Party Woes

[Glados]

A month ago hubby and I reached out to a bunch of friend to see if anyone was interested in getting together for some gaming. Here is the timeline from then until now:

Nov 30 Asked around to gauge interest. Over 10 people want to come.

Dec 7 Set date for Dec 29th so that people can begin checking work schedules. Everyone agrees to the date then goes quiet.

Dec 21st Begin asking for final headcount so that food/drinks can be arranged.

Dec 28th Asked again for confirmation of who is coming.

Dec 29th Two respond yes and two respond no and only 4 hours to go leaving us with 8-10 people in question.

This leaves me in a tight spot. I either end up buying more food and drinks than we need and having a bunch go to waste or buying less and having 12 people show up. I am so frustrated that people cannot take the 2 seconds to call/text/email a response. I am worried that all the non responses lost interest and don't want to tell me. I would rather know and cancel the party than spend my hard earned money and waste a day waiting for people who do not show.

As of now, I only know for sure that 1 is arriving on time and 1 late who will bring a spouse. Let me ask all of you intelligent people...what would you do?

I am considering posting a group message to all the invited on FB letting them know that it may be a small gathering based on actual RSVPs so that they can opt out before making the drive.

[crashhelmet]

I'd start with the group message. Herd mentality may generate interest again if they see that others have committed.

[gremcint]

make it potluck?

just don't promise cake glados or they'll never believe you

[mikoyan29]

I've been the host of the Super Bowl party for a long time (at least 10 years) and I never know who is going to show up. I've pretty much said that I will provide the main dishes and people will have to bring other stuff. The problem is that I have no idea how much of the main dish to make because very few people will RSVP. Last year I didn't do it and I'm tempted to do the same this year.

So basically I feel your pain. It's alot of work to come up with one dish (I try to do a dish based on the teams playing so there's a research element too). Sometimes it feels like too much work for people to not take the minute it woudl take to say "Yes or no".

[Glados]

I ended up deciding to order pizza as that could be chosen once people had arrived. Hubby and I made several kinds of salsa for snacks. We kept the cost low with snacks and drinks only. We also only bought things that we will eat so as not to waste the food if not enough people showed. It ended up being a very small and very late gathering.

I am very glad to know that it is not just my friends who do not RSVP.

[telecom_goddess]

That seems to be a growing trend, people who do not RSVP. It's like they are just too lazy, and it's disturbing.

[BlaqueKatt]

That seems to be a growing trend, people who do not RSVP. It's like they are just too lazy, and it's disturbing.

yup, invited 25 people to my birthday party(planned on october 28th-to be held second week of january), by last week I had 4 replies, then someone else planned a party for the week before and got more replies, so I cancelled mine(as another of our mutual friends group is planning her birthday party for the week after mine), and got verbally blasted for "being too selfish", because I was upset that she decided to usurp my party that had been planned TWO MONTHS PRIOR, and that "this stuff happens to everyone, get over it", um yeah, you two do it to me EVERY SINGLE YEAR!, but that's apparently ok, as long as they get their parties, and I haven't had any kind of birthday party since I was 21(for the record, I'm turning 37).

[telecom_goddess]

yup, invited 25 people to my birthday party(planned on october 28th-to be held second week of january), by last week I had 4 replies, then someone else planned a party for the week before and got more replies, so I cancelled mine(as another of our mutual friends group is planning her birthday party for the week after mine), and got verbally blasted for "being too selfish", because I was upset that she decided to usurp my party that had been planned TWO MONTHS PRIOR, and that "this stuff happens to everyone, get over it", um yeah, you two do it to me EVERY SINGLE YEAR!, but that's apparently ok, as long as they get their parties, and I haven't had any kind of birthday party since I was 21(for the record, I'm turning 37).

That sucks Is it possible to just combine the three into one big one?

[BlaqueKatt]

That sucks Is it possible to just combine the three into one big one?

Last time I tried that-only child(birthday a week after mine-I'll call her L), 100% took over. Birthday cake had her name only, did stuff she wanted(and I hated, including music), and she got presents from everyone-I didn't even get a "happy birthday", because and I quote-"yours was last week, this is L's day, stop being selfish."

Mind you this was after L had convinced me to combine mine with hers, and after she had already had 4 SEPARATE PARTIES that week.(one for parents, one for grandparents, one with just boyfriend, and one with just friends-the one we "combined" was friends+family, and yes the people going to more than one party had to bring a gift to each party.)

[SongsOfDragons]

Here I was thinking that only children did bitchy things RE parties... -_- *hugs BK*

We keep organising gatherings and such, but invariably the people who professed their interest before either never bother to answer or give shit excuses. Rarely do decent real excuses come up. We never get invited back to others' gatherings either. I haven't been able to get excited about a friend's pregnancy either, because we only saw them once a year if best while they threw parties and gaming gatherings once a month or so - now we're not going to see them at all.

Selfish, you bet. But it's how I'm perceiving the situation and no-one has told me of any problems. I'm on the verge of saying fuck 'em all, we have a couple of reliable friends...housemate is determined to slog on with the endless crushing disappointment.