Fuck Inspiration Porn

[crashhelmet]

taking these two points. before your eyes were opened, if someone came up to you and spouted that second line, would it have done anything? would you have taken it as a positive challenge, or would it have made things worse, or had no effect at all. when you eyes were closed, would any inspirational quotes have mattered?

In my situation, my friend didn't force me to open my eyes. She didn't do anything to force me out of my depression. Like the others, she probably didn't even know I was going through it. She was, for lack of a better term, living "Inspirational Porn." I don't remember what my thought process was, as this was about 21 years ago, but I remember one day just thinking about her taking time out for me and it just kind of hit like a moment of clarity.

I honestly don't know how I would've reacted if someone had been forceful with me. I'm someone that normally feeds off of criticism, often times being my own worst critic. I probably would've argued with them until they convinced me I was not a burden or useless, or they got frustrated and gave up. As I said before, the ONLY thing that kept me from killing myself was my Catholic faith. That's how low I was.

because that's what i was talking about. people with their eyes closed, ears closed, trying so hard to make it day by day and that havent had anyone come into their life that could help open their eyes. and how telling them it's all up to them, in their head, they need to get over it, or they aren't trying hard enough is damaging.

What, in your opinion, does it take to get a person like this to open their eyes? Show them love or support, and they may see pity and feel worse. Show them strength and they may feel weaker. Once they've given up, no amount of anything will help them until they choose for themselves to continue fighting again.

[siead_lietrathua]

every person has something different, and only they know what it is. as you said, yourself, it was one person taking time out of their day to be nice to you. for someone else it could be someone on a suicide support line, or a family member, etc.
i'm saying everyone is different. what part of that is hard to understand?
if someone is going to be inspired by the stories of others, they probably seek out those types of stories, just how you would have looked up to see if that woman would still say hello. but forcing it on them is not going to necessarily help.

this thread isn't about supporting people, even stories, or anything else except fr images like this:
http://stonecoldcoffee.files.wordpre...1498852_n1.jpg

that's what the thread is about. stop making it about how people are too weak to heal themselves when we are talking about things that can derail healing.

[Nekojin]

every person has something different, and only they know what it is.

Most of the time, even they don't know what it is. If they did, they'd use it.

[Hyena Dandy]

I think there's a difference between, 'depression' and what I always took those for.

I always took those as a response to people who are totally healthy and in a good situation who make excuses not to try something.

Depression is serious, and it's a disability the same way that injuries are disabilities. I see no reason to think someone can snap their fingers and 'get over it.'

On the other hand, there's a difference between something like depression, and more minor excuse-making, which is what I always see those as addressing.

[Fire_on_High]

Ah Crash, you've irked the Cult of Victimhood, those who insistently believe we aren't free willed beings who can still make the choice not to respond to how we feel, but instead do what we need to do, or promised to do, or otherwise have commitments that actually matter more than feeeeeeeeeeeeelings.

You're not going to win this fight because everyone younger than 30, and possibly older than that, has been brainwashed that the only thing that matters is how you feel, if you're happy, etc.

Instead, the most important realization most of these ppl need to make is how they feel is utterly unimportant. Reality, like honey badger, doesn't give a...

[siead_lietrathua]

@fire: ugh, you really don't get it? messing with the head of someone with a mental disability is like kicking someone in a wheelchair to the ground and telling them to get up, they just ain't trying hard enough. it has little to do with feelings and more to do with being a decent human being.
then again, if not kicking people when they are down makes me some overly-emotional hippy freak, well.....
peace and love, groovy dudes.

@hyena. i know that those are often handed to people that don't have any issue. but i also know people with mental disabilities that have had photos like that sent to them. and it set them off. so i tend to give a shit when it comes to shoving them in other people's faces.

[Andara Bledin]

Instead, the most important realization most of these ppl need to make is how they feel is utterly unimportant. Reality, like honey badger, doesn't give a...

Wow. That's the sort of anti-social drivel I'd expect to hear from a sociopath.

And, based on actual medicine, how a person feels makes a shit-ton of difference.

So, not only do you come off as an uncaring jerk, but you're also factually wrong.

