"I Don't Care!"

[Hyena Dandy]

I avoided making this thread (I think) after 9/11, after the Aurora shooting, after the mall shooting, but it's getting to the point I'm sick of this.

I am sick of how people on the internet, or at least the parts that I see, always have a similar reaction to tragedies. That they don't care, and that it's wrong for anyone to care or want to do something. Frequently I see "It doesn't personally effect you, it can't matter to YOU."

I do give a fuck. I'm sad when people die. I'm not lying to make myself look good. I'm not trying to show off or get admirers by giving a fuck when people die.

And I'm not stupid, either. I'm not a mindless sheep who doesn't care about really IMPORTANT things like Gaza/Hiroshima/Holocaust. I do care about those things. A lot more than the people who accuse me of not caring, as they tend to be the ones first to make holocaust jokes when the option arises. I'm sick of it. I really am.

[HYHYBT]

I don't think I've ever run into someone as you describe. "Worse things happen every day and don't get reported," yes, but never someone who says nobody should care.

[Andara Bledin]

I've actually run across the type who seem to think that there's a limit on how much concern a person can have.

Where they'll claim that it's stupid to care about some psycho shooting up a school when there are psychos crashing planes into buildings, as if it's not possible to care appropriately about the latter if you care at all about the former.

^-.-^

[Nekojin]

For situations like school shootings, I often come across as cold and uncaring. But that's just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve - I'm interested in discussing the whys of the shootings, and ways to potentially prevent them in the future. But that doesn't mean that I don't HAVE a heart.

[Jaden]

I don't think I've ever run into someone as you describe. "Worse things happen every day and don't get reported," yes, but never someone who says nobody should care.

Oh, they exist. They usually carry around copies of "Anthem" and talk about the genius of Ayn Rand everywhere they go.

I also find the "worse stuff happens every day and doesn't get reported" argument faulty. Just because it doesn't get reported doesn't get reported doesn't mean it shouldn't get reported.

[TheHuckster]

I also find the "worse stuff happens every day and doesn't get reported" argument faulty. Just because it doesn't get reported doesn't get reported doesn't mean it shouldn't get reported.

The argument I hear more often its more along the lines of, "People are dying every day, so why do we put extra attention to this small group of people who also died today?"

And I find that argument so flawed and stupid, I've come to block those comments from my mind. The job of the media is not to report every single tragedy that happened in the world on a given day. Its job is to report extraordinary events. What happened yesterday was very extraordinary, and people are sickened by it because the shooter not only chose the most innocent of victims, but did so for seemingly no reason what so ever.

Yes, murders happen all the time, and the closer to home they are, the more tragic one feels towards the victims. If we had to take as much time to grieve over every death that happens in the world as we did yesterday to the school victims, I think we'd be the most depressed society in history. But that doesn't mean when the average person stops to think about how much violence and tragedy there is in the world, they don't feel some level of grief.

[BlaqueKatt]

I am sick of how people on the internet, or at least the parts that I see, always have a similar reaction to tragedies. That they don't care, and that it's wrong for anyone to care or want to do something. Frequently I see "It doesn't personally effect you, it can't matter to YOU."

These types of people I try to avoid, they are either very self-centered, or borderline sociopaths. If human suffering doesn't bother you, on some level, you aren't human.

If we had to take as much time to grieve over every death that happens in the world as we did yesterday to the school victims, I think we'd be the most depressed society in history. But that doesn't mean when the average person stops to think about how much violence and tragedy there is in the world, they don't feel some level of grief.

And this is why the smartest people are usually the most depressed, they see how horrible the world can be,and realize the wasted potential of humanity.

[Rageaholic]

I hate the ones who act like everyone else doesn't care enough unless they make some grandiose activitist efforts. Every time a tradegy like this happens, there's someone who has to get on their high horse to slam the evil world for being so selfish and allowing such evil to take place. As if somehow I'm to blame for the fact that some asshole decided to shoot up a school. Um no I didn't pull the trigger, I didn't even know the asshole so why should I share the blame?

Like it's not depressing enough that we live in a world like this, we have to all feel guilty and ashamed for just going on with our lives and realizing that some stuff is out of our control. I really really hate that emotionally manipulative crap.

[TheHuckster]

I hate the ones who act like everyone else doesn't care enough unless they make some grandiose activitist efforts. Every time a tradegy like this happens, there's someone who has to get on their high horse to slam the evil world for being so selfish and allowing such evil to take place. As if somehow I'm to blame for the fact that some asshole decided to shoot up a school. Um no I didn't pull the trigger, I didn't even know the asshole so why should I share the blame?

Like it's not depressing enough that we live in a world like this, we have to all feel guilty and ashamed for just going on with our lives and realizing that some stuff is out of our control. I really really hate that emotionally manipulative crap.

Agreed. The folks who say these kinds of things are, to me, prejudiced in their own way. People react to things differently, both inside and out, and you can't determine how one feels by their lack of public sentiment. When I read that this happened, I was taken aback, greatly upset, and pondering just what makes a person do something like this. But I did so introvertedly and didn't make a public expression of grief on Facebook or any place about it. Does that make me a bad person? I certainly don't think so. I'm heartbroken over what happened in Connecticut, probably just as much as the people who did express themselves. I just react differently to tragic events than other people do.

One thing I really hate is how some people tend to compare how people react to one event as opposed to another. I admit I've taken some events, such as 9/11 and Oklahoma City, with more heartbreak than the shooting in CT. And in turn I took the events in CT with more heartbreak than the mall shooting in Oregon a few days prior. Yet some people would condemn me for thinking in such a way because one death should be as heartbreaking as thousands of deaths.

