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  • Not Returning Things

    There are very few material things I put substantial value on. If it's cheap and replaceable, I'm not going to pitch a fit if I lose it, break it, or if it just "dies." There are far more important things to worry about than a DVD, t-shirt, beanie, video game, or a USB cable.

    However...

    If you borrow something from me, with or without my consent, and fail to return it to me, I'll think of you no differently than that of a thief. And that, even if it's only worth a single penny, is one of the things I find most insulting and unforgiving.

    I keep a USB charging cable for my phone at my desk. Cost me about $3 on newegg.com. My office is like a cave inside the heart of our building. Signal in here sucks and it causes our phones to drain quicker than normal because it ups its power to try and boost its signal. In the past, co workers have asked if they could borrow it to charge their phones and I've let them. When I came into work on Monday, the cable was gone. I don't see it at anyone else's desk, so I'm guessing whoever took it, took it home. I have yet to say anything. I'm hoping whoever took it has been on their weekend and hasn't been back in yet. I really don't want to start distrusting my coworkers, but it looks like I will.

    I loaned a friend of mine an acoustic guitar and $80 a few months back on separate occasions. Both were for her son. Her son is taking a guitar class in school and she couldn't afford to buy him one at the time. I happened to have an extra "throw away" (I bought it so that people didn't pick up and fuck with my custom made Taylor) that I paid about $75 for back in 2000. I've gotten more than my money's worth out of it and it still had a great sound, so I lent it out for him to use until she bought him a guitar of his own or he dropped the class from disinterest. He's actually become quite good at playing it and is showing some real talent. The truth of the matter is, I'm perfectly fine letting him keep it. As a musician that believes in supporting other musicians, I'll gladly let him keep this guitar if it keeps him playing. I'm just irked that she hasn't said a single thing to me about it. She hasn't given me the opportunity to tell them they can keep it.

    The request for the $80 came from when her son got a last minute date to homecoming. She had just started a new job and was in that period in between paychecks where she had to make things stretch as far as they could. She asked me with the promise that she would pay me back when she got her first paycheck. They're new to the area and I didn't want her son to miss out on homecoming, so I lent the money. I haven't heard a single peep from her since. I'm not sweating the money because I would've blown it at the bar anyway. Instead, I stayed in one night and didn't go out. Budget balanced. But again, it comes down to the lack of effort to even talk with me about it that I find insulting.

    I shouldn't have to chase someone down to get things back. They should have the courtesy, decency, respect, and honor to return it, or at the very least approach me about it and discuss keeping it a while longer/repaying at a later date.

    As I write this, my phone is down to 65% and I've been in the office for 2 hours. At this rate, it'll be dead before my shift ends. I may actually have to speak up just for the sake of speaking up.
    Some People Are Alive Only Because It's Illegal To Kill Them.

  • #2
    I absolutely hate when people do that. This past summer my friend borrowed my sweater. She was visiting my apartment and it got chilly and she didn't have a coat. So she asked to borrow a sweater. I gave her the least expensive sweater I had that was still warm, which is actually my high school sweater. She doesn't live in the city, but she doesn't live FAR outside the city. She's still technically on the city transit route, but she has YET to bring the sweater back to me. She's had it for about 6 months. Half a year to return a sweater. It wasn't such a big deal in the summer, but it's almost December. (According to her she's wanted to give it back for 5 months now but she just doesn't get in the city. )

    It's so much worse when people take things without asking. I love hearing, "But you let me borrow it BEFORE." Yes, I did. But at that time I knew you had it. This time it just disappeared.

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    • #3
      Think about pens. People steal them all the time... but "steal" implies intent, and most of the time, it's simply a matter of its slipping the person's mind between picking it up and finishing writing that it's not theirs, especially if they don't always buy the same kind. Most USB cables I've seen are similarly similar; it would be incredibly easy not to realize a borrowed one isn't yours until you discover you have two of them, are reminded, or happen to remember it later on, especially if we're talking about the same day.
      "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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      • #4
        Originally posted by HYHYBT View Post
        Think about pens. People steal them all the time... but "steal" implies intent, and most of the time, it's simply a matter of its slipping the person's mind between picking it up and finishing writing that it's not theirs, especially if they don't always buy the same kind. Most USB cables I've seen are similarly similar; it would be incredibly easy not to realize a borrowed one isn't yours until you discover you have two of them, are reminded, or happen to remember it later on, especially if we're talking about the same day.
        I have to disagree with you in this. A pen is something you may pick up and put down countless times a day as you're using it and through the course of the day. it might end up behind your ear, in your pocket, clipped to the papers you were writing on, etc. It becomes fairly easy to forget that it's not yours. I can see that. A USB cable is different.

