The Other Side Of The Story

[blas87]

I know guys, been a while. Wanna hear a funny story? I just *knew* you would!

Once again, blas is single.

Now, this was almost a month ago, the day I moved back home. How it took so long, is because I'm a god damned idiot and fool, but at least I eventually grew a pair, once again.

So, for now, the short story, since I have to get ready for work soon.....

I dumped the petulant whiney baby of a bf, the day I moved. Technically, he "started it" by texting me that he was sick of my "shit", whatever that is. So I took it to mean alright, cool, done with yours too, buddy.

Then about once every 12 hours for that whole long weekend, I'd get a series of texts begging me to reconsider, he was so sorry, he was just angry with me, he didn't really mean it, please oh please can we just talk?

Ok...so for nearly 9 months out of the almost year we were together, nothing was ever worth discussing, it was always easier to just ignore me and hold back feelings and treat me like an idiot until I was able to guess what I'd "done" to upset you, but once I finally put the kabosh on your idiot behavior, you want to talk? I don't think so. You were threatened. Almost once every single month, every single time we had an incident. TO STOP doing that. You wouldn't. You always turned it around and said it was me being rude.

Anyway, things have been a little awkward at work but I've been trying to do my best and be a grown up about it. Him, not so much.

Just as I figured they'd do, once people at work figured we were broken up, they put us to work together as much as possible (go figure, when we were together, we weren't allowed near one another). But hey, I treat him just the same and go about getting work done.

He, on the other hand, one day last week, about had me with clenched fists when we had been talking about something else and he just had to zing in with "Well, you just have no idea what it's like to be totally SHIT ON, like you did to me!"

I love the "other" side of the story.

[Jaden]

I'm sorry to hear things ended badly between you and your boyfriend. I'm also sorry to hear that he won't be mature about it - I'm not very good at spending time with people with whom a relationship has just ended, but if I was forced to work with them, I'd deal with it for at least that amount of time. I'd like to think I would, anyways - never actually been in that exact situation.

It seems like you're happy to be out of the relationship, just unhappy with his reaction to it, so that's good at least. It doesn't seem like you'll be hung up on him or anything. I hope he grows up and moves on so that you can do the same

[Racket_Man]

you have my sympathies Blas, as I have been there done that with a couple of my past relationships including a 20 year marriage.

in your case as in mine it boils down to a he said/she said stiuation, who preceived what, who regrets what, and who has the loudest platform.

My Ex has her "version" from her perspective (skeewed as I think it is) and I have my "version" ( as skeewed as she thinks it is). there was in the ending years a sever lack of communication, things were forced upon me that made NO sense, she put me into a "no-win" situation and then complained when I did not jump through needle sized hoops and then complained even more when I complained about the situation.

you got into a no-win situation cause your now "little boy" ex found out what it is like to be on the receiving end (which is not a pleasent thing) of PA behavior.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sounds like the perspective of Bitchface, my fiance's ex. From her point of view, I stole him from her. The real version is that she cheated on him and ditched him for the other guy, and they were split for five years before I came on the scene. But she still bleats out her madeup story as tho it's the truth.

[SkullKing]

yeah that is annoying, but I am happy for you Blas87.

Better luck next time.

[blas87]

I know, isn't the Other side of the story always more juicy?

Other than the basic "You shit on me!" line, his version that I've heard he's told a few people is that I was always mad at him, and never wanted to do anything with him, and he's just trying to work things out with me and I refuse.

Well, we already know my basic side of the story. He is the definition of passive aggressive, in the sense that he hears anything he doesn't like, immediately clams up and begins acting awkward, ignoring me or treating me differently, getting more and more angry the longer it takes me to figure out what I "did" or said. Or, the last few months, I got so sick of the shit I'd give him ONE chance to say what his problem was, and his solution to that was to sort of outburst a few words, and stomp off, and then go back to ignoring me. But, the longer I didn't make any contact with him, ya know, giving him the space he obviously acts like he wants, he got mad that I was ignoring HIM. Whatever. What a baby.

I really, really began losing any little respect I had for him when he treated my brother like shit one day we were at the movies. It was not a big deal that a group of us went. To him, it was. And he completely ignored my brother and his girlfriend. They made EVERY attempt to try to make conversation with him. EVERY. Myself included. He just sat there and read a book on his phone and sat there pouting the entire movie, then afterwards, we got to my apartment, he said he was hungry and had to leave. Despite the fact....I used to live in a city of over 50,000 people with TONS of late night places to eat. He lives where I live now, a city of less than 15,000 people and NOTHING but Wal-Mart and the truck stop to eat/get food late at night. I texted him that I did not appreciate him finding an excuse to leave and that I knew he was mad, and he said that WE had all ignored HIM and didn't include him, and, oh, he didn't want to see that movie.

Not only that, he got awkward and silently raged that I invited a friend to tag along with us on my birthday. Seriously. Because that's "weird". Not that he ever tried to control me, it's that if I ever dared do anythign without him (even when we worked total opposite shifts), he'd get silently nerd ragy over it......but if he ever had the chance to meet my friends or whatever, he'd refuse. Because, clearly, since he never leaves the house and is always waiting by the phone for me, I should also have no life.

SO glad to be rid of him. I mean, I can deal with idiots. I do every day for 12 hours a day, several days a week. But it's just too bad the way he sees it, I'm this huge monster who was sooo mean.

