"hey, a duhr why don't you drive since you can"

[LexiaFira]

this is a bit of an explanation of which i will try to keep short.
TL;DR at the bottom of the paragraph

Back in the single digits of the 2000's (ie before 2010 at least)
I had a car wreck, car was written as totaled and i failed to properly report and all that because due to me being fired and STILL letting my insurance know so i could at least try to make payments they cut me off so i had no insurance (at the time i didn't know they just screwed me. i let them have it after all this and so on)
so i was ordered to pay for the person i hit's medical bills and car repair. so i said ok, did my best to get a job and maintain. i did but did not drive for a while. but made sure i had a reliable way to work. then i got fired ie i got made the scape goat this time. informed the people necessary as the agreement was that if i lose my job let the person's insurance know so they can put a hold on it and stop interests rising etc. i did. had to move and get another job., did all that but apparently i failed to do this in the appropriate time slot so it defaulted and i owe all this money etc.


long story short. my license is suspended, i CAN get it unsuspended by paying 100 to renew, and getting an SR21 (I think) insurance form and paying an outrageous amount for two years until i am "trustworthy" again and MAYBE get to drive for work only. i said fuck that. because i am tired of being screwed. i went through the proper channels and did everything right and every time got screwed.

TL;DR got in a wreck, couldn't pay what i owed as it was my fault after a while. insurance screwed me so i now have to pay all of it or tough shit

the point being yes if i were rich or at least employed i'd be able to do this. (the not being able to be employed is another fucking rant) and as i get older the vision in my lazy left eye is faltering even after work on it over the years and muscle training. (covering my right eye to make the left eye work more)

SO. as annoying as it gets i STILL politely explain when asked to make events.
"I'm sorry i cannot make it because my husband works that day. NO my husband is not my keeper, i cannot legally drive and in the long run its safer if i don't as i cannot see well out of my left eye anymore." so i get these lovely responses

"well hur hur you're just lazy"
"you should get a job"
"you should get a job so you can pay this"
"wow i feel bad for you"
"thats not fair to make your husband your chauffer"
and many more similar. EXCUSE ME? oh please believe if i could find out why i am unhirable or could get a job i fucking would and would pay this shit off in a heartbeat. its bad enough that i will HAVE to take a high insurance rate for at LEAST two years for all this fucking crap over ONE accident that i could have avoided had i paid attention to that red light. do you have any idea how much i beat myself up weekly over this? because i already know i am starting to become a big inconvience to hubby. (i have been reassured numerous times i am not, its hard to get rid of that thought)
i thank him as often as i canfor taking me where i need to go. and to help if i have to go somewhere i make sure it coincides with a day thats going to be an outing day period so we all can enjoy going outside.

at least 7 years of me not driving has caused me to become housebound and more than borderline agorophobic. i won't go out past the property line (back and front yard) without someone. it took me weeks to get the courage to take my daughter to walk to the corner store....so when people say this after i have explained the above to them it makes me want to pound their face.
I just walk away now

[Gravekeeper]

I have *never* had a driver's license because I have never needed one, but no one has *ever* asked me why I don't in my entire life either....

[Lyse]

A friend of mine is in his 40s and cannot drive. Just can't. Never learned and never really felt the need to. Our city has a transit system that gets him pretty much anywhere he needs to go. I was stunned the number of people that question him about not having a license. Not just a "can you drive?", but following up with "Really?!" And "Why not?!". Just seems rude and nosy to me.

[smileyeagle1021]

The people I hate are the ones who when you tell them you took the bus ask "well, what happened to your car"... um, it's sitting in my garage... well, why didn't you drive it... because I didn't feel like deeling with traffic and parking and paying for gas (yes, I have to pay for the bus, but it still comes out to be cheaper than paying for gas and parking) and no, I don't think it is beneath me to ride the bus, it is a perfectly functional way of getting from point A to point B.

[RedRoseSpiral]

I didn't get my license until a year and a half ago when I was 23 for a number of reasons. I knew how to drive, but until then I didn't have a car (thank you grandpa for buying me one), didn't have the money to maintain a car, or pay insurance on it. The amount of people who told me that wasn't good enough was amazing. After awhile I just started giving them the dead fish stare until they shut up.

[Rageaholic]

Why can't people just mind their own fucking business?

That's all I have to say about that.

[Glados]

I did not drive for many years. I also received hounding questions about why. It went so far as to cost me a promotion at work.