^-.-^

[crashhelmet]

every person has something different, and only they know what it is. as you said, yourself, it was one person taking time out of their day to be nice to you. for someone else it could be someone on a suicide support line, or a family member, etc.
i'm saying everyone is different. what part of that is hard to understand?
if someone is going to be inspired by the stories of others, they probably seek out those types of stories, just how you would have looked up to see if that woman would still say hello. but forcing it on them is not going to necessarily help.

this thread isn't about supporting people, even stories, or anything else except fr images like this:
http://stonecoldcoffee.files.wordpre...1498852_n1.jpg

that's what the thread is about. stop making it about how people are too weak to heal themselves when we are talking about things that can derail healing.

I understand that everyone is different. I've been saying that all along. I've been repeating ad nauseum that everything comes down to how you as an individual choose to interpret something.

Your argument seems to be that only negative interpretations are acceptable for this thread. That everyone must agree with you, Eisa, and everyone else on your side that these things are evil incarnate and only cause more harm.

And I'm telling you that there are people that benefit from them. I am one of them. Read my posts and you'll see that there were 2 levels to my depression. I wasn't magically healed once I got out of the "I'm a useless burden" stage.

Shit... even the National Organization on Disability says "It's ability, not disability, that counts."

But fuck them. They don't know your pain. They don't know how you feel. They don't know what you are going though.

[siead_lietrathua]

I understand that everyone is different. I've been saying that all along. I've been repeating ad nauseum that everything comes down to how you as an individual choose to interpret something.

the only thing i've seen you say over and over is "weak-minded people". not that people are diffrent, and it would help some and not others. not that it may not of helped you but it could help others. not any examples of someone that's been helped by inspiration porn.
only, and constantly, that "weak minded" people won't change.

edit:

see, from rereading the thread, we are both saying the same thing. but where i'm saying "inspiration porn won't help everyone, so we shouldnt shove it in people's faces", you come across as saying "inspiration porn won't help everyone, but...

I will post these signs and slogans everywhere around them.

edit:

what's more likely to actually inspire someone? an image with "no excuse" slapped on it like
http://www.artmagz.info/wp-content/u.../no-excuse.jpg

or something showing the people behind the disability?
http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2010...abled-artists/

[Nekojin]

I understand that everyone is different. I've been saying that all along. I've been repeating ad nauseum that everything comes down to how you as an individual choose to interpret something.

Once again, you're overstating people's ability to voluntarily choose to be happy. AmbrosiaWriter said it very well a few pages back, but I'll summarize what she said: When you're clinically depressed, it is exceedingly common for you lack the awareness, energy, and willpower to make that conscious decision.

And just to be crystal clear, we're not talking about being a little mopey here.

[Hyena Dandy]

Very severe depression often is a physical disability as much as anything else is.

The fact is that it doesn't manifest physically. But it is an imbalance in chemicals in the brain, that lead to depression.

Now, one thing that has helped ME is deciding that I'm one of the greatest people ever, and accepting no argument, particularly from myself.

But I still get depressed. I'm better able to tell myself I'm wrong when I say things about myself. But I'm still depressed sometimes.

And it's something that just everybody can do. It takes time and effort, and there's no magical cure for depression.

But one thing is that, at least in my experience, the inspiration porn things can have a negative effect.

What happened to you, Crash, was not only specific in the 'you had a friend' but it wasn't a mental problem.

You had a desire (join the marines)

Your ability to fulfill that desire was taken away (destroyed foot)

You were able to adapt to a destroyed foot, which is good. But people who are severely injured generally, over time, sort of return to their baseline mental state.

And for your case, 'inspiration porn' (which is already like 150% less sexy than normal porn) is something that can be very helpful. That being injured is not something that will keep you from fulfilling your goal.

But many people aren't depressed ABOUT something. They're not depressed because, like you, they had a goal in life that they can't fulfill, or they feel that they can't do one specific thing.

In my experience, one of the absolute least helpful things can be these inspiration porn messages, because they don't lead to "If they can do X, then I can do Y!" They lead to, "Great, a guy with no hands can paint beautifully, and I can't even make a damn cup of coffee!"

[Eisa]

^Exactly.

