Blame it on Aspie

[NorthernZel]

My trick for this(from my therapist), look at their ear, or at something behind them at their eye level, to them it seems like you're looking them in the eye.

Another trick (got that from my drama teacher) is to focus at either the forehead or the chin. Works wonders. (I'm not a diagnosed Aspie/Autist but I do know I have that quirk, and have to explain to coworkers and/or employers that *if* I turn my head away while I'm listening to instructions, it's just my way of focusing better on what they're telling me. In small-talk conversation, I focus on their foreheads.)

However, my son is diagnosed with Autism, and I'm currently training him on the "look at forehead or chin" trick.

[Skunkle]

Also professionally-diagnosed, at age six. I'm in the furry fandom, and it's unbelievable how many furries self-diagnose. The stereotype of furries as mom's-basement shut-ins isn't really very true, but all of the self-diagnosed Aspie furries I've seen simply were socially-awkward. Clue-by-four goes WHAM: that, in and of itself, is not necessarily a sign of anything except being socially-awkward. Loads of non-Aspies aren't good in social or group situations, and there are countless possible reasons.

In my opinion, Asperger's is distinct enough from high-functioning autism that it should be a separate diagnosis, but at the same time I admit I may be wrong. Twenty years' work with a single very helpful psychologist has put 99% of my AS-caused issues into the background; most people never have any idea.

I, too, usually look at a person's forehead or nose when talking to them, because there's no shift in direction. Another good trick is to turn your head and say you're a bit hard-of-hearing and this helps you hear better. And I never use my diagnosis as a crutch or an excuse - if it's causing an issue, I bow out of the situation (though it monkeying with some situation is so rare, I can't remember the last time it happened). I can cold-start conversations, get into discussions on just about any subject, I have only a little bit of trouble staying on-task - and even a dash of OCD doesn't hinder me much.

Incidentally, I like the Japanese form. They don't make firm eye contact - that's rude. The gesture for "I'm really, really paying attention to you" is to close your eyes and nod slowly, like you're shutting out all other distractions and concentrating.