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Okay, let's start by defining a marathon. Websters I'm sure has some bullshit story about running 26.6 miles... no, the definition of a marathon is let's see just how badly we can fuck up travel in a city so we can run, the definition of a marathon runner would then be someone who is selfish enough to participate.
And by fuck up the city, I mean that there is exactly one east/west route open in the city right now, the interstate... and that's only if you are lucky enough to be able to get there. Okay, so there is also North Temple and 2nd and 3rd Ave (the two one way streets that North Temple turns into), which is also a matter of, if you can even get to that.
And because of the stated objective of a marathon, to see how badly you can fuck up a city, rather than just having one route and people start at different points for the people only doing a 5k or half marathon, they have three separate routes through the city, further blocking any form of travel other than for the selfish runners oblivious to the city around them. If you were to superimpose all three route maps on top of each other, there is a roughly 23 block by 27 block area that is completely surrounded... which btw there are no emergency medical facilities within, so if you need urgent treatment but aren't bad enough to justify an ambulance, best of luck to you. And god help you if you live in that area and have to work outside that area, apparently the marathon planners solution to that is, well, you should have left for work before the marathon started.
Fortunately I got to pick Kevin up before the marathon started, but it started right when he got off work... what should be a 15 minute drive home took an hour and a half, and twice coming close to getting arrested for the horrific crime of getting out of my car and asking one of the officers enforcing the road closures for directions, because apparently as a citizen it is my responsibility to not only know that there isn't one route, but three, not only know where roads are closed, but read SLCPD's mind on where they have set up detours since the marathon's website has no information and no signs were put up. I'm so glad our police are so good at protecting us from people asking for detour information. Which in fairness, the second time I was belligerent, but when the first time you ask for directions they tell you it's not their problem find a map, and you do find a map and you are on what that map says should be a clear route and there's a road block and a cop who point blank says his only job is to stop people from crossing the marathon path getting home is my problem not his... yeah, I'll be belligerent, especially when the first cop threatened to arrest me simply for getting out of my car (which, for the record, this is why no one respects cops, because so few of them actually deserve it).
eta- this is the email I sent to the event organizers
And by fuck up the city, I mean that there is exactly one east/west route open in the city right now, the interstate... and that's only if you are lucky enough to be able to get there. Okay, so there is also North Temple and 2nd and 3rd Ave (the two one way streets that North Temple turns into), which is also a matter of, if you can even get to that.
And because of the stated objective of a marathon, to see how badly you can fuck up a city, rather than just having one route and people start at different points for the people only doing a 5k or half marathon, they have three separate routes through the city, further blocking any form of travel other than for the selfish runners oblivious to the city around them. If you were to superimpose all three route maps on top of each other, there is a roughly 23 block by 27 block area that is completely surrounded... which btw there are no emergency medical facilities within, so if you need urgent treatment but aren't bad enough to justify an ambulance, best of luck to you. And god help you if you live in that area and have to work outside that area, apparently the marathon planners solution to that is, well, you should have left for work before the marathon started.
Fortunately I got to pick Kevin up before the marathon started, but it started right when he got off work... what should be a 15 minute drive home took an hour and a half, and twice coming close to getting arrested for the horrific crime of getting out of my car and asking one of the officers enforcing the road closures for directions, because apparently as a citizen it is my responsibility to not only know that there isn't one route, but three, not only know where roads are closed, but read SLCPD's mind on where they have set up detours since the marathon's website has no information and no signs were put up. I'm so glad our police are so good at protecting us from people asking for detour information. Which in fairness, the second time I was belligerent, but when the first time you ask for directions they tell you it's not their problem find a map, and you do find a map and you are on what that map says should be a clear route and there's a road block and a cop who point blank says his only job is to stop people from crossing the marathon path getting home is my problem not his... yeah, I'll be belligerent, especially when the first cop threatened to arrest me simply for getting out of my car (which, for the record, this is why no one respects cops, because so few of them actually deserve it).
eta- this is the email I sent to the event organizers
The logistics for your marathon this year have been a disgrace. To be honest, I'm not sure whether your objective was to raise awareness for the Huntsman Cancer institute or if it's just a challenge to see how badly you can screw up transportation in Salt Lake, because nothing about this marathon indicated Huntsman Cancer, I only learned about that by searching your website. Hell, the only reason I even found out about the marathon, before not being able to get home because of it, was because UTA made announcements on TRAX that there would be service disruptions today, so if the objective is to raise awareness, I'd say you've failed. Your maps on the website are absolutely useless for finding alternate routes through the city, and the cops that you have hired to direct traffic are downright rude, threatening arrest to people who won't accept "we have no clue how to get around the course, that sounds like it's your problem not mine", which quite frankly, that line alone makes me want to donate to any cancer institute other than Huntsman if that is the caliber of person you are going to have working for you. Your poor planning made what should have been a 15 minute trip home from my graveyard shift into an hour and 30 minute ordeal, which I will remember when I am deciding which charities to support.
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