Whatever happened to respectful disagreement?

[Jaden]

This isn't really about anything or anybody specific here, it's just about a general problem I have with debate and opinions these days.

It seems like people can no longer respectfully disagree with somebody. If a person does or believes something that you personally disagree with, they are a person to be scorned. I find it rather aggravating. Even the stylings of this very forum betray this attitude ("Things I Hate" - I'm not criticizing, just pointing out that "hate" is a very strong word that's currently being used to describe fairly mundane things, including this very topic, but I understand forum titles aren't places to get into subtleties of language ).

I'm just annoyed with the use of hyperbolic language to describe, well, anything that happens that one eprsonally disagrees with. It can't just be "Well, I think they're wrong, but I can see where they're coming from." No, that other person has to "make me sick" or make you "not want to be on this planet anymore" or "destroy your faith in the human race" etc. etc.

Some things are worthy of that language, and I'm not saying that we should ignore the minor injustices of the world. I'm just saying that using the same language that one uses to describe the Sandy Hook atrocity to describe, say...well, I can't really think of a good anaology without looking like I'm calling somebody out when I'm really not meaning to. I was just going to pick some random thing from Social Woes, but then it would look like I was saying people's reactions to whatever given thread were unwarranted, which, true or not, isn't my intention. I just want people to think about how they react to things, that's all. It weakens an argument and makes it impossible for me to take you seriously when you describe something not really all that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things as a horrific example of mankind's slide into degeneracy.

[BlaqueKatt]

It can't just be "Well, I think they're wrong, but I can see where they're coming from." No, that other person has to "make me sick" or make you "not want to be on this planet anymore" or "destroy your faith in the human race" etc. etc.

The reason for this^not being common anymore is too many people live in "echo chambers", where they don't ever hear any kind of dissenting opinion, and aren't ever put in the position of having to understand another person's viewpoint. I've actually been told on this forum when someone said "i just don't understand how someone can think that way", when I tried to explain the other side(because I generally do try),I was accused of holding that point of view-which I very much didn't-I never said I held those views, as a matter of fact I specifically said "some people feel this way, I am not among them"

I've had people unfriend me on facebook for "shattering their echo chamber" with a single, well phrased, arguement that was backed up with evidence from various credible sources-when their source was 100% inaccurate(to the point their reference refuted their claim*, but they didn't even bother to check)

*It was some article on "chemtrails" that claimed the US government held a "recently issued" patent for a weather controlling machine and they caused hurricane Katrina via chemtrails. I looked up the patent, from 1942, which was a patent for the process of "cloud seeding", which has been proven to be minimally effective. Also refered to a NASA report that explained why the amount of vapor trails left in the sky is higher now than it was in the 1940's(any guesses as to why?, yup, more air travel, and jet engines weren't that common), claiming the report said that NASA was responsible for chemtrails, and were dispensing "mind control" chemicals.

[Nyoibo]

I find it hard to respectfully disagree with people on a lot of subjects where the reason for the disagreement is wilful ignorance, take creationists for example, or where people object to something for no real reason like same-sex marriage, I cannot have respect for those stances and many more.

[bara]

Another issue, which may have caused or be an effect of the 'echo chamber', is the fact that some people have had certain beliefs for so long that they are actually afraid to even consider they might be wrong.

This is nothing new either especially from the religious fanatics. This rather famous guy for instance. Had a few problems with the church. Interestingly, he was right.

[Rageaholic]

It depends on the topic. There are some issues I feel very strongly about. I used to be able to respect other views, but after hearing the same bullshit arguements, that respect diminishes.

[Andara Bledin]

I'm with Nyoibo.

Some stances are built on willful ignorance and bigotry and nothing more, and I cannot find it it me to respectfully disagree with those who would choose to hold such, particularly on the internet where the ignorant have the ability and resources to inform themselves.

However, things that are less concrete that can't be determined with facts or that involve opinions are another matter.

^-.-^

[Duelist925]

To touch on the language aspect of things, theres a Lous CK joke along those lines thats illustrated wonderfully in this Zenpencils comic.

Like it says--we reach for the top shelf right away. If we disagree with someone, we reach for the strongest response right away, rather than a more measured approach.

[mikoyan29]

Personally I think the disrespectful disagreements come from the people at the extremes but it seems like it is getting pushed towards people in the middle. Part of it starts with the way news and opinions are conveyed these days. Compare William F. Buckley to Ann Coulter sometime. I disagreed with Buckley many times but he made his point in a pretty intelligent fashion. Ann Coulter can't get two words out of her mouth without saying "liberals suck". Another aspect is that you have a degree of anonymity on the net, so you can pretty much say whatever comes to mind.

[Jaden]

Hate is an atrocity.

I will not defend somebody who is bigoted against...well, anybody. Those who are racists or homophobes, I agree, they should be put down and their opinions should not be looked at with the respect due other, less ignorant, more informed opinions. My problem is simply when people treat every opposing opinion, not only as though it was an obvious fact and anybody who disagrees with them is an idiot, but also as though it's the worst thing anybody has ever done.

I think Duelist/Louis C. K. put it really well - people go for the top shelf instead of taking a more measured approach, and, except in instances of actual atrocity, like hate crimes, mass shootings, etc. going for top shelf attacks tends to make a person look ridiculous to me when they refer to, say, a person leaving a bad tip (who I would call a garden variety jackass, or maybe just a bitter person having a horrible day in need of a hug, depending on the circumstance) with the same language that one would refer to Fred Phelps. And I see people doing it all the time, and it annoys the hell out of me, because it both devalues the power of words and makes the person seem whiny/melodramatic/self-parodic/whatever even though they very well may have a point buried below their hyperbole.

[HYHYBT]

Some views I find impossible to respect. But there are people who hold those views I do respect, and even dealing with the others, acting in a respectful manner whether you feel that way or not is much less likely to shut down communication entirely than ranting at them and calling names.