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We've never met, but I want a romantic relationship with you.

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  • #1

    We've never met, but I want a romantic relationship with you.

    I have no idea what to call them, but there are 'females' (maybe, they claim they are at least) on facebook that approach single men (and even those tagged as in a relationship) and heap praise on them..telling them how much they want a romantic relationship with them..even though it is the first time the two have ever talked. They do everything they can to get you to email them, so they can send you a picture of 'them' (I have my doubts), and a link to..you guessed it ... a porn site. A pay porn site.

    First I am in a relationship...I am happy in that relationship. I would not trade that relationship if Mila Jovovich, Pauley Perrette, and Scarlett Johansson all wanted me and were willing to SHARE...so these 'ladies' can go jump in a lake. Second, I don't visit FREE pornsites..why in the world would I PAY for the privilage? Last, if it isn't a pornsite thing it is a "I need a greencard" thing or some scam. Yeah that just gets me all tingly and excited. Sorry .. had to rant. Things like this IRK me and I get at least one a month from some "Hey I am hot come pay to see my pictures!" facebook request. I wish they would just LEAVE ME ALONE!
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  • #2
    I just met you,
    And this is crazy,
    But I'm a pornstar,
    So pay me maybe...

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    • #3
      Pornbot spammers.

      I don't know what they did before the internet, but they've been going strong since the BBS days.

      ^-.-^
      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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      • #4
        Originally posted by LewisLegion View Post
        I just met you,
        And this is crazy,
        But I'm a pornstar,
        So pay me maybe...
        I give this two thumbs up

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        • #5
          I guess Ive been fortunate to avoid these spammers thus far. I hope my luck holds.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Mytical View Post
            I would not trade that relationship if Mila Jovovich, Pauley Perrette, and Scarlett Johansson all wanted me and were willing to SHARE
            I am single, so if that ever happens to you, please, please send them to me.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Jaden View Post
              I am single, so if that ever happens to you, please, please send them to me.
              I vaguely resemble Pauley Perrette-My coworkers refer to me as "Abbey", due to being "goth chick in a lab coat"....not as tattooed as the character, but I do have an Erlenmeyer flask under a heart(the heart has a banner that reads "Science") tattoo......also I'm old.....*sigh*
              Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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              • #8
                These hot Russian women keep email my boss because they saw his profile and want to hook up with him.

                Never mind that he never had a profile for them to see and has been dead for several years...

                ^-.-^
                Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                • #9
                  Another one from my blog.

                  I had someone send me a Facebook Message (before I closed it to only my friends and purged anyone that I didn't know personally). So I go to see who sent me a message and it was some random spambot sending me to a website tht was all but screaming at me "Double the size of your penis!"

                  So I hit the online form you were suppose to use for any questions and posted the following.

                  Dear sir,

                  You are attempting to sell me these pills that which if they do as you advertise them to do, would double the size of my penis when I take just one of these pills.

                  Further research into the nature of the offer you're giving me is that for the low low price of $50 (after all, how could one put a price on increased manhood and sexual prowess) you give me a bottle with 50 pills.

                  A dollar per pill for a bigger tallywhacker seems to be a good deal...at first glance.

                  But the truth of it is, you really cannot take all of these pills. Because as advertised (and you make no claims other than "take one pill and double the size of your penis") every pill I take doubles the current size of my Johnson.

                  This means that by the time I've taken the 6th pill, I'm having to have sex from across the bedroom having by that time an eleven foot penis (10.67 feet based on the average length of 4 inches for the male human phallus).

                  By the 9th one, one of us is going to have to stand outside of the trailer (85.33 feet and sadly our trailer is a 14x70)

                  By the 20th pill, we're in two different counties (33.1 miles)

                  With the 32th pill, We can be in the same bed again...but only after I've wrapped it around the world 4 times (135573.46 miles)

                  With the 41st pill I can shag her while she's on the surface of the Planet Mercury (.75 Astronomical Units)

                  With the 49th pill, I can fuck my wife while she's on a StarShip just at the the heilopause on the "downwind" side of the sun which is 200 AU's distant

                  Pill 50 gives me a dick that is 35,539,769,786.7 miles long or 382.33 times the distance from the Sun to the Earth. Yes, this means that if I were to turn on a laser pen placed just under my balls, it would take 45 minutes for the LIGHT to reach the end of my pecker.

                  So in truth, selling me more than one pill is a waste. Either that, or your products advertising is not very...truthful.

                  Good day and please refrain from sending me any more penis enlargement ads. My wife and I are both quite happy with the size of Mr. Happy thank you.
                  Never heard from them since. Although as I said, that could be from the fact that I closed the hell out of my FB.
                  “There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do.” - Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by LewisLegion View Post
                    I just met you,
                    And this is crazy,
                    But I'm a pornstar,
                    So pay me maybe...
                    LOL that song was the first thing that came to mind when I read the title of the thread.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
                      So I hit the online form you were suppose to use for any questions and posted the following.

                      Never heard from them since. Although as I said, that could be from the fact that I closed the hell out of my FB.
                      The quoted part of this original part is full of win. I closed out my Myspace (remember that?) and switched over to Facebook because of the exact reason in the OP.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
                        [letter]
                        That. Is. Epic.

                        Although I do have to say, that means for $50 your wang can literally go where no man has gone before. That's quite a deal!

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                        • #13
                          Well, this particular one was not a porn invite. *laughs* She wants me to transfer 10.5 million through my account. Yeah...and then I will give her my SSN, all my passwords, and hand her my checkbook.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by TheHuckster View Post
                            That. Is. Epic.

                            Although I do have to say, that means for $50 your wang can literally go where no man has gone before. That's quite a deal!
                            One might think that...but imagine getting hit in the wedding tackle by a passing asteroid.

                            <cringe>
                            “There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do.” - Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              I had a lot of these when I was using msn messenger a few years. I had fun with one of them by adding her then commenting that "I am a female and I have my own boobs to play with so I don't need yours". Then I blocked and deleted her. For what ever reason I haven't been contacted by one of them again.
                              "Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe" -H. G. Wells

                              "Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed" -Sir Francis Bacon

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