[Kaylyn]

Hey, Blas, I have never commented on the situation between you and the now-ex since I knew it bothered you when people did, but I'm thrilled to see you finally got out of it.

Don't suppose you saved the texts where he started it, did you? In case he needs a reminder of what really happened?

[telecom_goddess]

First of all congrats for dumping another dumbass

One piece of advice...don't jump into a another relationship. Date around and don't commit to anyone.

[blas87]

I didn't save texts because my old phone would get pissy when I got to a certain amount, so I'd delete entire conversations. This new one, I haven't seen how many I can accumulate.

I'm just happy that he doesn't text me or bother me outside of work. That first weekend, we had extra days off of work, about once every 12 hours was some text begging and pleading for another chance.

He did make one night at work extremely awkward. And it was hard, because it was just a one day work week (stupid, I know, right?), no boss, no shift lead, almost everyone else on holiday, no one in charge or really to go to. The first day back at work after I had broken up with him a few days prior......he came back and begged and pleaded to go on lunch break with me so we could talk. No, I told him. If we are going to talk at all about that kind of thing, it's NOT going to be at work. Well, please oh please, just go to breakfast with me, can't we please talk and work this out? I told him no, I made up my mind, and I'm not talking about it at work. Then he threw up his arms and said something about how I was always so mad at him for never wanting to talk about things, but now that he wants to talk about stuff, I don't.

I applied for a shift transfer anyway, but it's not because of him. It's been on CS quite a few times, I've been very unhappy with my boss and lead and especially that Evil Trainer for a long time.

I'm not doing anything but having fun right now. I lost way too many years of my life being with an asshole, and then a fucking man infant. It's ME time.

[Rageaholic]

Wow, he sounds jealous and insecure. Can't even invite your brother along without him being uncomfortable? Jesus Christ...

It figures that corporate would think making you work together would be the best idea ever, but those corporate types always have a higher way of thinking (in other words, they're full of shit).

[blas87]

He'd met my brother before.

He was just the type where, swear to God, if it wasn't someone he was friends with or close to by himself already, he only wanted to be around me. After a while, I chose to never invite him to meet any of my friends after the way he treated my brother over a god damned MOVIE where people aren't even talking for 2 hours anyway!

Jealous and insecure don't even begin to describe it. Thank the Lord he's a big pussy and would never actually do anything. He's too passive aggressive. His style is more stand around and just get angrier and angrier and ignore and ignore, explode a little, stomp away, and continue ignoring.

[Giggle Goose]

I am sad, not that you broke up with this guy but that you wasted a whole year of your life on this jerkface. I hope that now that you are at home, you can focus on getting your life in a positive direction. Maybe career change soon?

I hope this doesn't turn into a major issue at work. He sounds incredibly immature. I used to have an at-work relationship but he actually got fired maybe 6 months before we broke up. That should have been my first red flag.

[Pinecone]

First of all congrats for dumping another dumbass

One piece of advice...don't jump into a another relationship. Date around and don't commit to anyone.

How can anyone date around in a such a small pond? It really reads like Blas is making do over and over and I think it is because there are so few options in smaller cities. I'd suggest moving to a larger market. Why stick around just to put up with yet another whatever when there are much more suitable people available a few hundred/thousand miles away?

[the_std]

Why stick around just to put up with yet another whatever when there are much more suitable people available a few hundred/thousand miles away?

1) Return on investment. There is no guarantee of finding a suitable partner any number of hundred/thousand miles away. Also, one could argue that if Blas were to move somewhere with a larger population centre, there is a higher likelihood of meeting people who are not suitable partners, as maybe the type of person she is interested in does not congregate in such a place.

2) Support net. Blas has recently had to move home with her parents due to financial constraints. If she were to move somewhere else, especially to a higher population centre where the cost of living is raised, she might not have the means to pay the bills and no one to help her out if she failed. Blas is saving money to go back to school (I think?) and is therefore trying to make and sock away as much money as possible - so moving somewhere where she'd pay more bills make less sense.

3) Risk factor. It is not always a good idea to move away for relationship reasons if it does not also make financial or career sense. What if she moves away from her friends and her family, and a relationship in (City) she moves to doesn't work out? She left behind her potential career and those she is close to for the possibility of meeting a guy.

Now, I'm not saying moving to a different city to change your situation is always a bad thing. I just would understand Blas' reasons for not doing so, as in her situation, there are many.

[blas87]

Thanks, std

I'm trying to save money. It's not working very well....once I get to my days off, and I've done all my chores around the house, taken my walk or worked out or laid outside enough, I get cabin fever and I just have to get out of this little town and go back to the bigger city where I used to live. I've been going shopping or just out with friends/my brother quite often.

I got a shift transfer I applied for a few weeks ago. In about a month, I'll be working mornings/afternoons on the weekends. It isn't all because of the ex, actually, not even much about him, it's moreso about other problems at work, and it's about time to start working like a "normal" person again working during the day and sleeping at night.

Let me just keep babbling on again here...ever since I moved back home, it's been hard as HELL to stay up at night anymore. Everyone else is in bed, all of my friends work during the day, so they are asleep....I get bored as hell just sitting watching TV or playing online. I enjoy the time I get to spend during my days off with people, so it wouldn't be too hard to see friends and such during the week.

We have temporary layoffs again at work, so there goes that money, too