Lack of organization when it comes to plans

[LadyBarbossa]

I'm starting to think maybe it's me with the stick up my butt, but does this bother anyone else?

You make plans with someone or someone asks you to hang out, etc. Then that person either flakes out (Good way to get on my "not worth associating with" list), is wishy washy about important little details, like, say, TIME AND PLACE, doesn't answer calls or messages or waits until the last minute to answer, or they do something equally inconsiderate like oversleep or do something with someone else and tell you after the fact.

This keeps happening to me, with at least three different people. Am I being uptight or does this piss off anyone else as much as it pisses me off? Is it too much to expect clear, halfway precise expectations as to where to meet, what time, etc?

[crashhelmet]

This bothers me too. Especially when you're sitting there waiting for everyone else to show, texting people when it's 30-45 minutes after the arranged meet time. Even worse when you've put time and money into arranging it all.

[Andrew B]

I had a friend who I would made plans with on my birthday one year. I wound up waiting for him in a bookstore, where we planned to meet up, for several hours trying to reach him and ultimately just getting a ride home, because he couldn't have any more people over.

Which would be fine, if that wasn't a lie.

As it turns out, he invited over a couple of female friends who he was trying to get with romantically. He told my other friends that I had cancelled and did something else. By the way, he was already in a relationship with someone else at this time, as well. He tried to ditch her as well, so she wouldn't know.

There's a reason I don't consider this guy a friend anymore...

[HYHYBT]

Having been on the other side of some of the examples (never deliberately) it's every bit as frustrating.

Worst is the time/place thing. What's wrong with not having a particular place and time in mind, and therefore letting *you* pick? (Alternately, if you mean someone not knowing when they'll be able to get there, well, if you somehow magically always know how long everything in your life will take beforehand then I'd love to hear how.)

[blas87]

I don't want to steal your thread, as I was going to post something just like it today, but after what I just went through this weekend....

I freaking hate people who will not plan things, and always have to do things "we'll see" willy/nilly.

Seriously, if it involves people taking time off work, or it's about someone else and not you, or if someone has already put money into something......for fuck's sake, you can get off your spontaneous horse for one or two days and just do things as they were planned. Be courteous and mature.

[ngc_7331]

I can forgive oversleeping because that's something I've been guilty of once or twice. If it's a habit, however, that's a different story. The rest I agree with though. I understand that you can't give me an exact time but at least give me a ballpark figure and I know things come up on occasion and you have to cancel but don't make a habit of it. As for what we're doing though, don't expect me to make a plan. I'm more of a "what the hell, let's just wing it" kinda person.

[Rageaholic]

No, I hate that too. If you want to make plans, than make a damn time. None of this "oh we'll decide the time later" bullshit. I've wasted too many days being put on hold waiting for a time only for.

a. never hearing from them.
b. Having them cancel after holding me up all day.
c. Having them call to meet immediately and then get angry when I'm not immediately ready.

[LadyBarbossa]

Oh yeah, I've waited for someone half the day before - we were supposed to have a Game of Thrones marathon and watch the first season all in one go, but it was like two in the afternoon before she even woke up and she still wanted me to come over! Uh, no. Same thing happened the next day. Seriously, I can't start something like that at 2 or 3 in the afternoon and go until the middle of the night, especially when I have work the next day.

Don't hold me up waiting for you and keep me from doing other things or going with people who give a crap. Also don't get upset when you contact me hours after the fact and I no longer want to do anything or I'm busy with something else.

[Rageaholic]

And then there are those who expect you to drop everything for spontanious plans. If you don't, you're an uptight fudd dudd who needs to get out more.

Fuckin' people.

[blas87]

YES!

I hate people who talk as if they are planning on making serious plans, then all of a sudden bail or change their minds and get all pissed at you when you have to scurry and try to reorganize everything, especially if it's like a family thing or large outing with multiple people.

I swear there are more overly spontaneous "We'll just wait and see" people than there are "What time and place?" people.

