Bitchy coupled up women

[Lace Neil Singer]

Just so that I don't derail the "Angry single women" thread. XD

This is something that I noticed back when I was single and I've had single friends tell me that they've seen it too. Easiest to put it in a scenario, so here it is:

Single woman walks into a party. Coupled up woman gives her a dirty look, then puts an arm protectively round her man. Single woman is then fed up, cuz of the implication that she's a rabid man predator out to steal the coupled up woman's boyf/husband.

Or, coupled up woman is planning a dinner party, tells her boyf/husband that they can't invite Single woman, cuz she's on her own. Again there is that implication.

Why do these women think that just cuz a woman's single, that she's completely desperate for male company and will automatically make a pass at an attached man? I experienced the first scenario quite a few times back when I was single.

I also had a male friend's girlf get jealous, even tho both he and I had explained to her that we were just friends and there was nothing between us. I hadn't done anything to make her feel jealous, but I was damned if I was going to ditch a good friend just cuz his girlf had a mental problem.

[tropicsgoddess]

Those kinda women have major insecurity issues, IMO.

[Greenday]

My friend stop talking to me for a while because her boyfriend was scared that I was trying to steal her from him. Yea, he was a douchebag and she deserved much better but at no time did I ever attempt to steal her from him. He didn't even know me or attempt to get to know me. Wouldn't even say hi to me when we first met.

Thank God she ended up breaking up with him.

[Andara Bledin]

People who think that every non-coupled person out there is after their SO are the type of people who would be after other people's SOs when they're not-coupled.

If I were the SO of one of these people, I'd be damn offended that they thought I was so fickle as to wander off at the first sign of a new interest.

^-.-^

[guywithashovel]

An important thing to remember is, a person cannot "steal" your SO without your SO's permission. It's not like stealing someone's lawn mower or computer.

My mom and dad use a lot of "backyard" handymen and mechanics for house and auto repiars---i.e., guys who don't do that stuff professionally, but on the side. Mom says that when she calls one of them for a job she needs done, their wife often answer the phone and act all suspicious that another woman is calling for her man, even though she starts the call with "I need him to do X job for me."

Also, in fairness, it needs to be said that there are guys like this, too----guys who get all protective any time their girlfriend or wife is anywhere near another man.

[Rapscallion]

An important thing to remember is, a person cannot "steal" your SO without your SO's permission. It's not like stealing someone's lawn mower or computer.

Had a situation like that at work. Two colleagues were getting it on quite blatantly. Wifey of the chap found out and, while he was in the doghouse for a while, the main fury was reserved for the 'interloper'. As several of us said at the time, she didn't exactly rape him.

Rapscallion

[bara]

Slightly on topic-

Gal at work is seeing this guy that was trying to get her to leave her husband while they were trying to work shit out.

My problem, he knew they were trying to work it out and was still pursuing her. True, she didnt have to answer her phone. But my problem is if he would try to break up another relationship, he probably wouldnt put much stock in his own.

[Amanita]

Yeah, I never got why women who have been cheated on reserve most of their anger for the other woman. What about their man? Perhaps he didn't even tell the "other" that his wife/GF/whoever even existed. So perhaps she was just as deceived as the GF was. And it takes two to tango, after all. So why ignore the man's misdeeds and get all butthurt at the other woman? And if the guy really is weak-willed enough to go after the other woman at the first sign of interest, is he really worth being possessive over?

[DrFaroohk]

I've been the cheatee a few times in my life and I always say the same thing: Piss off. I didn't rape anyone or force anyone to make any decisions. I'm a single man who can see whomever I wish.

On the other hand, a man who's just met a woman he wants to fuck has a lot more energy to spend wooing her than the man who's been with her for 5, 10, 20 years. But again...if I were to fail as a husband, its not the interloper's fault. It's my fault. And my wife's. Him? I might kill him just out of frustration, but I wouldn't actually be like "YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!!"

[DGoddess]

Had a situation like that at work. Two colleagues were getting it on quite blatantly. Wifey of the chap found out and, while he was in the doghouse for a while, the main fury was reserved for the 'interloper'. As several of us said at the time, she didn't exactly rape him.

Rapscallion

And that's the logic I don't quite get. It takes TWO to have an affair last time I checked.

