Valentine's Day!

[boringscreenname]

I like Valentine's Day, because my husband works as a delivery driver for a local florist, so he makes good money the entire week.

Sometimes we celebrate, sometimes we don't. when we do celebrate it's just something we do at home like eating dinner together and watching a movie, we never go out.

This year I made my husband a chocolate cake, and he bought me flowers, cupcakes (for the whole family really), and he took the kids to the baby-sitter's for the day so I could have a break from them and a day to myself.

[kaycivine]

Well, since my birthday is the day after, I usually get ignored on V-day. Its nice to get a flower or small trinket, but its now meh.
I like V-day jokes, but I have too many friends who were so full of self pity while single and hating on it that then end up gloating that they have a SO to spend it with and brag all over social media about it.

Fun fact, in Japan, Girls give the boys chocolates. (to friends or the boy they like.) I took that idea, made snickerdoodles and brownies from scratch and gave it to my friends :]

[LadyBarbossa]

I dislike it because it makes single people feel like shit. Gee, thanks, unnecessary 'holiday' for shoving images of happy couples in my face and for reminding me that while even the redneck Walmart customer with three chins and a hygiene problems has a boyfriend, I remain alone.

I also plan to let my significant other (should I ever get one) off the hook on V-day. To withhold sex or 'put him in the doghouse' because he didn't buy me jewelry or flowers or candy and kiss my ass is disgusting.

[Nyoibo]

Most of the complaints I'm seeing about the expectations put on people on valentines day were the main motivation behind Steak and BJ day

[wolfie]

on the other side of the coin, most of you may not realize how much BUSINESS pizza delivery places do on this "special and romantic celebration of love" day.

Yeah right nice dinner out my ass.

Actually, delivery pizza can be a more romantic meal than dinner at a fancy restaurant. After all, you take a couple minutes away from "getting it on" to make the call, a couple more to throw on a bathrobe when the pizza arrives, then set the box beside the bed and grab a slice when you need a bit of a "time out". The fancy restaurant would not appreciate the lack of clothing and public display of affection.

Someone else beat me to the REAL significance of Valentine's Day for me - it means my chocolate fix just got cheaper because heart-shaped chocolates wrapped in red foil get a significant markdown the next day.

[Greenday]

Steak and BJ day

Possibly the best holiday of the year.

[blas87]

Honestly, I'm going to go right ahead and say that I would give a guy the cold shoulder or even moreso, deny sex or any affection, if he didn't do a single damn thing for me on V-Day, especially in the first couple of years together.

You don't have to have a lot of money or even go the route everyone goes. Buy some ravioli and a baguette and go to the budget theater to watch corny movies. Whatever you gotta do. Broke is not an excuse, claiming to hate Vday is not an excuse if you have a sap of a gf (or just a girl who loves attention and to think she's being pampered), and punishing a girl you're with because you spoiled your exes already just won't cut it.

[BlaqueKatt]

I dislike it because it makes single people feel like shit. Gee, thanks, unnecessary 'holiday' for shoving images of happy couples in my face and for reminding me that while even the redneck Walmart customer with three chins and a hygiene problems has a boyfriend, I remain alone.

Yes because, it's all about you(general you), and you think people being stuck in a horrible relationship don't feel like crap because we're "with someone". It's one damn day, until my husband's single friends started bitching about how "left out" they felt, it was the ONE SINGLE DAY out of the year he'd actually do something nice for me, his wife of the last 7 years(together for 10), a card, cook dinner, a movie I wanted to see. But nope, now he can't dare plan anything or he gets harped on by people that are not a part of our marriage, for giving in to a day that makes people feel "left out", yup the other 364 days=not a peep.

You know what, I want people to stop celebrating mother's and father's day, because seeing people with their parents makes ME feel left out, because mine are dead.<---see how ridiculous and self-centered that sounds?

People will do things you don't like, they do not require your approval for their actions. Getting mad because others are happy says more about you than it does about them.

You want to know how I spent valentines day?
Sitting in a bowling alley(husband is on a bowling league, he bowls thursdays), being totally ignored by my "partner"*, because every time he so much as came near me, one of the single people in the bowling alley made a huge fuss, gagging noises, and "must be nice to have someone". So because you don't like the day, ruin someone else's? Gee I know another holiday like that, where the people that don't like it are considered curmudgeons(war on x-mas anyone?)


*I got to have a nice lengthy conversation with one of his co-workers though, as he was "allowed" to speak to me without people bitching about it.

[Ginger Tea]

Thread drift, as an orphan (not too sure if there is a cut off age for being one) of some 8 years I skip parental unit day's, not out of "there not here anymore woe is me" thoughts, more along the lines of I can't remember when either of them are in the UK (USA dates are different) so it's out of sight out of mind, I think Mothers day is around March as I think I saw stuff in tesco's once near to the reduced Easter tat, then again I might be mistaken.

When my mum was still alive it was like a 2nd birthday, more so in a way as she was born on christmas day, so it's hard to have a day for yourself when the whole family is getting gifts not just you.
Cards, flowers, brother would come round and cook she might get something for her arts and crafts even if it was a selection of wool.

Yet for Fathers day, hmm can't say we ever really did anything for our dad, maybe a book or something, but as he wasn't into diy or owt like that he never got tools or related gumph. I don't think we got him anything for his B&W home darkroom as he either had it well stocked or we just didn't know what to buy.

/thread drift

I did say in last years thread that if push came to shove you could have gifts ONLY on Vday, birthday, christmas and anniversaries, or you could forgo Vday in favour of random tokens whenever through out the year.

