Loudness At Home (For No Reason)

[blas87]

I know I'll get the usual preaching done at me for saying this, but I just have to vent. It's just another one of my living back at home with the parents rants.

I miss living alone so much. Not even my boyfriend's kids are this fucking loud.

With my new work shift, I am now off Mon-Wed and every other Thursday. That gives me three or four days a week of peace and quiet in the morning and afternoon when everyone leaves for work. Time to clean up after everyone (because I clean in lieu of rent) and run my errands and enjoy a nice, quiet house with my pets (or do whatever I do).

But, as soon as everyone comes home, save for my brother....God, there are some days, I seriously turn up my music and get the hell out of there as quick as I can and find some place to go if I can.

We already all know my Dad drinks too much, so we don't really need to elaborate any further on that. He has his good days and bad days. Most of the time, he just gets so drunk he doesn't realize how loud he's talking. But it's still fucking annoying. Hey, I do that too when I drink too much. Thing is, I don't do it in a house where I know other people are in and may be trying to sleep or do something!

My Mom...ooh boy. Look, I know ya'll may get preachy with me here. I've been in her position. I've hated my job before. I've came home infuriated many, many times. Well, I should say, I went to my parents' house for breakfast before I went back to my apartment. I tried my DAMNEST to not raise my voice and not get loud, wait till I got home and was alone so I could vent to myself and exercise the problem out. I know she's having a tough time at work and I know every day gets worse for her.

But...it's just so annoying. She comes home from work, nearly every day, if it's not annoying enough that the moment she comes home, she starts howling everyone's name until they answer (ooh, gee, I remember growing up, we had a specific rule about no shouting in the house?!), and I mean, she will keep howling everyone's name until everyone who is home is accounted for (don't even ask about when I'm in the shower, I can hear her screaming, and it's like don't you hear the water running? Yeah, shower's going, no one's in it, I'm totally laying on the floor dead Ma!). It gets even better.

My mom is a very, very loud person. She never realizes how loud she is. She shouts on her cell phone even when she's not upset. She shouts pretty much all the time. She is completely unable to tell a story without being completely loud and as loud as she would have been when the real story happened. For instance, she'll want to go walking with me, and we'll be walking around the neighborhood, she'll be telling me about something that happened at work, and she will describe what was said to her or what she said just as loud and angry or obnoxiously as it was said when it really happened. I am not exaggerating when I say she's embarrassed me, made other people stare or stop what they are doing in their yards as we walk past.

Another thing that drives my brother and I out of the house quicker than you can say "Oh Shit" is when Mom comes home, sees how intoxicated Dad is, and picks a fight with him. Or, when Dad is just drunk enough where he's having a hard time putting a sentence together, so he's struggling to tell her something and Mom is whistling and yelling "NO, NO, NO!" between words and then going "NO, NO, NO, NO!" in between some more words.

A week or so ago, my brother had car troubles, and he was trying to explain to my mom what was wrong, and she kept doing one of the most annoying things she does, which is takes her hands and does the "Time Out" gesture, only she slams and slams and slams her hands together and keeps progressively yelling "TIME. OUT! TIME. OUT!" until you stop talking. Yeah, my mom is one of those people who constantly interrupts, but if you interrupt her, she will start screaming "YOU CUT ME OFF!"

I mean, it just all irritates me because ever since I moved back home, I have done everything in my power to not disturb anyone who is sleeping if I come home late, try not to be too loud when I get up for work at 4:15 am on the weekends, and I do my damnest to keep my cool and not explode on people and no matter how upset I am, not go around the house screaming at people for no reason. My brother is the same way. And our parents are loud as hell. From the moment my parents get home, if it's not Dad watching the TV at max volume or Mom coming home and screaming at Dad for being a failure at life.....oi vey. I need a drink. And then they fucking wonder why I have no issue driving 25 miles away to stay at my boyfriend's house at any time.

Thanks for letting me rant. I just hope I'm not alone. Noise like that just drives me nuts.

[Greenday]

Living with other people just continually makes me not want to live with anyone ever. The hassle it creates never seems to be worth it.

[Giggle Goose]

Oh, dear. I hope you don't have to stick around there for too long

When my fiance and I had a roommate living with us, it was terrible. Him and fiance are best friends and are both big guys with voices that carry like you wouldn't believe. Their favorite pastime is watching TV and ripping on people. Which is really fun, when I'm NOT in the next room doing my homework. And we are in a condo, so there's no other floor to escape to.

Roommate is gone, but fiance and his mom talking on the phone? Ye gods....and he wonders why I'd rather drive to the library!

[guywithashovel]

When I lived at home, I used to have to deal with this, especially when my Dad was home. Dad is one of those people who has to announce when he gets home and then start bellowing out everyone's names until he gets an answer. However, he worked second shift back then, so he was usually gone when I was home.

