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My Mom Being Inconsiderate

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  • #1

    My Mom Being Inconsiderate

    I was out for the Penn State game this weekend and in the car, my sister said something to her boyfriend about going to see A Christmas Carol. My family almost every year goes to see that or The Nutcracker. Since I was in Afghanistan last year, I couldn't go. With college, I wasn't home to go the few years before that. I was looking forward to it this year but no one mentioned seeing a play so I figured we weren't doing it this year. I asked her when they were seeing it and my sister said they were going with our parents and her boyfriend's parents.

    So really, they are going, but just never thought to ask me if I wanted to go. I finally just brought it up with my mom and she's trying to say she didn't think I'd want to go. Why would I? I only enjoy doing it every year. Thanks for even asking me if I want to go. So now she had me looking up for seats and said she could get a seat a few rows behind them. Fuck you. I'm not sitting by myself while everyone else enjoys each other's company.
    Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers
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  • #2
    Wow.

    That is pretty inconsiderate, like what the hell? My family knew I missed doing stuff with them when I went to college so they made sure to ask if I could or wanted to go to certain things, even if they were positive I'd say no (surprised them on occasion!)

    "Oh you can sit a few rows behind us!" - Yeah, that really makes it better. :/ Jeez, I'd be pissed.

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    • #3
      Yegods.

      I know I'd be pissed. Hell, I'm pissed on your behalf. Totally not cool.

      ^-.-^
      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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      • #4
        Yeah, going away for a year or more has some side effects. This is one of them. You are gone for awhile and people kind of forget about you even after you have returned.

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        • #5
          devils advocate:
          maybe they want an opportunity to get to spend time with your sister's boyfriend and his parents? sometimes when couples start getting serious they do little event things with both sets of parents but not necessarily siblings. just a thought.

          posting at 3am so may be illogical.
          All uses of You, You're, and etc are generic unless specified otherwise.

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          • #6
            WTF??! What's so wrong with even asking you??!!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by siead_lietrathua View Post
              devils advocate:
              maybe they want an opportunity to get to spend time with your sister's boyfriend and his parents? sometimes when couples start getting serious they do little event things with both sets of parents but not necessarily siblings. just a thought.
              Except that it's the holidays and the event is something of a family tradition.

              There's just no way that this wasn't inconsiderate and thoughtless. It may have been unintentionally so, but that doesn't change what it was.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                That's horrible, GD.

                I feel for ya.

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                • #9
                  Damn man. =/ That's incredibly sucky. Bloody hell, I'd be damn pissed and hurt in your shoes.

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                  • #10
                    That's horrible. They shouldn't just leave you out just because you were literally unable to come the past few years. You were at school, and then in Afghanistan. Now you are home, and if it's a family tradition they shouldn't leave you out.

                    I think the worst part is when your mom offered to get your tickets sitting away from the group. It's not about the show, it's about the company. Why the heck would you enjoy sitting alone watching your family ahead of you enjoying the show basically without you? I mean, I'm sure the performance will be lovely nonetheless, but douche move on your mom's part.

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                    • #11
                      It's pretty common for her to forget to mention stuff to me. I'm always the last to find out about stuff. Like if we have a party to attend to, she'll ask if I'm ready and of course I'm not. So she'll ask why and acts shocked when I say she never told me there was a party so there's no way I could have known about it. A lot of times she'll try to say I just forgot or didn't listen to her.
                      Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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                      • #12
                        my mum does that too! drives me batty.
                        she never understands why i can't always do stuff on a 12-hour notice.


                        @ andara: i never said what she did was right, just giving a plausible reason. family traditions can change over the years as the members in the family change. so they might have decided to switch it up. would have been polite to ask beforehand, sure.
                        All uses of You, You're, and etc are generic unless specified otherwise.

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                        • #13
                          The separate seat doesn't really fix things, but once the initial mistake was made, what would more nearly work?
                          "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by HYHYBT View Post
                            The separate seat doesn't really fix things, but once the initial mistake was made, what would more nearly work?
                            How about "I'm sorry I completely forgot to ask you to come."?
                            Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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                            • #15
                              I was going to start my own thread for this, but I figured I'd keep the ball rolling on this one.

                              We had Thanksgiving at my aunt's house yesterday. She lives about 30 minutes away from my place. My mom was going to meet us there. I called my mom to ask her what time I needed to be there. She told me to be there by 3pm, since I was supposed to bring an appetizer. She told me that is when appetizers would begin.

                              So $60 and hours later after spending all morning preparing a dip and a fancy vegetable arrangement, they are carving the fucking turkey as soon as I walk in at 3pm on the dot. No phone call, no nothing from my mom asking if I could be there earlier. Luckily, someone else had brought appetizers too, but it was fucking embarassing and a total waste of my time. I switched my plate with my fiance's so I didn't have to sit next to my mom. Yeah, a little immature on my part. But i honestly had nothing nice to say, so I figured if I wasn't sitting next to her I wouldn't have to feign pleasantness when she tried to engage me in conversation. I didn't talk to her for the rest of the night. No apology, no nothing.

                              I'm getting really fucking sick of acting like the responsible one. I was going to ask her if she wanted to go out to lunch with my fiance and future MIL for my MIL's bday on Sunday, but since she has a habit of "not feeling like" going to things at the last minute because she's hungover or whatever, I'm not even going to bother.

                              It sucks to realize that you can't depend on someone for even the simplest things.

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