Refusing to explain statements/arguments

[HYHYBT]

I run into this *all the time* online: in a discussion, someone will make a point or a connection or whatever, or will object to one I've made, and if asked "why do you get b from a?" or "why does my argument not work?" or anything of the "please explain your reasoning behind that" variety, will, instead of answering the question, merely repeat what they already said in a wordier manner. When asked again for an *explanation,* even if the request comes with a polite clarification of the difference between that and what they did, they almost invariably will either do it again but even longer, or else say "I already did."

As a deliberately silly hypothetical example...
"Since it's December, I have to paint my mailbox orange."
"What does the one have to do with the other?"
"Well, November ended almost a week ago, and the thing the postman puts my bills in is still black."
"Yes, I get that. What does the time of year have to do with anything, and why would you want an orange one?"
"Well, because it's the color between yellow and red."
"Yes, thank you, I know what color orange is. But how does its being December mean you have to use that color on your mailbox?"
"I've explained that enough times already! You're not even listening, just keep repeating the question you *** ***** ****!!!!!!! I've wasted enough time on you! If you can't understand plain English, that's your problem!"

But I run into this fairly regularly, on a variety of subjects. Now, here comes the question: WHY?

[SongsOfDragons]

Maybe their train of thought is 'DUUH?! Isn't it obvious?'

I also feel your pain my friend; I come across this a lot too.

[Andara Bledin]

It's worth noting that at least a few people who do this are probably like me: and the "duh, how can you not know this" factor isn't so much them being douchebags as them being in the same 'not getting it' position as the asker.

I've fallen into the trap of not understanding why the other person doesn't understand what I'm trying to convey, because in my mind it's crystal clear and as obvious as the sun on a clear day at noon. It's extremely frustrating for both sides and difficult to step back enough to get to the point of disconnect.

The rest are probably just idiots.

^-.-^

[Rageaholic]

^^^

What you said. On the other side, it's extremely frusturating to try to explain something and have the other person not get it, when it should be blatantly obvious. For instance, wanting to slow down when you see a cop car should be obvious, but some people are a) too literal minded or b) one of those assholes who have to argue everything, even when it's not necessary.

BUT with that said, the people who post something that makes no sense and then treat you like an idiot for not unnderstanding their ways are annoying. You ask a question, they fail to answer it and then act like you are the one who's stupid for not understanding. Annoying.

[HYHYBT]

Ah, but even though it seems obvious to you, you *can* give reasons for slowing down when you see a police car: maybe you were speeding and are hoping they haven't noticed. If not, maybe their presence indicates there's an accident nearby, or they're dealing with another driver and may be standing in the road, etc.

You wouldn't just repeat the statement "you should slow down when you see a police car" with synonyms substituted for the main words and call that an explanation, would you?

[BlaqueKatt]

You wouldn't just repeat the statement "you should slow down when you see a police car" with synonyms substituted for the main words and call that an explanation, would you?

this posted by another user may help explain a bit

Institute for the study of neurotypicals

the link is to the theory of mind section

NT Theory of Mind = Everyone thinks like me, except when shown to be otherwise.

Autistic Theory of Mind = Everyone thinks differently from me -- vastly and mysteriously -- except when shown to be otherwise.

[HYHYBT]

this posted by another user may help explain a bit

Institute for the study of neurotypicals

the link is to the theory of mind section

Interesting. I'm not sure how to use that to find out how a specific other person is thinking... and now I'm stuck overthinking the candy in the box. However a four year old might do, I'd fail miserably for trying to consider whether the person may have been given information while outside, or perhaps even before the test began, or if, knowing it was a test of some sort, they *expected* it to have been moved.

In a sense, it reminds me of what I hated most about geometry in 10th grade: the way we had to do proofs. Even something as basic as the commutative property of addition had to be set off explicitly as a separate step. (Why the **** after hating that so much I majored in computer science is a mystery to me.)

But I suspect, in some cases, it's because they don't know themselves what (if anything valid) goes in between. Especially because, while not always the case, usually I run into this where it seems more like someone has started with a conclusion they will hold no matter what and then jammed anything they can find underneath for support, whether it quite reaches or not.

[gremcint]

Actually I find this happens constantly and it drives me up the wall.
In fact it happened in one my threads here pretty recently. I asked a reasonable question a poster responded with something completely baffling and then refused to explain at all.