The most persistent person in bothering me about not driving was the head of one department. She harassed me about it daily. I lived extremely close to work and not driving never caused me to miss work or be late. I eventually applied to this department. I was turned down because not driving meant I showed a lack of dedication in her opinion.

[BlaqueKatt]

I have *never* had a driver's license because I have never needed one, but no one has *ever* asked me why I don't in my entire life either....

well technically you live in a country with a reasonable mass transit system, Americans, not so much(auto manufacturers have more money to lobby), I get asked all the time why I don't drive. Worst part is explaining that I don't want to endanger others if I happen to be struck with a blinding migraine while driving, they act like potentially killing another human is nothing compared to being "inconvenienced" by taking public transit, biking, or walking somewhere.

[SongsOfDragons]

The JobCentre in my area a few months ago were badgering people who didn't have driving licences to start getting them. Fine, a lot of jobs demanding them now, vut they were seriously insinuating that refusal to get one could be seen as deliberately making a barrier to work which could get you in trouble with them. I think they quietly stopped mentioning it after they realised people were complaining - after all, they weren't offering any help with paying for lessons...

I need to change my epilepsy medication in the next year or so, putting me at risk of breakthrough seizures which would see me off the road for six months at least. They still don't understand why I can't apply for permanent jobs that ask for driving ability...

[Lace Neil Singer]

I can't drive. I did at one point have a motorbike licience but I gave up riding a motorbike when I moved into town, cuz I can walk most places and take the bus or train if I need to go shopping etc. The amount of people who say, "Well, why don't you learn?" is amazing. I don't see the point cuz I have legs that will take me most places I need to go and it's better to go shopping for clothes etc on the bus as it means I can have a drink if I want to at lunchtime and don't have to pay for parking.

[telecom_goddess]

I have *never* had a driver's license because I have never needed one, but no one has *ever* asked me why I don't in my entire life either....

Same here. I don't drive, don't need to, don't want to, never plan to. People assume I do and then when I say I don't they're like....oh. But that's the end of it.

[Ginger Tea]

The JobCentre in my area a few months ago were badgering people who didn't have driving licences to start getting them. Fine, a lot of jobs demanding them now, vut they were seriously insinuating that refusal to get one could be seen as deliberately making a barrier to work which could get you in trouble with them. I think they quietly stopped mentioning it after they realised people were complaining - after all, they weren't offering any help with paying for lessons...

Yeah, no pay me to learn, me no learn.

Once I knew my job was going to go (it went 2nd of March) I knew I might have to get a moped / scooter licence (and vehicle natch) as that would widen my availability for commuting to work, my last job was an easy route almost a straight line for 20 minutes by bycicle (longer when the gears were borked), but I have a rule that if I can not find it on the pocket A-Z or poster map, it might as well say "Here be dragons" on the edges, if I can not cycle there, it may as well not exist.
Not booked my first lesson yet, hell only left the house about 5 times at the most this month (need to write that thread), but it opens up avenues into other towns nearby, some I can get the bus too others train, but some it seems just too longwinded round the houses to matter a more direct route could quater the time.

But I did hate how in the late 90's the job cards they had on the walls never had a line for licence and perhaps own car, it was always tucked in a paragraph. So I could find a job I could do, seemed to be at a fixed location, then get broad sided by this car line when I apply at the desk, it was never own car due to remote location, nope easily reached by bus, no specific car needed in description save for that line saying well yes it is.

[protege]

Thought I'd drop this... My great-grandmother never learned to drive, and she lived to age 103! Then though, it was different. Women simply didn't drive. It was seen as a "man's thing" then, I guess. Great-grandpa did all the driving. If she needed to go somewhere, the trolley line (they lived in East Cleveland, before it became a ghetto) wasn't too far away. Even after he died (she outlived him by 30 years!), she never learned. It was simply easier to get on the bus or bug her daughter for a ride. As far as I know, I don't ever recall anyone giving her shit because she couldn't drive. If they did...I have a feeling that she would have put them in their place--there's nothing like a little white-haired old lady screaming at someone in German

[smileyeagle1021]

--there's nothing like a little white-haired old lady screaming at someone in German

Sure there is... a little white-haired old lady screaming at someone in Gaelic

[Lace Neil Singer]

Once I knew my job was going to go (it went 2nd of March) I knew I might have to get a moped / scooter licence (and vehicle natch)

Or you could just take the CBT and keep on renewing it every two years, like a lot of teenagers round my way do, cuz the test is expensive and passing the CBT allows you to ride your moped about with L plates. I've seen so many provisional liciences when asking for ID.