Why Should I Accept It? (Very long, with some language)

[bara]

Assholes, report them, press charges. Shit needs to stop as its unacceptable.

[siead_lietrathua]

i agree with the report them and press charges.
if you are genuinely worried about it effecting their schooling, perhaps something can be arranged when negotiating their charges so that they won't be expelled. i think you, your lawyer, a rep for the police and a rep for the school should all get together and have a meeting. there might be a lesser charge they can give the boys where they will still have a fine + jailtime but where it won't effect their education beyond maybe having to take a break over a few years because of the jailtime.

[draco664]

I'm all for following up with the Warden, but see what punishment they've received from their residence before pressing charges.

You also will want to consider the fact that there may be repercussions on you. When idiots are faced with the consequences of their actions, they seldom blame themselves. Be prepared for some unwelcome attention and further harrassment if you do press charges.

It is often noted that the IQ of a mob is the IQ of the stupidest member divided by the size of the mob. Genuinely intelligent people do get caught up in the moment and do stupid things when peer pressure rears its head. Perhaps you could let the Warden know that if they apologize to you for their behaviour, you won't take it further? At that point, the ones that don't apologize are the ones that don't see what they did as wrong, and should be whacked with the clue bat a few times.

[HYHYBT]

Taking draco's comment into account, but something else to consider: they're studying to become doctors? Members of a profession that sees people alone, often at their worst, and who are mostly trusted? Remembering that uncorrected bad behavior gets worse over time... well, charges might just be the best thing even, or even especially, if it means derailing that particular career.

[Fire_on_High]

If their lives end up ruined, it's because they chose to act like rutting animals. Nail their asses to the wall!

[Glados]

I have been in the same position many times. I always let it go when I was younger. Now, I know that this only encourages more bad behavior. The most recent time it happened I fought back.

I won't say that standing up for yourself is easy but it is worth it. They deserve any punishment they get.

[PepperElf]

Most of them (3 out of 4) believe I shouldn't. They say that I will be ruining these guys' lives over something that guys just do. Plus, I'll alienate all my friends at the university. (This does not include any of them, they are old school friends.)

I will tell you something about this from experience. It's worth pressing charges.


1) YOU will not ruin their lives - THEY ruined their own lives. And some are going to be doctors? FUCK THEM. Doctors who molest ... do NOT stop at one or two victims.

2) You will alienate your friends. Only the ones who aren't worth having as friends. You will find that eventually your life turns pretty normal. Yes you'll feel like everyone's against you at first, but then as time goes on you'll find out... many people will support you. Especially when they find out that you are going up against sexual predators.


How do I know this? I can't remember if I posted about him here or at CS but... it happened to me. Kinda.

I'll call him Puke.

Puke was a corpsman on my ship (navy medic). I was originally too shy to tell him the truth - that he was fucking ugly and his repeated sexual offers (wanted to eat me out) were disgusting. I also never told anyone about his behavior. Well no one in the chain of command at least. I told a friend or two but that was is.

He stopped bugging me after a while though. So all was good right? Nope. The friend I told... was sexually assaulted. As the case against him was built up, about 4 or 5 other women came fourth with accounts against him.


I had some people shun me at first. A lot of people who tried pumping me for info too. I had to lie to them and say I knew nothing until the case was over. I was under orders (binding ones too cos the lawyers were officers) to keep my mouth shut.



My point?
Your offenders are already committing sexual assault. Rude comments are one thing but they've forced women to service them with intimidation and threats.

Do you really think they'll stop once they graduate?

Do you think being a doctor will stop them?


By turning them in you will protect other women from them.


And to be honest you might find that the other women actually respect you. You're doing what they're too scared to do. And if they do turn on you, they're not worth having friends.

Taking draco's comment into account, but something else to consider: they're studying to become doctors? Members of a profession that sees people alone, often at their worst, and who are mostly trusted? Remembering that uncorrected bad behavior gets worse over time... well, charges might just be the best thing even, or even especially, if it means derailing that particular career.

This.

This is how Puke assaulted my friend. She had worries over ob/gyn matters. She went to Puke for advice.
From what I gather he decided to conduct his own exam on her. In private.

He abused his medical status and her trust for personal pleasure.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Agreed. I read accounts of sexual predators being turned into the police, and guess what? They've been preying on victims for years. They've left a trail of broken victims behind them, who were too scared or too damaged to turn them in, until one had the courage to tell the police.

Doing so will not only gain justice for you, but will also save other women from these lechers. If their lives are ruined as a result; too bad, so sad. They were the ones who ruined their lives by their actions, no-one else.

[Zaiida]

Letting people get away with stuff only encourages more bad behavior. If no one ever puts a stop to it, these douches will never stop doing it themselves.

^*1000. How many times had they done this before? Douchbags don't become douchebags overnight it takes time and many appalling behaviours.

[Canarr]

It's not something "men just do" it's something fucktards do, if a med student is making stupid decisions like this then he probably shouldn't be a doctor.

I agree with the first part, but not with the last.

Kids do stupid shit. Especially, as draco pointed out, when they're in groups; that doesn't make them sexual predators, and that doesn't mean that they can't be good doctors, or lawyers, or car mechanics when they (hopefully) grow up.

Maybe they are sexual predators in the making, like the assholes that Lupo and PepperElf encountered. Maybe they're just dumb kids who yielded to peer pressure after a beer or two but would never in a million years actually attack someone; we don't know that.

In either case, if they broke the law, they deserve punishment according to the law; that's how things should work. Even if what they did wasn't strictly against any law in effect where the OP lives, they certainly did not exhibit behavior fitting for someone attending an institution of higher education. So, I'll echo the opinion of most of the posters here: talk to the police (possibly there's even some kind of advice hotline?), talk to the Warden or a dean at your university (possibly there's a sort of Ombudsman there who can give you advice?) about the act of pressing charges: what will it require from you, what are the consequences they can expect, etc. Then make an informed decidion. But, yes: be prepared for some backlash. Both from their friends, and from yours.

[Ladeeda]

Any update on this, I hope I hope (I hope they got drawn and quartered).