Frankly, I've broken up with one or two guys before who, it turned out, were not faithful. I was more mad at the guy than I was the "other woman" for lying to me about everything.

Especially the last one . . . who it turned out was still married (and not divorced like he claimed.)

Next time a guy says he's divorced, I'm asking to see the divorce papers and running a background check online before the first date!

[crashhelmet]

My friend stop talking to me for a while because her boyfriend was scared that I was trying to steal her from him. Yea, he was a douchebag and she deserved much better but at no time did I ever attempt to steal her from him. He didn't even know me or attempt to get to know me. Wouldn't even say hi to me when we first met.

Thank God she ended up breaking up with him.

A lot of my female friends cut out almost all communication with me when they get a new boyfriend. It's BS, but I've gotten used to it by now.

The girl I'm seeing right now is like what Lace is talking about int he OP though. Last Friday, we were out at a bar having drinks and she kept getting riled up because a girl at another side of the bar kept looking her direction. Nothing I said was getting her to relax or calm down. I had to make her switch seats with me so that her back was to the other girl.

[Andara Bledin]

One thing that bemuses me about the cheated-on getting all angry at the cheatee is that unless the cheatee is a friend of the cheated-on, the cheatee owes them nothing; it's the cheater that's at primary if not sole fault.

As an aside, people who get their SOs by being the cheatee and think the cheaters will be faithful to them crack me up with their delusions.

^-.-^

[AdminAssistant]

I will admit to refusing to invite a mutual friend who is a single female, not because of jealousy or because I don't trust Fiance, but because I don't want to deal with a needy drama queen fondling my new husband on my wedding day. I know this girl, and she will do anything for attention. Not at my wedding, not on my day.

[Nekojin]

In my opinion, there are two facets to this.

First, a person who cheats on their spouse is very much in the wrong. Most, if not all, of the blame lies here. This is the person who is breaking a commitment, essentially breaking a major promise. Unless we're talking about some form of duress (coercion, blackmail, etc), this person deserves the bulk of the wrath.

Then there's the person on the other side. Let's be clear here: someone who is in a committed relationship is subtly more attractive than the same person while single. Part of it is the lure of the unattainable - you never want something quite so much as when you know you can't have it. But part of it is also that someone in a committed relationship will tend to be more relaxed, more self-confident, and more generous. All of this plays on subconscious levels.

But there's a dramatic difference in culpability in whether or not the "other person" knows that the person is in a committed relationship. If they don't know, then IMO they're completely off the hook. It doesn't matter whether they asked or not - it's the CP (committed person) who has a responsibility to wave off people who hit on them. If the CP attempts to wave off the other person, and the other person only gets more persistent, then they share a large chunk of the blame. If they don't respect your current relationship, what does that say about their respect for you?

So, to sum up: Cheating partner = scum-sucker. Clueless other person = blameless. Knowledgeable other person = scum-sucker.

[DGoddess]

But there's a dramatic difference in culpability in whether or not the "other person" knows that the person is in a committed relationship. If they don't know, then IMO they're completely off the hook. It doesn't matter whether they asked or not - it's the CP (committed person) who has a responsibility to wave off people who hit on them. If the CP attempts to wave off the other person, and the other person only gets more persistent, then they share a large chunk of the blame. If they don't respect your current relationship, what does that say about their respect for you?

So, to sum up: Cheating partner = scum-sucker. Clueless other person = blameless. Knowledgeable other person = scum-sucker.

That pretty much sums up my last relationship: I had NO idea that the SOB was still married - he'd told me he had been divorced for a few years.

When I did find out (through my mom who had a g/f do a background check) in some strange way, it all started to make more sense. I hadn't met either of his sons and had been onto him for some time over that. I had also been quite a bitch over the fact that we weren't spending holidays together. And here he was making every excuse in the book why he was having trouble coming up with money so we could move into a house together.

He got his in the end . . . my Mom called his house and left a message for his wifey. And the wife actually called her back and Mom told everything.

He may have screwed me over (I was actually more upset with having to give up the house than his cheating - even though I was pretty upset with him over that) but in the end he got fucked over good.

Whether she's still with him or not (and it turned out that he had cheated on her several years before) I really don't care. At least he's no longer my problem.