I wonder what she meant by that....

[Racket_Man]

I may be reading more into this than I should but knowing the person I think not.

as someof you may remember I mentioned in a couple of threads my GF has a terminal degenerative brain disease and has only about 3 or so years to live. Now her family knows and a few others know since the official diagnosis a little over a year ago. I did tell my daughter the situation but asked her NOT to mention it to my Ex-wife (I had my reasons which may be apparent later).

Now Gf and I are not married for a variety of reasons. the main one is that if we got married certain govermental benefits would not be available to her as my income added to her SS disability would be too high.


Now my Ex and I were "married" for 20 years of which the last 5 were a combination of her going on a "spiritial journey" and other assorted crap with religious overtones (some of which involved things that should never have happened. needless to say over a period of 5 years things imploded until one of us (me) could not take the crap and the lies and deception and the betrayal no more. she moved out for a third time and we ended it with an official divorce.

we both moved on and made seperate lives.

Now I did not tell my Ex about GFs condition until a couple of week ago when we got together for my grandsons birthday.

I gave her a quick Reader's Digest version of GF's condition and the terminal nature of it.

One of the first questions out of her mouth was "What are you going to do with GF's house?" NOT "how are you doing?? or "How is GF doing???" or "How is GFs daughter handling it??", ETC.

GF did purchase a modest house about 20 years ago and has a large part of the mortgage paid off. since we are not married (GF and I) I have no "legal" claim to said house, am not on the title or mortgage. though at this point I could POSSIBLY buy the property for the price of the remaining mortgage value (substancially below the assested value) .

My main rant is that why would this question be the first out of her mouth????

Yeah not knowing my Ex, her peronality, and our "history" is the big factor ( I will envetually post the condensed version) but it really burns me up that her concern was along the lines of "OH>>>>>>HOUSE...... maybe you could take in daughter and grandson NOW"

[siead_lietrathua]

wow. regardless of her modivations that was just a bitchy thing to do. "oh, your partner is very ill... what do you get out of it?!?" basically. what a jerk.

[gremcint]

Oh my god. My friend's wife died a few years ago, his father in law moved in with him for a few months to help share bills and help each other work through stuff. The fil has been separated from his wife (human garbage) but still legally married for years, in fact she lives with her boyfriend in their house while he rents an apartment, he's still married because a divorce would destroy him financially.

She's over the day he moved in and I actually heard her say to FIL to make sure my friend leaves him the house.

[HYHYBT]

It would have been tactful for ex to pretend to care about gf's illness, or at least about how that affects you other than assuming you would inherit a house.

On the other hand… your lack of a marriage license does not preclude leaving you the house, and if the two of you are only "not married" on paper, it would make sense to think you'd written wills leaving each other your stuff.

[BlaqueKatt]

not knowing your ex, my first impression of a random person like that, with that background, I'd think, "well that 'spiritual journey' sure took a materialistic wrong turn there."

[blas87]

Not sure if I read this wrong or not, but what I got out of it, it wreeked to me the same way it smelled right before my Nanna died, and her kids (my mother's aunt and uncle) were more or less frothing at the mouth over what they'd get when she finally died than about the fact that their mother had been suffering for so many years (and hadn't been properly cared for to boot!!!) and was about to finally be at peace.