Being Treated Like A Child

[Bob The Random Boy Wonder]

Inspired by BowserKoopa's post over on the main CS board, here's a little something I hate: being treated like a child. I'm glad you guys enjoy rants, because this is one for the ages.

I'm a grown man. I'm soon to be 23, and I've worked for everything I have. I don't frequently spend money, but I'll drop small chunks of change on things other than bills or food when the deal is good enough.

But here's the thing: despite that my money is mine and I've worked long, hard hours for said money, I'm treated like a small child whenever I want to order/buy something online that can't be bought elsewhere. For example, I recently acquired an old laptop which I use to play '90s computer games. That laptop has what's called a "nipple mouse" or "TrackPoint" in the middle and uses proprietary nubs that you can't just buy in any old store. These are $2 with free shipping when purchased online. You'd think there would be zero issue with buying something under those circumstances, right?

Nope! I spend $2, and all of a sudden I'm wasting my money. Two. Freaking. Dollars.

But that's not all! No, if you stay tuned, we'll double this offer! You get two stories for the price of one!

My younger brother recently got himself into trouble on the Internet by talking to people with less-than-savory intentions. He told this person his age, where he goes to school, where we live, what freaking door he comes out of when school is over, where my baby sister goes to school, where my sister lives, and even posted a picture of what she looks like. Oh, and did I mention he video-chatted with the guy on Skype, so the guy now knows what my brother also looks like?

You'd think my parents would be furious about him endangering his safety like this. Did they do anything about this? Did they punish him for being completely stupid online and endangering my sister's safety in the process?

Nope. Guess who they got mad at instead? If you guessed me, you're right!

Punishments threatened to my brother: not even jack crap. He's a little , after all. There's no way in hell he, at 15, understood what he was doing.

Punishments threatened of me: removal of Bob's Internet. Cancellation of Bob's phone. Grounding for a year.

If you missed the fact that I'm a few months away from 23, that's probably important right about now.

I've done Internet security for government and muncipal agencies before. That requires a special security clearance, yet making a big deal out of something that endangers both my siblings' lives--including one sibling that's not old enough to fend for herself yet--means I have no effing idea what the hell I'm talking about. No, there's no possible way I could sincerely love my brother and sister. I must just be trying to be overbearing and want some kind of authority.



I go to the police about this. Surely, I think, the police will let my parents know how big of a deal this thing is. Once again, you forget where you are. After I spend an hour explaining this whole thing to the police and being overly-cooperative, my parents lie about the whole thing, and I'm forcibly removed from the police station. Did I do anything to warrant this? God no. That place has more cameras than Big Brother, yet they still physically threw me out after I did nothing to warrant it.

I'll get off my before I blow a gasket. SC's can be a pain sometimes, but leave it to your family to turn your brain to goo.

[Andara Bledin]

Yegods.

That entire ordeal would inspire me to find a shitty room with an internet connection that wasn't actually dangerous and move the fuck out.

It's bad enough my mother sometimes still treats me like a teenager (and I'm over 40, now), but at least when I tell her I'm an adult and can take care of myself, she backs down.

^-.-^

[blas87]

I feel your pain. I moved back home almost 9 months ago at 25, and although it's a little different this time around, sometimes my mother still thinks I need lectures.

[Seifer]

I really don't understand why your parents would get on your case when your 15 year old (!) brother was the one stupid enough to give his life history to a stranger on the internet. I think your parents are embarrassed that they're so terrible at parenting, and want to blame you, instead.

[Andara Bledin]

His parents are on his case for getting on his brother's case over it.

They're completely and utterly ignoring the fact that the younger brother put himself and his even younger sister in danger to focus on the fact that Bob had the audacity to try to correct him.

Basically, they failed in their job to teach him how to avoid danger, and they're taking it as an insult that he should step on their toes in correcting their child.

It's pretty much the same reason why one of the SCs on CS got pissed off at the poster who stopped her daughter from eating glass.

