Being judged for something someone else did

[Andara Bledin]

It would help greatly if the other side (not the Christian in this post) would not assume and attack first and ask questions later.

Honestly, it's no better than making blanket stereotype comments about hispanics being lazy and blacks being thugs.

Just because some of the more notable examples of both happen to live up to the stereotype does not make it any more acceptable or less bigoted when your default position is to believe the person you know nothing about that shares that racial trait is the stereotype as opposed to going in with an open mind.

Plus, when the first thing that you encounter is someone attacking you for something someone else who happens to share a trait did, it gets your back up, putting you on the defensive, and makes it that much harder to engage in civilized discourse.

Seriously, how does it feel to have people assume, just because you're gay, that you're a limp-wristed lisping prancer who is out to sleep with every cute guy you meet?

Because that's the exact same thing as assuming and acting like every Christian you meet is a fire and brimstone fundie until they prove otherwise.

It's just not cool, no matter who does it or their justifications for why it should be ok for them but not others.

^-.-^

[smileyeagle1021]

Seriously, how does it feel to have people assume, just because you're gay, that you're a limp-wristed lisping prancer who is out to sleep with every cute guy you meet?

Because that's the exact same thing as assuming and acting like every Christian you meet is a fire and brimstone fundie until they prove otherwise.

difference being, there is no holy book of gayness that commands that I be limp wristed, or lisping, or a prancer who sleeps with every guy I meet. There is no basis for assuming that about me other than stereotypes. Assuming that Christians follow their own holy texts on the other hand has at least some limited basis in reality.
Also, when you live in a state where over 70% of Christians voted to amend the state constitution to codify into law that you are inferior, then I'm only wrong in my mistrust 30% of the time, but I'd be wrong in trusting 70% of the time...personally, I prefer my odds not trusting, I get hurt less often that way.

[Andara Bledin]

Gah. Bad math, bad statistics, and bad debate tactics all in half a dozen sentences.

^-.-^

[DrFaroohk]

Gah. Bad math, bad statistics, and bad debate tactics all in half a dozen sentences.

^-.-^

What's wrong with it?

[Andara Bledin]

Just off the top of my head:

1) 70% of voters who voted voted for it; There's absolutely no way to determine which were Christian and which weren't.

2) 70% of voters who voted is not 70% of the voting population; there is never a 100% turn-out.

3) It's always wrong to assume the person you are dealing with isn't their own individual, even if you'd be more than likely correct that they are with the majority.

4) Starting with a negative impression prior to first contact will damage the relationship before it even starts, making it difficult to impossible for the person unfairly judged to be fairly treated.

Bigotry is never ok. It's just not. No amount of arguing "they started it" is going to make it ok. It's just a lot of self-justification to sound like being a bad or weak person isn't something to strive to avoid.

^-.-^

[blas87]

That dead horse just can't get a break, can he?

[Peppergirl]

That dead horse just can't get a break, can he?

"I had bad things happen to me at the hands of people who share the same faith as you, so you're EXACTLY Like them and are out to get me until you prove otherwise.". SSDD.

[blas87]

And if you take religion and homophobia out of that, and just replace it with a friend or person you're dating, oh ya know when things go good and that person decides to get "scared" and make things all awkward or pick a fight for no reason?

Oh, my little brother's ex gf did that all the time. No damn good reason for it, she'd just decide there had to be some made up problem or some drama she'd create, because she'd get "scared" that things were going so well.

Yeah, cause undue and undeserved stress to a person who has done nothing but tried everything possible to be good to you.

Similar, but not completely, the first six months or so that I dated my current boyfriend, he never did anything near as bad as Psycho Little Girl (because he's not mentally deranged, he's just...very insecure, inexperienced and full of nerd rage) but he'd over analyze, over analyze, internalize. Internalize. Internalize. And "punish" me. Make something out to be the worst possible scenario. When it was really nothing. And he'd ignore me or be awkward around me for days. And expect me to "know" that I had "hurt" him so badly with things I'd said and done. Simple things like going to see a certain movie with my brother and not him. Saying something like asking why he never did anything with his friends.

It's never, ever fair to punish another person simply for your own hangups. Or to just cause chaos and drama like PLG did to my brother, just because it was "all she knew". No one deserves that.

[smileyeagle1021]

That dead horse just can't get a break, can he?

the last time I tried to let that dead horse lie I was accused of being a hypocrite by multiple people on this site, so what's the point? If I hesitate to let Christians in and don't easily trust them and I'm a religious bigot, I decide to try to open up to the possibility that I'm wrong and then I'm a hypocrite... so no matter what, I'm the bad guy, and maintaining the status quo is a lot easier when changing it won't get me anything.