Always screwing up

[LadyBarbossa]

I've always been awkward and had a social phobia. The social thing has gotten much better in the past few years, and I have a nice network of friends now, mostly people from work. But I still feel like I'm always doing or saying something awkward and idiotic and that people must think I'm mentally handicapped at times. Last week I went to lunch with a friend, usually we have a great time, and while it wasn't awful, I couldn't help but feel really uncomfortable with him, like we didn't click as well as we should or used to.

And I'm always fucking something up. I got honked at in traffic yesterday while trying to change lanes. Later on I discovered a bump on the left rear wheelwhell of my truck - I didn't realize we hit each other. Now the other drive is accusing me of hit and run. When I noticed the bump, I did go to the police station and told them about it, but all they did was take my name and number and didn't say there was an incident reported earlier. The other driver's agent said that a police report WAS filed. Why didn't they tell me about it when I went there?! Now I'm in all sorts of shit. I'm hoping the insurance companies just get it straightened out, and I'm willing to pay the other person's damages if there are any. But I did NOT hit and run and now I'm terrified I'll get charged of a misdemeanor and get points on my license. Why didn't I just stay at work for lunch yesterday? Why did I have to go that way?

I'm always fucking up and times like this I just wish I could go far, far away. Away from people, away from life. Forever.

[telecom_goddess]

I feel exactly like you do. It's one of the reasons I don't drive. And don't do much besides go to work and go home

Being social and sucking at it is too much pressure sometimes.

[blas87]

At least you're willing to try with the social thing. There's plenty of people who'd rather suck the life out of everyone around them because they hate everyone, than to try to even attempt to get along with others in just what's required (aka, coworkers trying to work together, etc etc).

I feel like a fuck up 99.999% of the time. I feel like everyone thinks I'm a joke with boobs and whenever I'm home, I'm lectured like I'm still 15 damn years old, when I'm at work I'm just a joke with boobs that is just there for everyone to make fun of.

[XCashier]

I'm totally in the same boat. I feel like I'm from another planet sometimes. I do want to be around people, but I can't "read" others very well, and I always feel like I have to walk on eggshells around them. The moment I drop my guard, I make some embarrassing faux pas that brings on either huffy offense or condescending mockery. And they treat me that way from that moment on, because nobody can consider that I made a mistake; it must be that I'm a complete and utter moron.

:sigh: Sometimes I wish I could go far away. Perhaps with others like me. Let the social butterflies flock together and fuss over fashion and other fluff. We can have smart discussions about science and history and do fun stuff like LARPing!

[the_std]

:sigh: Sometimes I wish I could go far away. Perhaps with others like me. Let the social butterflies flock together and fuss over fashion and other fluff. We can have smart discussions about science and history and do fun stuff like LARPing!

I know you weren't saying this to be insulting, but I do take some umbrage to what you've said.

Just because a person is social and can cope with some of the more pressing stresses that being social brings doesn't mean that we are all vapid and shallow. I very much enjoy the company of other people and pride myself on being an excellent public speaker/conversationalist, and I'm just as nerdy as the so-called wallflowers. I LARP, I WoW, I D&D...

It doesn't make me better than anyone else. It is not a status thing. I am not more popular or more well-liked because of it. I just resent the fact that, because I am good at people and talking to people, I am seen as somehow less intellectual.

[AdminAssistant]

I just resent the fact that, because I am good at people and talking to people, I am seen as somehow less intellectual.

I know, right? And it's that attitude that perpetuates the idea that gamers/nerds are all the forever alone-rs who refuse to get out in the 'real world.' It's just not true. Also, I like fashion and a certain amount of celeb gossip...as well as gaming and history and art and stuff. So there.

[Amanita]

I'm a geek, a cosplayer, an artist, an online gamer, and also an aspiring fashion designer. So much for stereotypes!
Sometimes I feel I'm straddling the line between extrovert and introvert when it comes to social situations, and I can totally relate to making mistakes and beating myself up over them, and feeling at odds with the world, or other people.

[XCashier]

I know you weren't saying this to be insulting, but I do take some umbrage to what you've said.

Just because a person is social and can cope with some of the more pressing stresses that being social brings doesn't mean that we are all vapid and shallow.

I assure you that that wasn't what I meant! (See what I mean about the faux pas?) I know there are people who are good at socialization and intelligent; many of my friends are like that. They're also the ones who are most understanding of my idiosyncracies.

But there are a lot of shallow people out there, too. They're the ones who make things difficult, who won't understand anyone who's wired a little differently.

Open mouth, insert foot, as usual. I didn't mean to insult anybody, and I apologize.

[HYHYBT]

Being good at socializing is a kind of intelligence.

[blas87]

I always thought of myself as odd because I'm like 70/30 when it comes to social stuff. Ever since moving back home to my parents' place, I will find ANY reason to get out of the house, but at the same time, there are certain things I almost have to do by myself or I can't get my best results. Like working out. I spend a lot of time working out, I don't mind walking or doing it with others, but those workouts won't really "count" to me because other people distract me from doing the best I can.

[Hyena Dandy]

My approach to social situations is to see it as a performance. Most of the time in public I'm not really me, I'm someone playing me.

[Andara Bledin]

The yena's process is similar to my own.

The me that I am is not nearly as socially acceptable as the me that I play in public.

When I was younger, I didn't even understand why people reacted the way they did to what I said.

^-.-^