^-.-^

[Bob The Random Boy Wonder]

^What Andara said. Basically, here's how this thing goes:

1. My brother has free reign of whatever he wants to do on the Internet. Whatever he wants to do, he gets to do it.

(Think back to my story about spending $2 on a proprietary computer part, and pay close attention to the part where I was plainly told I was wasting my money. My brother just spent $50 to buy 500 followers for his Facebook fan page--which is, in my book, a legitimate waste of money. I brought that to my parents' attention, and they were fine with it. )

2. All my brother has to do when I bring up something that would potentially get him into trouble is cry. His crying automatically transfers all the wrath over to me and instantaneously makes everyone else forget what he's done. Since everyone thinks he's a special snowflake, he can pull this off without much effort.

3. Nobody has monitored his Internet behavior in the past, and nobody cares to do so.

4. Another one of my relatives brought my brother's weird online activity to my parents' attention. My brother claimed he didn't do it, so the situation was dropped. (I made him give me his password so I could check, and sure enough he had lied about the whole thing. That's when I found the chat transcripts and such.)

5. For offline stuff: if I help him with his homework and I tell him he's doing something wrong, he creates a disturbance and causes my parents to either call in a relative that will give him the answers anyway or say, "it's OK, honey. You can just turn it in like that." When he fails the assignment, they yell at me for not "helping" him.

(Their definition of "help" is "give the kid the answer." When I help him, I actually help him...y'know, tell him the answers are in certain sections of the reading material, but remain vague enough so he has to actually read the material to find the answers on his own and maybe learn something in the process.)

Oh, and did I mention I get in trouble if I refuse to help him because I know he's just going to cry and get me in trouble when I tell him he's wrong?

Despite how all this sounds, I really do love my brother, but I'm not going to be able to make sure he stays safe online without causing problems. Since that's the way it's going to be, he'd better not screw up and cause harm to himself or my sister. If he does, I will make sure there are consequences for it myself.

[siead_lietrathua]

your parents suck. no question there. maybe they need to go take a nice course on cyberstalkers and internet scam companies to learn why what your brother did is freaking moronic.
or hell, print off every news article you can find on shit that happens to people that post stuff online haphazardly, from the burglaries to stalking, assault and murder. i'm sure it could fill a garbage can. that you can then dump over their heads.
print off your brother's idiotic transcripts and dump those on them too.
your parents are being willfully ignorant when it is not something they can afford to do. arrgh.

[HotelKatz]

You wanna know what I fear that Bob's parents would do if Bob moved out into an apartment and his brother then got into more trouble?

The parents might call the landlord of the apartment and get Bob throw out on a lie, just so that Bob would be forced to move back in with his parents.

[siead_lietrathua]

well, he is old enough he shouldnt have to have them cosign for a month-to-month rental. he coud jsut not give them that info. or explain to the landlord he is moving due to family issues and to ignore any phonecalls they might make to him.

[Duelist925]

Dude. Your brother needs a thumping. And your parents need a hell of a slap from the "Wake the fuck up" fairy. Fuck me sideways, I don't even want to think what I'd do found out someone endangered my lil sis that way.

I gotta be an echo here: print off every bloody cyberstalking story you can, and wallpaper the house with it. GO clockwork orange and make them watch "to catch a predator" for a few days. Print off his chat transcripts. This is some scary shit man.


Fuck, and the police...did they read the chat transcripts? Were they so bloody stupid they thought you'd made the shit up on your parents say so?

[Bob The Random Boy Wonder]

maybe they need to go take a nice course on cyberstalkers and internet scam companies to learn why what your brother did is freaking moronic.

Did I mention neither one of them even knows how to turn on a computer? That's most likely the biggest reason why they're so willfully ignorant about this. "Oh, I don't understand it, so it must not be a big deal." Give me a break.

Fuck, and the police...did they read the chat transcripts? Were they so bloody stupid they thought you'd made the shit up on your parents say so?

Yes. Just wait until you see the latest thread I'm about to post. You won't believe what you're reading.

[cindybubbles]

According to TV Tropes, it seems to me that you are The Unfavorite.

I hope that you will move out and move on with your life as soon as you are able to do so.