For the most part, it wasn't that bad when I was in high school. When I got home in the evenings, I could just chill out in my room and unwind in peace and quiet, which is what I like to do when I get home from being somewhere. However, once I got into college, all that changed. As soon as I got home, Mom would attach herself to my hip and start hammering me with all kinds of questions. Either that, or she would just start rambling on and on about this or that or whatever. I probably sound like a jerk for complaining about that, but I'm not one of those people who likes to be extra social when I get home. I need some time to unwind and relax in solitude. Mom would even say, "I know you tend to want peace and quiet when you get home," but then would proceed to yap at me for thirty minutes or so.

[blas87]

Oh Heavens, that's not rude at all. My brother and I feel the same. But as soon as we get home, we've got the Mom Stalker.

One of the reasons my brother does his damnest to avoid time at home is because Mom has gotten so damn clingy in recent times, and more nosey than she ever was before! She no longer has the control of who we can be friends with and date like when we were teens, but damn if she still doesn't do everything in her power to find out everything that's going on and throw in her unwanted two cents about every damn situation. And if you are home.....oh dear Christ. I have yet to be able to sit up in my room watching TV or working out or watching a movie without Mom yelling up the stairs asking me if I'm ok or coming up there and bugging me.

My brother and I were out to eat the other day, chatting about those little stick figure comics on 9gag.com, and we were thinking we'd make our own versions of living at home with our parents. Especially Mom.

[protege]

The noise at my parents' place was one of the reasons I moved out. I work in a noisy office, and the last thing I want to deal with once home...is more fucking noise.

There were nights that I'd arrive home, and my mother would be screaming at someone, or yammering loudly away on the damn phone. There was no escaping that shit--if I went upstairs to my room, and closed the door...the noise would follow me. That is, she'd follow me upstairs, and bitch about how "rude" I was for closing the damn door! Seriously?

Other annoyances include having to listen to her phone conversation while trying to watch TV. She'd sit next to the doorway, and since her voice tends to carry, watching TV simply wasn't happening. When confronted, she'd scream about how "it's my house, I'll do what I want." Odd then, if I did that to *her* she'd flip the fuck out.

Then there were the constant 'disagreements' with my dad. He would either do something "wrong," or inadvertently say the "wrong" thing, and she'd start on him. There have been nights that I'll stop by, and if I hear screaming, I don't even bother opening the door. I get back in the car, and go home. Sometimes, I don't even have to do that--if it's loud enough to hear in the driveway...I don't even get out of the car. 30 years of that shit is enough!

Most, if not all of the things that set her off, aren't really all that important to begin with. For example, is it really worth screaming about my brother being an ass...and not taking out the trash?

[blas87]

Hear you loud and clear, protege.

One of the reasons I pushed and pushed to be allowed to buy my own TV for my bedroom (when I was a teen still), is because first of all, the whole family sharing a TV was not happening, but even more importantly, my mother had the awesome habbit of always wanting to make her phone calls whenever my brother or I were trying to just chill and watch TV after school or work or whatever. This was when people still used landlines exclusively. It seemed almost like a game or something she plotted......I'd come home, turn on That 70's Show or something to chill out to, and within moments "Mmmmmm Hello Nanna! HOWWWWWW ARE YOOOOOOOOU???? MMMMMM GOOOOOOD! That's GOOOOD to hear!!! Yep, Yep, Blas and Brother are still in school Mmmm YEP....time flies so fast..........MmmMMMMmmmm Butttttt.............Mmmmm Hmmm........yammer yammer yammer loudly loudly loudly about nothing nothing nothing" and I did not even DARE ask her to quiet down, or I'd be at the very least just yelled at, if not grounded for the evening. Because, not only was it "her house", but "faaaaaaaaamily is more important than the IDIOT BOX!!!!" and we have a cordless phone, but you insist on taking it everywhere everyone else is sitting.

Forgive the CAPS and that nonsense, but that's how I best remember how that always went.

My brother and I are realizing that even though we are wasting a lot of money by bailing and driving off any chance we get, the peace is priceless. Even if we are spending too much time at the mall or playing pool or at a bar....at least we aren't listening to the constant yelling and bellowing from room to room.

[telecom_goddess]

Jesus, makes me glad I get the house to myself most evenings after work.

[protege]

and I did not even DARE ask her to quiet down, or I'd be at the very least just yelled at, if not grounded for the evening. Because, not only was it "her house", but "faaaaaaaaamily is more important than the IDIOT BOX!!!!" and we have a cordless phone, but you insist on taking it everywhere everyone else is sitting.

Same here. Mom was constantly going on about how it was "her house," and her rules only applied to everyone else. She'd flip the hell out if dad was on the phone, and sitting in the chair by the kitchen door. Dad's deaf, and sometimes his voice is a bit loud. So it was a bit hypocritical when she'd yell at him for doing exactly what she did.

She flipped out on me one night when I was watching Star Wars. Like most 1980s kids, I've seen it many times. Anyway, she wasn't too amused when I turned up the volume a bit. In fact, I got screamed at because "the TV doesn't need to be that loud. You've seen that movie, you know what's coming." My reply "Yeah, but I'm in here trying to hear the movie. I *don't* want to hear you talking."

Now, many years on, she wonders why most family members tune her out

[MadMike]

I got screamed at because "the TV doesn't need to be that loud.

