"I am in need of space."

[Eddie the 'Ead]

That is what my girlfriend (or, ex as it seems now) said to me just a few days before Halloween. She had stopped talking to me late September/early October, and when I finally had enough and asked her about it, she uttered the aforementioned line. Then, I had finally had enough, and just last night decided to change my Facebook status to "single", as it's been almost three months (I know I shouldn't have waited so long, my mistake). That SAME NIGHT she changes her status to "In a Relationship". Whether she had fancied someone else, or just decided to break up with me without telling me, and without changing her relationship status, I don't know. All I can say is, good riddance!

[HYHYBT]

The gradual method of breaking up: just don't see somebody until they catch on?

I have nothing but sympathy to offer.

[blas87]

I hate the "I need space" or the even worse "We should take a break" lines. It's almost always a bunch of bullshit, someone just too cowardly to break up with the other person.

Never let someone leave you hanging. If someone needs time, they don't need weeks and months. Simple as that.

[Greenday]

I can understand the "I need space" line if that's what the person actually means. But if you want to break up with someone, you need to be clear about it and not leave them hanging. Ridiculous crap.

[protege]

Let's see, what other lines have been used on me? Oh yes...

"It's not you, it's me."
"Let's be friends..."
"I need my space..."

All of which have been used on me, usually on the 2nd or 3rd date. Seriously, if you don't want to date me, don't bother. Don't try to sugarcoat things and don't waste my time.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

The one that got me was the end of my first marriage. She said that it was over and that we should get a divorce.

Sadly the divorce took two fragging years to get through because she kept moving and jurisdiction issues arose until she finally settled down somewhere long enough to allow it to be done.

She gave me all sorts of reasons (most of them blaming me for the issues) but in the end the truth came out. She was moving around all over the place because she was following her girlfriend.

And yes I mean it in *that* way. I was her last attempt to sort out her own sexual identity.

I think I would have been far less hurt if she had come out and say "Gee, I'm sorry this isn't working out...but I'm a lesbian..." than what I went through after she pretty much devastated my ego and my self-esteem by blaming everything on my issues.

And I'll admit that I had a few...but even my therapist said that my issues were not that bad. I was in therapy and depressed and on Zoloft for a year and a half until a mutual friend of mine showed me pictures of the wedding. Well this wasn't a real wedding since same-sex marriages were not yet legal where she was living but it was a handfasting ceremony with another woman.

Snapped me right out of my depression. Went from self-doubt and self-loathing to angry as all hell.

[HEMI6point1]

As a car guy, this makes me angry....

Wrong area, sorry....

[Ginger Tea]

Although I know it's just an oops post reply instead of new thread and edit.

Part of me want's to know how that post would have gone down if it was about a "car guy" Does bumblebee get jealous when Sam drives another car kinda way.

Although if I were to look, I'm sure that slashfick has already been writen and acted out with sock puppets.

[MadMike]

Years ago, I was with this girl who broke up with me because she "wasn't ready for a relationship." I later found out it was really because she wanted to screw all my male friends -- possibly my female ones to. One of them said she didn't like the way she was looking at her.

I was hurt, and someone bitter, but I calmed myself down, and we tried staying friends. We had a nice talk, and everything was OK -- or so I thought. A couple of days later, I had a party at my apartment, and she ignored me the whole night, except to complain about how cold it was (there was a problem with the heat and it was a record cold day in December), and to ask me for money for cigarettes, which I gave her like a dumbass. But the final straw was when I left the room for a minute, and I came back and she was sitting on my one friend's lap. I was about ready to kick his ass, until I found out that he had not encouraged her in any way, she just did it. Worse yet, he had a girlfriend, who found out about it, and flipped out on him for it. So he wasn't any happier with her than I was.

I had tried to be nice, and had given her a second chance. She blew it. After each and every one of my friends rejected her, and she tried to come crawling back to me a few months later, I did not give her a third chance, nor was I as nice as I was the other time.

Last I heard, she ended up with some abusive jackass, and pregnant with twins.

[HYHYBT]

Never let someone leave you hanging. If someone needs time, they don't need weeks and months. Simple as that.