You might say "well that explains why you are still single." nah I'm still single cos I can not be arsed going out and the last few times I've spoken to women that were not co workers were cashiers and the conversation normally involved "do you have a club card?"

Probably the most you would get out of me would be my last Rolo, but the last time I had a tube of those was in the 90's and our old dog Bess had my last one and 3rd and 7th etc.

A woman called in to the radio we had running and said although her husband was away in Afghanistan, he still managed to get chocolates and flowers to her in time for the day and "If my husband can do that from Afghanistan, then you have no excuse."
Honestly if I was in a live in relationship, the most you would get out of me would be "morning." it's not a legaly mandatory thing to do anything on any set day (hell my mum NEVER made pancakes on shrove tuesday, she would however make them on a whim throught the year, pancakes instead of christmas pudding, I'm sure it happened.)

typing this I've decided to make myself even less dateable, you can have shit on Vday, just don't expect anything on your birthday.

edit:
From CS

Before the incident above, I had been helping a new player and his lovely wife with getting into Paintball. Turns out, she had played in High-School/University but gave it up, so for Valentine's Day, they both decided to buy each's other equipment and start playing. As I was going through the selection, I offered them a free game, to test it out to see if they both liked it.

Something like that I wouldn't mind doing for the other half, non traditional etc, just leave me out of the flowers chocolate (unless I get to eat half) jewlery and over priced restraunts.

I'm not sure on the bowling post, but if it was her league game, then I would have no issue with her bowling (or table top gaming/whatever) if the date clashed and the group did not/could not reschedule, because hey, I believe in Father Christmas more than I do this.

[anakhouri]

If you make your expectations clear to your partner (about whatever you want, whether you want to celebrate or not or make it low-key) from the get-go and everyone agrees, that's awesome. And if one person wants to celebrate and the other doesn't, that's what is called compromise my friends. But if one person doesn't make clear their expectations and then is angry that their partner doesn't live up to them, then you have a communication problem. Again, not the fault of the holiday.

BlaqueKatt, your husband needs to find some new friends if they're going to act like jealous children. But I suspect you already know that.

[blas87]

Hun, it's not a communication problem all the time. Sometimes, you get the short straw and end up being the girl that the guy dates after he's become so jaded, he doesn't feel he needs to do anything special for a girl anymore. That's so nice, save all your love and good deeds for the bitches, but not the nice girl.

Love that I'm becoming my whiney, passive aggressive ex day by day. Not that I excuse the behavior, because he truly made everything a mystery to me, but I can see why people give up and start acting childish sometimes. Sometimes, you just can't figure out why, so you back off.

[anakhouri]

Well, if you've made your expectations clear and your partner refuses to try to meet them in any way, you have a choice to make about how much you are willing to take for the sake of the relationship.

I was thinking more of the many, many people I know who are all, "He/she didn't do exactly what I wanted, sure I didn't tell them what I wanted, but THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!".

[blas87]

Oh, no. That's my ex Whiney Bitch aka Nerdrage boyfriend.

Our entire relationship became a mystery after a while. I never knew what I had done to upset him so much. And he was always the one to never say anything until he exploded and stomped away, then it was my fault for not knowing, because, ya know, it's so "duh".

No. It's only "duh" when you've said it out loud before, and goes ignored.

[BlaqueKatt]

But if one person doesn't make clear their expectations and then is angry that their partner doesn't live up to them, then you have a communication problem. Again, not the fault of the holiday.

My expectations are clear(just a damn card, is all I ask for), but because of the huge number of people that go on soapbox tirades about how "unfair" a single holiday is to a group, vs. one solitary person(me) being upset, I lose. The people that whine about being "left out", for one day, are so blinded that they refuse to see they might be causing even worse pain to someone else, over something 100% petty. Get over it and let people be happy without having to walk on eggshells for fear of offending someone.

BlaqueKatt, your husband needs to find some new friends if they're going to act like jealous children. But I suspect you already know that.

Husband's bowling league=husband's coworkers, and he tries to accommodate them because he has to as a manager or it spills over to work(this is why I have nothing to do with the people I work with outside of work.

[hinakiba777]

I never got people being all "Forever Alone" on Valentine's Day. But I guess that's because I see Valentine's Day as the day you spread LOVE, not just Romantic Love. When I was a kid i got card from friends, parents, brother, etc. As an adult, I give cards and gifts to friends, parents, brother, etc. It's just nice to remind people that you love them, and having a set day set aside where you can openly be all "I love you, you are my best friend! And this isn't weird because it's LOVE DAY!!!" It just think it's wonderful.

Though I had a girl last year point out that I like Valentine's Day because I do not date, so it's impossible for me to feel alone. I got really annoyed. Because my dateless status has nothing to do with my lack of wanting to be in a relationship and everything to do with the fact that I'm to shy to ask and no one has asked me. I'm not going to let it ruin my life, especially when my friends keep giving me candy!!!! If I were in a relationship I would definitely want to do couple things on Valentine's. Like gaming all day and eating pizza, or something fun but together.

Ironically for some, Valentine's Day is the one day I don't bug my friends about PDA levels. I will definitely bug them on the other days of the year, but their birthdays, Valentine's, and anniversary are far game for them to be lovey dovey.

Finally, one of my friends got married on February 15. He and his wife are beyond adorable, but every day for the past ten years her friends get bitchy about how he hasn't done anything for he on Valentine's Day. No matter how many times she points out to them that their anniversary is the next day.