My husband dismissing my ideas

[IDrinkaRum]

For the new members here, I have a daughter who has Autism. She's 9 years old. Today was a snow day.

So she was playing in the upstairs of our townhouse. This has the bedrooms. What I didn't know was that she found a (very) small pair of scissors and she decided to go to town on cutting it. So I had to take her to the local hair salon to get her hair all evened up for school tomorrow.

I took her to a hair salon I knew was not always busy. Fortunately they weren't. We had to wait (and she was antsy), but otherwise it was fine, but I came up an idea:

How about a hair salon that catered to children/adults with autism?

I told hubs what I thought up.

The first words out of his mouth?

"You won't have enough clients. It's a stupid idea."

*sigh*

I have talked to plenty of parents whose children have autism. And they wish there was a place they could take their kids to where they can get their hair cut. My daughter has an aversion to the sound of hair dryers. The hair stylist who cut her hair told about another client of hers who doesn't like the sound of clippers.

I've talked to Twinkle's O(ccupational) T(herapist). She's had clients who would like the same thing.

So I'm going to start looking into the possibility of starting one.

[Aethian]

I think it's a awesome idea and how many times Rummy have we told you that your hubby is a dolt who doesn't understand you?

[IDrinkaRum]

It's either not enough or too many times.

I'm going to look into classes held at the local community college. Research how to start a small business locally. Maybe try for a grant or five? Since I'm a woman, who is thinking of starting a small business, there might be resources out there. Maybe the local library too?

I know this post is complaining about my husband and how he doesn't support me, but if anyone has any ideas on how to help me start the business, please jump right on in!

Thanks!

[Aethian]

You could start out of your house and grow slowly. When you have enough to rent something you go to the next step. But you are going to have get a license to cut hair. Check into the laws on that, you might be able to start off in your house sans license and earn enough to take the classes to get the skills.

[AccountingDrone]

That is a fantastic idea!

I hate getting my hair cut. Now at least if I go in with my hair wet I don't have to sit through someone pawing my head [I dislike being touched by strangers] but previously it seemed that every hair salon required them to wash your hair

[fireheart17]

I could see something like that occurring. If not that, even providing training to salon owners about how to cater for children with autism.

I also freak out at the sound of hair clippers and I can't be in the same room as someone getting their head shaved with them (I have a slight phobia of them: I can walk past them in the shop fine and if they're in the bathroom it's fine, it's more if someone's actually getting their head done that I freak). My mum's been known to do my dad's hair in the bathroom because of this. (for some bizarre reason, I've been able to watch a couple of the World's Greatest Shaves when I was younger and I could also watch the scene in My Sister's Keeper, but for everything else I just freak)

I was actually thinking about this the other day when I went to the local salon for a haircut. They do a great job in general for the price and it's walk-in only. While I was waiting though, I hear this loud screaming. Turning around, I see this kid in the booster seat screaming loudly while the hairdresser is doing his hair. It wasn't even with the clippers, just with the scissors. turns out it was his first haircut.

While I know there are a number of salons that will do things for kids who are on their first haircut, I did have to wonder if this kid was freaking out over the noise, lights and fact that mummy wasn't there (I think?). I do have to wonder how they would address those kids better.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Well first of all, your husband does have a point. He's being a bit of an ass about expressing it, but he does have a point.

If *all* you catered to was autistic people (children and adults) then you would likely not have enough clientele to stay in business. However if you hired people who were experienced with working with the special needs people (or training new hires), advertised that you were a salon that caters to all but are *also* special needs aware...then you got something.

And frankly I think it's a wonderful idea. You could not only serve the autistic and the special needs, but could be able to keep them occupied, and safe while their caregivers get their hair done. Something that is a right hardship at times when you have to not only care for yourself but for someone who is special needs.

I say go for it! It's a great idea, it can really help out the community, and it potentially could be a golden opportunity to be your own boss and own your own business.

Remember to look into applying for the grants for woman-owned businesses from the Government.

[Ladeeda]

I agree with Mongo re: the potential business plan.

What concerns me is your husband brushing it off with "stupid". Unnecessary and cruel. Does he do this all the time?

[LexiaFira]

I agree with Mongo re: the potential business plan.

What concerns me is your husband brushing it off with "stupid". Unnecessary and cruel. Does he do this all the time?

from what i have seen and heard from being friends with rummy and long time watcher/lurker here, yes Ladeeda, he does. alot.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

What concerns me is your husband brushing it off with "stupid". Unnecessary and cruel.

This concerns me too.

My own significant other is a complete ass (he will admit to this) and very blunt in terms of his opinions, however he would never outright call any of my ideas "stupid" or anything along those lines.

He'd take a moment, think it over, then offer a suggestion as to how he thinks it would work better than how I've outlined it. (So in this example, instead of just saying my idea was stupid, he'd offer the suggestion about "How about a standard hair salon that caters to both? Advertise your willingness to handle and knowledge of autism, but don't restrict your clientele to just that.")

The fact that he just brushed you off and call the idea stupid without any effort is... just flat out lazy and mean.

[Panacea]

Getting back on point, I'll second Mongo's suggestion you take other clients, and advertise and meeting special needs.

Advertise it prominently so "normal" (hell, what is normal) people who would get freaked out don't come in in the first place

And be prepared to smack down the ban hammer on the SCs who can't read.

[Gravekeeper]

"You won't have enough clients. It's a stupid idea."

I like that he essentially choose the absolute worst way to express his opinion ;p

[blas87]

Agreed. My boyfriend can be a complete chode, but he knows better than to simply dismiss what I say.

[DGoddess]

Rummy, I think it's a great idea. Sorry your hubby doesn't see it that way, though.

Now if we had more options for persons with special needs, not just salons but also doctors and dentists and other specialists who are trained to work with those whose needs are a bit different, it would make a HUGE difference for parents and their children (whether they are minors or adult aged) to have more access to those services that others seem to be able to find in plentiful supply.

It's one thing for an adult to go, for example, to a orthondontist for dentures but for someone who has a different way of processing (such as my brother) it's more challenging to find.

He had a set of top and bottom plates made several years ago but has difficulty wearing them - Mom took him back several times to have them adjusted but, b/c my brother has not only a speech impediment but difficulty explaining HOW something's not right, the doctor couldn't get them adjusted quite right. He'll wear them if he's going out in public, but around the house he won't b/c they "feel funny." And of course trying to explain to him that he has to wear them daily so his gums will get used to them is pointless . . .

[IDrinkaRum]

Thanks everyone!

My husband can be blunt. It runs in his family. At least he didn't laugh in my face like his parents or brothers would have done.

I've been looking into how to go about starting a small business. In a city about 30 minutes away from me at a center that specializes in helping women set up small businesses, there's an introductory course I can take. An overview of how the center can help me set up my business. However, none of the times work for me to attend. Only one day at a certain time, and then it's in the middle of a weekday and it's during summer vacation. And as many know about my complaints about my parents, I don't have a guaranteed babysitter.

It might have to wait until school starts up again in September.