I guess, but I guess it's something.

I know I should try exercising more...hopefully I'll be able to get myself motivated again sometime.

As for girls...well, my identity has always felt really tied into my relationships with girls, it's true. I think it's largely due to my first relationship...when that came crashing down, I felt like I lost half of myself and never got it back. But that's a really long story...

[Nekojin]

My only real social hobby is drinking with my friends...not the healthiest hobby, I guess, but I guess it's something.

Some possibilities, time and finances permitting (and if you have funds for social drinking, you can easily divert some funds to these):
Roleplaying gaming* (I currently run a Shadowrun campaign on alternate weekends!)
Board gaming*
Paintball
Team sports (I suppose that Paintball could be lumped in here, but I think of it separate from ball-centric sports)**
Volunteering for some worthy cause (Libraries frequently need volunteers, for example)

* For these, I do mean playing games in person, not on a computer. While online gaming can be very social, it's not the same thing, and generally not as good for dealing with feelings of isolation.

** I once got involved in an informal softball league - just people, getting together once a week, and playing softball, with semi-random teams from the 20 or so people who showed up.

[SkullKing]

I would also like to add that you could ask your drinking buddies if one of them wants to start an exercise regimen together.

Some people do better in exercises when it is a social thing

[protege]

Far, far too many discount luck when considering how they got to where they are, professionally, socially, and so on. Knowing the right people, being in the right place at the right time, even being born to the right parents - luck permeates every aspect of our existence.

Maybe, maybe not. Those things can only carry you so far. I know of many people who have been given an awesome set of cards...only to totally fuck things up. Others...have everything totally against them, yet still do OK. I'm one of the latter group. I grew up poor, had to deal with mental issues, worked hard, and came out on top. I'm not a CEO or millionaire, but I feel I did OK. I put myself through school, paid off the car(s), school loans, etc. Of course, I had some help along the way--one of my neighbors knew my current boss, but otherwise, I had to work my ass off to prove myself.

As to feeling isolated, I know what that's like too. I took a *lot* of shit through people in school...and that's probably why I don't trust most people. Nor do I necessarily want to be *around* most people. I tend to keep to myself in other words.

In the past couple of years, I've tried to change that. I joined a railroad historical society, a couple of MG clubs, simply so I could hang out with people that have similar interests. Sure, the 'net mailing lists are OK, but they don't help with the feeling of isolation.