I was born with clubfeet. There has never been a time in my life where I was not, at the least, physically disabled. I grew up knowing that there would be things I would never be able to do--and while my parents actually were fairly supportive when I was a child and got me out doing things (hiking, camping, etc.--the doctor told them get me doing that NOW because I wouldn't be able to when I was older), they never b.s.'ed me into thinking I could do just anything because there are actually some things I can't do. And add to that, too, my feet are degenerating. Even if I can have another surgery (which is unlikely at this point because of money and finding someone who knows what they're doing), I will still in all likelihood be in a wheelchair before I'm 30.

It fucking sucks. And yes, by the way, other things do help and have helped. Some of my friends who are also disabled and do understand how shitty it can be have helped. But inspiration porn (which is all I intended the OP to be about, anyway, by the way )...has never helped. For a lot of reasons.

I've also been depressed since I was 7. It occasionally gets better, but it never quite wants to go away.

[wolfie]

my apologies if it came across that i didn't belive you when you said you have depression.

however, i would like to point out that there are types of depression. consider it like a sliding scale, with numbers 1-3, but with infinite decimal points for the different degrees.

1 is the kind brought on by circumstance. becoming ill, losing a loved one, bullying, etc. that type tends to be more temporary, and can be overcome with time.
2 is the type brought on by abuse. not just someone telling a person the things you listed, but drilling it into their head from a young enough age that it forms as part of their personality. that type of depression is not easy to deal with, and typically required therapy, and maybe medication. years of recovery at best, if ever.
3 is the type of depression caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. it's how you were wired at birth. that type is impossible to fully recover from as it's physically part of you, but it can be aided with meds.

now, i'm not going to place you on the scale. that's not my point, and you can consider yourself on it wherever.


the problem is that when most people approach someone with depression, with inspiration porn or otherwise, it's with the assumption that it's type 1. people like type 1. type 1 is easily treated and can go back to "normal". so when they don't recover because they are type 3, berating them that they are quitters won't help. berating them with "what's your excuse?" won't help.

One thing you left out - there's a very tall hill between type 1 and type 2, with the peak somewhere between 1.01 and 1.99 (differs for each person). A nudge that would help someone on the "1" side of the hill will push someone on the "2" side further down, and (can't recall where I've seen them) being stuck at "2" for a significant period of time will cause chemical changes that result in someone regressing to type "3". "Inspiration porn" is based on the assumption that everyone is a type "1", and is actually harmful to those who aren't. Telling someone with clinical depression to "snap out of it and grow a pair (of metaphorical balls)" is just as useless as telling a double amputee to "snap out of it and grow a pair (of legs)".

[crashhelmet]

the only thing i've seen you say over and over is "weak-minded people". not that people are diffrent, and it would help some and not others. not that it may not of helped you but it could help others. not any examples of someone that's been helped by inspiration porn.
only, and constantly, that "weak minded" people won't change.

edit:

see, from rereading the thread, we are both saying the same thing. but where i'm saying "inspiration porn won't help everyone, so we shouldnt shove it in people's faces", you come across as saying "inspiration porn won't help everyone, but...

Seriously? Are you fucking serious? You once again misquote me to take me out of context? Why don't you post everything I said about that? Here... I'll do it for you.

I can understand where the feelings of being insulted or shamed are coming from, but it's not the intention of these ads. There are too many people out there that think their lives are over because they're disabled or play the "I'm helpless so you have to give me special treatment" disabled card for everything they can get.

For these types of people, I will post these signs and slogans everywhere around them.

edit:

what's more likely to actually inspire someone? an image with "no excuse" slapped on it like
http://www.artmagz.info/wp-content/u.../no-excuse.jpg

or something showing the people behind the disability?
http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2010...abled-artists/

How many of those pictures of paintings would inspire someone without knowing they were painted by someone with a disability?

[crashhelmet]

Once again, you're overstating people's ability to voluntarily choose to be happy. AmbrosiaWriter said it very well a few pages back, but I'll summarize what she said: When you're clinically depressed, it is exceedingly common for you lack the awareness, energy, and willpower to make that conscious decision.

And just to be crystal clear, we're not talking about being a little mopey here.

I know. I know it all too well. The depression I was in caused me to be unaware of the things around me.