I guess some background is in order. My mom is one of 8 children, so I have a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Every so often we go to Maine on vacation at a lake that rents cabins. It's a lot of fun, but this year was really tense.
I shared a 2-bedroom cabin with my mom, sister, and my fiance (who I shared a room with, of course). Since the closest store to the cabin "resort" is an hour away by car, my fiance A and I stocked up on beer, wine, and nonperishable food at Costco before we drove up. I told my mom we would split the cost with her. We brought 3 cases (36 bottles) of wine and a couple cases of beer and water. Yes, we drink a lot, my mom most of all. My mom and her sisters probably drank 2/3 of the wine and didn't say "Thank you" once. Mom also didn't reimburse us because she said we "went over her budget." So she said she would pay for our half of the cabin instead of giving us money for the supplies we brought. She got the better end of the deal, but I didn't say a word. I find it funny that this woman raised me to thank people whenever I received something to my benefit, but she can't do the same for me or anyone else.
Since our cabin was closest to the lake, various family members would just waltz right in and help themselves to water or whatever else they wanted. Again, not a big deal, since we're family, but not one of those assholes said "thanks." Instead we were dubbed "the Costco cabin" and "moneybags" in a derisive tone at various gatherings.
The icing on the cake was when my mom told me that she would be cooking all day on Thursday in preparation for a family gathering that evening, and that I wasn't allowed to cook breakfast (which I had been doing every morning with no "thanks," of course) because "I used every pot and pan in the house." All 2 of them. Not to mention that my sister had not been doing the dishes after breakfast like she had volunteered too.
A few other gems:
-We were driving to a secluded spot to spread my grandmothers ashes (she died in October), and my aunt apparently volunteered A and I to pile a bunch of people in our car to take them to the ceremony. Again, no thanks from anyone or even a notification until 5 minutes before the event.
-My brother (who could not come due to work) is able to provide a family discount on hotel rooms, since he works for a large and well-known chain of them. My aunt (same as the above example) and her daughter called him on several occasions to use his discount for a cheap hotel room on the way to Maine and back. They never call him just to chat or see how he's doing. I talked to him this morning, and none of them thanked him. Oh yeah, and his HR department gets notified if he throws out too many of those discounts. I didn't bother calling him because I figured he'd get in trouble.
I hope I don't sound like a brat, I really don't mind doing favors . I'm a giving person and I'm glad to be in a position where I can help out. But what the hell is wrong with "thanks" every once in a while???!
Next time A and I will be getting our own cabin for sure. I can't wait until everyone bitches about the quality of our wedding
I shared a 2-bedroom cabin with my mom, sister, and my fiance (who I shared a room with, of course). Since the closest store to the cabin "resort" is an hour away by car, my fiance A and I stocked up on beer, wine, and nonperishable food at Costco before we drove up. I told my mom we would split the cost with her. We brought 3 cases (36 bottles) of wine and a couple cases of beer and water. Yes, we drink a lot, my mom most of all. My mom and her sisters probably drank 2/3 of the wine and didn't say "Thank you" once. Mom also didn't reimburse us because she said we "went over her budget." So she said she would pay for our half of the cabin instead of giving us money for the supplies we brought. She got the better end of the deal, but I didn't say a word. I find it funny that this woman raised me to thank people whenever I received something to my benefit, but she can't do the same for me or anyone else.
Since our cabin was closest to the lake, various family members would just waltz right in and help themselves to water or whatever else they wanted. Again, not a big deal, since we're family, but not one of those assholes said "thanks." Instead we were dubbed "the Costco cabin" and "moneybags" in a derisive tone at various gatherings.
The icing on the cake was when my mom told me that she would be cooking all day on Thursday in preparation for a family gathering that evening, and that I wasn't allowed to cook breakfast (which I had been doing every morning with no "thanks," of course) because "I used every pot and pan in the house." All 2 of them. Not to mention that my sister had not been doing the dishes after breakfast like she had volunteered too.
A few other gems:
-We were driving to a secluded spot to spread my grandmothers ashes (she died in October), and my aunt apparently volunteered A and I to pile a bunch of people in our car to take them to the ceremony. Again, no thanks from anyone or even a notification until 5 minutes before the event.
-My brother (who could not come due to work) is able to provide a family discount on hotel rooms, since he works for a large and well-known chain of them. My aunt (same as the above example) and her daughter called him on several occasions to use his discount for a cheap hotel room on the way to Maine and back. They never call him just to chat or see how he's doing. I talked to him this morning, and none of them thanked him. Oh yeah, and his HR department gets notified if he throws out too many of those discounts. I didn't bother calling him because I figured he'd get in trouble.
I hope I don't sound like a brat, I really don't mind doing favors . I'm a giving person and I'm glad to be in a position where I can help out. But what the hell is wrong with "thanks" every once in a while???!
Next time A and I will be getting our own cabin for sure. I can't wait until everyone bitches about the quality of our wedding
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