I can think of situations where it might make sense, particularly if you're not living together. But they're more like "I just don't have time to see you until X is straightened out." A very ill relative, for example.

[crashhelmet]

One of my old roommates had broken up with a girl, telling her that he didn't have time to see her because he was going to be too busy playing video games. He told her that between Final Fantasy VII, a new Legend of Zelda game (either Ocarina or Majora's Mask, I don't remember which), and some other game, he just didn't have time for a social life. The sad thing is he meant every word of it.

A few weeks later, we're in a mall and find this t-shirt that says "A Girlfriend Is No Substitute For A Playstation" and laugh our asses off as he buys it. he decides to put it on then and there and I kid you not, we run into the girl about 10 minutes later. She reads the shirt, gets pissed off, and storms off. We died laughing again.

[kaycivine]

A few weeks later, we're in a mall and find this t-shirt that says "A Girlfriend Is No Substitute For A Playstation" and laugh our asses off as he buys it. he decides to put it on then and there and I kid you not, we run into the girl about 10 minutes later. She reads the shirt, gets pissed off, and storms off. We died laughing again.

I think if I was dumped for that reason, and ran into the guy doing that, I would laugh my ass off and offer to be friends from that.

[Mr Hero]

I hate the "just friends" line so so much.

Recently I had asked someone out for a second date. I get that line. Gee thanks, for not even giving me much of a chance.

And back in 2011 I eventually broke up with a girl who towards the end of our relationship kept canceling our dates with more frequency. What's funny is that in November, I figured out I only had enough money for a date with her or Skyrim, but not both. She canceled, I bought Skyrim. No regrets because I've spent more time with Skyrim than with her.

[the_std]

I hate the "just friends" line so so much.

Recently I had asked someone out for a second date. I get that line. Gee thanks, for not even giving me much of a chance.

Sometimes, a girl has to listen to her instincts and intuition about a guy, even if she hasn't known him for very long. I once turned down a second date with a guy, only to see his picture in the paper three weeks later about him beating his then-girlfriend to a pulp. And, while I'm not suggesting that she turned you down because you're a potential abuser, sometimes there's just something... Off... And you have to go with your gut.

Think of it this way... Would you prefer she'd turned you down now, after the first date, or strung you along on a series of dates and gotten your hopes up, only to shoot you down later? The girl is in a no-win situation there. If she doesn't think there's any chemistry between the two of you, she's either a jerk now for not giving you a chance, or a jerk later for stringing you along.

[TheHuckster]

Sometimes, a girl has to listen to her instincts and intuition about a guy, even if she hasn't known him for very long. I once turned down a second date with a guy, only to see his picture in the paper three weeks later about him beating his then-girlfriend to a pulp. And, while I'm not suggesting that she turned you down because you're a potential abuser, sometimes there's just something... Off... And you have to go with your gut.

Think of it this way... Would you prefer she'd turned you down now, after the first date, or strung you along on a series of dates and gotten your hopes up, only to shoot you down later? The girl is in a no-win situation there. If she doesn't think there's any chemistry between the two of you, she's either a jerk now for not giving you a chance, or a jerk later for stringing you along.

I am of the belief that chemistry isn't something you can really figure out on the first date alone. Especially since both of you are on your best behavior, you're presumably not giving away any big secrets, and for some people, you are so nervous you just aren't "yourself" during the date, and you need to allow time for each person to be comfortable with eachother before you can really assess how compatible you both are to eachother. The first date you can gauge how physically attracted you are to eachother, but even that is something that can vary depending on how well you know them.

There are obviously some exceptions to this rule. I know I have some immediate deal breakers which if discovered during the date will mean I decline a second date, but if there's something that might not be my cup of tea, but isn't a show-stopper, I'm not going to use that against them and will definitely consider a second date.

I personally know a few people, both male and female, who are so picky they hardly give anyone a chance. These are the people who have daily posts on my Facebook news feed complaining all the time about their love lives and how they "can't find anyone" but when you delve into just what turned them away from their dates, you realize just how petty and shallow they are.