        In this case, they had to disconnect the cable from my workstation, plug it into theirs, and then plug their phone into it. Once the cable is there, it's there. As I said earlier, I checked the other workstations and do not see my cable plugged into any of them. This means that when they were done for the day, they unplugged it from their workstation and then took it home. It must still be at their house because it hasn't made a re-appearance here.

        Yes, some people can be that forgetful, but the amount of effort involved makes me think it was more inconsideration than forgetfulness.
        Some People Are Alive Only Because It's Illegal To Kill Them.

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        • #5
          I love people who "borrow" stuff from you, then move and lose it/them.

          All of my HIM cds are gone forever, because I loaned them to a friend like three years ago, who moved and "lost" them.

          I no longer loan out clothes to friends of ANY shape or size or reason because one girl stretched the shit out of one of my tanks and got mineral makeup all over it (come on, I wear more makeup than a stripper and I don't get any on my clothes!).

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          • #6
            Originally posted by blas87 View Post
            come on, I wear more makeup than a stripper
            Is that even possible?
            Some People Are Alive Only Because It's Illegal To Kill Them.

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            • #7
              Some days, I get out and about and look in a bathroom mirror and think....lordy, am I myself or a drag queen?

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              • #8
                I only meant that *between plugging the phone in and unplugging it later* it seems like it would be easy not to think about the cable being borrowed... especially if you normally use your own. How does handling it less often than a pen make it easier to keep in the front of your mind when you're not handling it? For that matter, how do you know, without being told, that the cable's owner wants to charge his own phone now and is looking for it?

                (None of which excuses taking it without asking in the first place, though I can also understand, if you're not there and it's not being used by anybody, not seeing any harm in using it since they don't wear out or get used up. "I'll have this back before he comes in, no harm done..." and then it's not.)
                "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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                • #9
                  As a long time gamer..I should have knocked myself over the head a long time ago. I lent my cousin my first edition AD&D books. One I know for a fact landed in a collection of another person (couldn't prove it, because stupid me did not mark it in any way..but I have zero doubt)...the others got tossed out by the persons parent. I was absolutely livid. Sure, I had gotten them free..but they were mine.
                  To be honest..not sure the others were threw out either..I think they got sold to be honest.

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                  • #10
                    I learned as a child not to loan out anything if I wanted to keep it.

                    When I was around 12, I loaned one of my classmates a pink cowgirl hat for her to use as part of a costume (she was appearing in a school play) and it took me forever to get it back.

                    And when I did get it back some weeks later, it was shredded beyond recognition.

                    Her excuse when I asked her what happened to the hat? "My kitten got hold of it."

                    Needless to say, I had cats even then - I knew how they were and point blank told her "Then it should have been put away where the kitten couldn't get to it!" She was also informed then and there that I would not be loaning anything else to her if it was going to be returned to me torn up b/c my Mom didn't have the money to replace stuff like that.

                    She thought becoming my mortal enemy in middle and high school was the answer and badmouthing me to anyone and everyone - NOT. Especially when even her own sister told everybody she was a bitch.

                    That was the last time I loaned out anything to anyone outside my house. Also the last time I invited anyone that I went to school with to my house.

                    Want to avoid conflicts? Don't loan anything to anyone and don't borrow from anyone - I've used this rule for over 30 years and I've been just fine and dandy with it.
                    If life hands you lemons . . . find someone whose life is handing them vodka . . . and have a party - Ron "Tater Salad" White

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                    • #11
                      I'm still waiting for $185 to come back to me. Loaned it to a friend who lost his car keys while helping me move (emergency locksmiths are expensive here) and since me and a chick he was fucking at the time are no longer friends (I got tired of being part of her trainwreck life) it looks like I'm not getting that money back. There's an excuse every time I ask him if he has a bit extra to pay at least a part of the money back. Now it's gotten to the point he just ignores my txt.

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