[hinakiba777]

I have a friend who was once kind of considerate about cancelling plans, and then did something totally inconsiderate and horrible. The worst thing is that she INSISTS that what she did was the more considerate option. One day a few summer ago, she and I made plans to go to the beach with my cousin aka her boyfriend. The morning of the beach trip I called her up to ask when she was coming to pick me up. She told me she wasn't feeling up to it, and asked to reschedule. That was fine by me, and I went back to sleep. A few hours later, she and my cousin arrive at my door ready to take me to the beach. I explain that I had been in bed, and since she had cancelled i wasn't ready. I needed to shower, shave, put on my bathing suit, and get all my beach stuff together. They said they would wait, no problem. So I run around the house getting ready and about 45 minutes later I am prepared to go. Freshly showered in my suit and holding all of my beach gear. It is at this moment that my friend announces that she doesn't want to go to the beach. I ask her why she didn't just tell me that before I got all ready, and she said "It would have been rude to show up at your house and then tell you I didn't want to go to the beach." In the end we went to the beach against her will since my cousin and I were both ready and they had already driven to my house.

My brother is pretty bad for cancelling plans last minute. Though usually it's for a good reason, like he had an accident or he just realized he is out of money. But he tends not to tell me until really late on the afternoon I am expecting him. So I cant make alternate plans. It's so much worse when he rain checks for the following week, and then cancels again. However, it is always a good reason.

My big issues with him is that I tell him to be here by 3pm or something, and he doesn't even Leave until 3pm or later. If he arrives after 5pm I can't get a parking pass, because parking is free at night. But that means that the following morning we must be out of the door by 7:45am since there is no parking after 8am unless you have a pass. Alternate options include staying up all night and getting a parking pass in the morning, or getting up early to get the pass and then go back to sleep.

No, I hate that too. If you want to make plans, than make a damn time. None of this "oh we'll decide the time later" bullshit. I've wasted too many days being put on hold waiting for a time only for.

a. never hearing from them.
b. Having them cancel after holding me up all day.
c. Having them call to meet immediately and then get angry when I'm not immediately ready.

I'm addressing all of these
1) These are the people I NEVER make plans with ever again
2) I understand that they may have thought they could make it and then couldn't, but if you think there might be an issue, just say you might not make it. That way if you can't make it I can make other plans.
3)I hate these people. My friend who lives like 3 miles away will ask me to come over to do something and when I say I am on my way they text "RIGHT NOW". Literally. And then I have to explain that it will take me between 20 to 35 minutes to get dressed and walk/bus there. Always a thousand times worse when you get there and THEY are not ready.

[LadyBarbossa]

Yeah, it happened again. Some of us at work have been wanting to see Oz: The Great and Powerful for a while, myself and Other Redhead in particular. So we agreed to try and see it this weekend (yesterday). One person told me outright last week that she wouldn't be able to make it, another wasn't interested because it would mean having to get tickets for her kids and husband too, and they couldn't afford it. But this is the grown woman who covers her face or leaves the room during movies like Brave and Narnia. Anywho . . . that left me, OR, and Needy. I asked Needy on Tuesday night if she was interested in coming, and she said that she had to ask her husband but she would get back to me the next day. She didn't. So I got with OR on Thursday asking her if she wanted to go with just me, we could meet at the local theater and see it in 3D instead of driving 40 miles to the nearest metro to see it in a larger theater without the glasses. We would have mainly gone to the metro for Needy's sake - she is very . . . large and doesn't fit into the seats at the local theater.

Friday night, Needy is texting me, asking if we were going to the movies Saturday! I told her I had assumed no one else was coming but that me and OR were going to the local theater at X time, but we could probably still go to the metro. She said no, she'd squish in. Whatever.

OR and I enjoyed Oz very much, just the two of us. Needy texted me later going "Oh noes, I fell asleep!"

She might be mad at me, I think, but I really don't care. What she did yesterday is exactly why I've stopped making plans with her, especially when there are other people involved. You just CAN'T wait until the day before to gather up a group of people and go to a non-local place!

Oh yeah, another coworker invited us both to her church this morning for Easter service, and Needy promised she'd be there. I don't think I need to explain what happened (or didn't).