My mom did the same thing when I turned the TV in the living room on when I got home from school. She screamed at me about how my stepdad was taking a nap, and "there's no reason for the TV to be that loud!" Funny thing about that, all I had done was turned it on. I hadn't touched the volume at all. It was up that loud from when she and my stepdad had been watching TV the night before, when my brother and I were trying to sleep. Yes, I pointed that out to her, and no, she wasn't amused, to put it mildly.

That sort of thing wasn't an isolated incident by any means. If she or my stepdad were sleeping, I'd get yelled at if I made the slightest bit of noise. But if my brother or I were trying to sleep, they could make all the noise they wanted, and often did.

[agirlfromnowhere]

If she or my stepdad were sleeping, I'd get yelled at if I made the slightest bit of noise. But if my brother or I were trying to sleep, they could make all the noise they wanted, and often did.

And this is why I couldn't wait until I was legally old enough to move out of my mom and stepdad's house. My stepdad was of the mindset that it was HIS house, he made all the noise he wanted at any hour of the day, everyone else be damned. This meant that occasionally he'd come home at 2 am singing or something stupid, waking everyone up. I remember one time on a weeknight where I had to get up early to go to school, he was sitting in the kitchen talking to someone and of course they couldn't keep it at a normal voice level and it was late and I couldn't sleep. Yeah, that was fun.

Oh, but if he was sleeping, you'd better not even open the bathroom door, which was next to their bedroom door, too loudly because you might wake someone up.

And this is kind of different because it was my mother's job and couldn't be helped really but my mother ran a daycare out of our house so when I got out of school until about 6 there were screaming kids running around everywhere. That wouldn't have been so bad, I guess, but I was expected to help my mom with them when I got home. After a while I just started going to the library after school and having my dad pick me up when he got off work.

[protege]

That sort of thing wasn't an isolated incident by any means. If she or my stepdad were sleeping, I'd get yelled at if I made the slightest bit of noise. But if my brother or I were trying to sleep, they could make all the noise they wanted, and often did.

You too? Same thing at my mother's. If she or my brothers were trying to sleep, it had to be perfectly quiet. No radio on (even with the door closed), the kitchen door had to be shut, and the TV down to a 'reasonable' level. Yet, if *I* wanted to sleep until say, 9-10am, none of that shit applied. There would be video games *blaring* from my brothers' rooms, the occasional loud argument downstairs, or someone (usually my brother) screaming "goal" whenever the Pens scored. If I complained, I got ignored.

[Amanita]

Same here. I work night shift security. When my sister was at home, I was NOT ALLOWED to make any noise when she was asleep. If she didn't complain, my mother would sally forth in her defense, prepared to kick my butt because I *might* be disturbing her.

However, on mornings when I came home from doing a 12 hour night shift, my sister would be blasting music (her speakers were right up against the wall that my room and hers had in common), and she would be running her hair dryer on top of that. When I asked if she could turn off the music (If I couldn't listen to music out loud when she was sleeping, why should she have a privilege I didn't?) and take her blow dryer to the downstairs bathroom where there was a mirror, my mom flipped out on me. I was told in no uncertain terms that "Other people need to live", and I had better just suck it up and deal.

[blas87]

I'm not even going to start with my old night shift rants, because everyone's heard them a billion times. There was so much hypocrisy amongst my family and friends. As if I had "chosen" to work nights and could just get on a day shift any time I pleased. Hah. Only if I wanted to make less money! I got lucky a couple of months ago and got a lateral job posting so I can still make my night shift wage working a day shift. Only catch is that it's on the weekends. Which sucks, but it's much better than the drama I had been dealing with since the factory went to all 12 hour rotating shifts.

Things since I've moved back home have been interesting. I'm beginning to think that my parents are extracting revenge on me for what I did as a teen.

Every other Wednesday night, and then Thursday night through Saturday nights, I have to be in bed ideally before 9:30 if I want to be up by a little after 4 to get ready for work in the morning.

My parents' bedroom is right by the ONLY bathroom in the house. I tip toe down the stairs, as quiet as I can, I don't use my hair dryer in the bathroom, I turn off the microwave before it hits the end of it's session, to be quiet for them, yet nearly every morning, as I approach the bathroom, I hear my dad stomping to their bedroom door and slamming it shut. Then, after I get out of the bathroom to take my medication and some water, I hear both of them just tossing and turning on the bed, as if I totally just made it so they can't sleep.

Yet, barely a day goes by where my mom isn't screaming at the top of her lungs at my dad. You can count on your hand how many times in an hour she either yells "BACK OFF!" or "KNOCK IT OFF!" or "NO!" at him for whatever he's done wrong or asked of her or whatnot.

Dad blasts Fox News all damn afternoon as soon as he comes home. Mom comes home and they argue all damn evening.

This is why, when I'm off work.....I will go anywhere, go to any store, do anything to not be home until they go to bed.

[Greenday]

Then, after I get out of the bathroom to take my medication and some water, I hear both of them just tossing and turning on the bed, as if I totally just made it so they can't sleep.

Are you so sure it's just "tossing and turning" from not being able to sleep?