And to that I say fuck them. I can't control how I react to events, and I'm not going to manufacture crocodile tears to make every tragic event appear equally heartbreaking to me. I will say that I do sympathize with every individual who lost a family member from each of these kinds of tragedies at the same level, but when thinking about the tragedy as a whole, I might have different levels of shock and grief depending on the circumstances behind them.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense. I'm currently lacking caffeine and I'm not completely thinking clearly at the moment.

[Rageaholic]

And to that I say fuck them. I can't control how I react to events, and I'm not going to manufacture crocodile tears to make every tragic event appear equally heartbreaking to me. I will say that I do sympathize with every individual who lost a family member from each of these kinds of tragedies at the same level, but when thinking about the tragedy as a whole, I might have different levels of shock and grief depending on the circumstances behind them.

And if I really was going to let every tragedy effect be greatly, I would be a mess. It's not healthy to get worked up over things I can't control.

[Nekojin]

And if I really was going to let every tragedy effect be greatly, I would be a mess. It's not healthy to get worked up over things I can't control.

Precisely.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of children dying every single day around the world due to neglect and abuse. Hyper-focusing on THIS ONE TRAGEDY is missing the forest for the trees, and can cause people to overreact and/or misjudge where the problems lie.

[Jaden]

That's part of why I am a mess. Every time I read a story or hear about anything of the sort, I'm basically just in perpetual emotional pain for an extended period of time. I don't know whether to cherish that part of me, for being able to identify so closely with my fellow humans, or to scorn it for making me heartsick whenever I hear about another person in pain.

[Pixilated]

If we're talking about unfeeling people ... I've got a Facebook page and I've added numerous groups over time. In terms of religion, I've got a couple of fairly left-leaning Christian groups, I've got Wiccan and Pagan groups, and I had -- had -- three or four atheist/nonbeliever groups.

So far I've "unfriended" two of the latter, the most recent because, directly after the Connecticut shootings, they were raving about how "disgusting" it was to be asking people to forward prayer postings.There is no God!! Why do people continue to perpetrate this nonsense! The fact that the Connecticut shootings could even happen PROVES THERE IS NO GOD!!! SO STOP WITH THE DISGUSTING AND HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT ABOUT PRAYERS!!!!

So ... the shock and grief of the survivors, their friends and neighbours, comes second to your determination to jam your beliefs -- or lack of same -- down everybody's throat? The fact that belief in a deity might be ALL that is getting these people through today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and a lot of days after that, is irrelevant compared to your absolute knowledge of T*H*E T*R*U*T*H*?

Yeah, I was a bit pissed off. I told them most of the above, as well as the fact they are just the flip side of the folks at Westboro, and then unfriended them. I did the same with the first atheist group under similar circumstances, although there hadn't been a horrific tragedy at that time ... I was just fed up with their smug, condescending, judgemental attitude towards people who DO have a religious belief.

I don't mean to belittle atheists in general, so if there are any reading this, please don't take this personally.

And the irony is, I did and still do consider most of the group's questions to be legitimate. What I couldn't tolerate was their contempt and sneering at people who do believe and are willing to keep that belief even in the face of something as horrific as the Connecticut shootings.

[Nekojin]

I hear where you're coming from, Pixilated. It would help considerably if people on all points of the spectrum would show a little decorum, and respect others' right to have their own beliefs, no matter how "unorthodox" we may think those beliefs are. You're absolutely right that those atheist people were being jerks, to much the same degree as the Christians (like Bobby Fischer) who are using the shooting as a reason to Soapbox about getting God in schools. They're more interested in pushing their agenda than anything else.

[TheHuckster]

If we're talking about unfeeling people ... I've got a Facebook page and I've added numerous groups over time. In terms of religion, I've got a couple of fairly left-leaning Christian groups, I've got Wiccan and Pagan groups, and I had -- had -- three or four atheist/nonbeliever groups.

So far I've "unfriended" two of the latter, the most recent because, directly after the Connecticut shootings, they were raving about how "disgusting" it was to be asking people to forward prayer postings.There is no God!! Why do people continue to perpetrate this nonsense! The fact that the Connecticut shootings could even happen PROVES THERE IS NO GOD!!! SO STOP WITH THE DISGUSTING AND HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT ABOUT PRAYERS!!!!

So ... the shock and grief of the survivors, their friends and neighbours, comes second to your determination to jam your beliefs -- or lack of same -- down everybody's throat? The fact that belief in a deity might be ALL that is getting these people through today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and a lot of days after that, is irrelevant compared to your absolute knowledge of T*H*E T*R*U*T*H*?

Yeah, I was a bit pissed off. I told them most of the above, as well as the fact they are just the flip side of the folks at Westboro, and then unfriended them. I did the same with the first atheist group under similar circumstances, although there hadn't been a horrific tragedy at that time ... I was just fed up with their smug, condescending, judgemental attitude towards people who DO have a religious belief.

I nearly unfriended a long-term friend on Facebook for that exact reason last night, and was thinking of making a "Things I Hate" thread about this topic.

What I most hate about those comments is the hypocrisy of them saying stuff like "It doesn't help anything, they are still gone" when their very comments condemning religion are just as unhelpful and useless. And the only thing it accomplishes is some hurt feelings and unneeded bitterness between people who are already feeling shitty.

When people express their sorrow for the events which happened that happen to include "prayer", "god", or "heaven" they're highlighted by some people as "deplorable messages based on lies." To me it's analogous to going to a random funeral service and speaking those same messages to the mourners. And if you ask me it's just as mean-spirited and hateful to condemn believers for expressing their compassion toward the victims and their families with some spirituality and faith in mind as it is to condemn the victims themselves for being "casualties of getting rid of prayer from schools" and that other bullshit.