Can I please just have an emotion?

[gremcint]

Calm down
Don't get so excited
Cheer up
No need to be so angry
god what are you so happy about
SMILE
don't look so angry
Don't get so upset


FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EMOTION NOW AND THEN WITHOUT YOU CRITICIZING OR QUESTIONING IT

Sorry but I just feel like no matter what I feel somebody has to tell me to feel the opposite.

[bara]

Oh yeah. I understand exactly what you mean. I dont have any problems with my family for the most part.

But Ive had co-workers and former bosses that were really bad about that. Corporate drones are the worst.

[Aethian]

I have that at work...I can be tired or just not in a mood to be talkative and I'm immediately put into the class of being grumpy or in a pissed off mood. Which gets commented on and giggled at like the assholes they are. Which of course puts me into a foul mood.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I blame the Barney the Dinosaur effect for that.

Back in the days of Fred Rogers and his neighborhood (god I miss quality children's programming), he would teach that there are times when you're going to be sad. That you will be angry at times.

And it's OK to feel these emotions. Just don't let them overwhelm you, don't let them take over your life. Feel the negative emotions, let them get out of your system.

Hell even Sesame Street looked death straight in the eyes and fucking dealt with it on camera. No sugar coating, no covering it up...dealt with death and loss and reminding people that happiness can and will return in time.

I attribute my attitudes about death to the loss of Mr. Hooper. Thank you CTW!

(that's sincere BTW and not sarcasm)

Then came Barney the Dinosaur and the children's shows that came afterwards. Shows that showed only happy kids. That showed that sadness and anger and other negative emotions as something bad and needed to be hidden from the world at large. That it was not OK to cry. That it was not OK to be angry. That you had to be happy 24/7/52.

And so society started forgetting how to deal with these feelings and turned real genuine concern into people trying to force you to put on a smile and repress the fuck out of these emotions until you need therapy, develop ulcers, and/or snap and going on a shooting rampage and take out a bus load of nuns.

Me? I like to wallow in my emotions. When I'm pissed off I have a little ritual that I love doing.

I take a bowl and put a candle in it. Then I add water until it's a half-inch below the top of the candle. Then I light the candle and the fun begins.

I sit there and stare at the flame. I bring up everything that's been bothering me. Some twat cut me off in the parking lot? Pour it into the flame. Some shit head gets into my face about how my celebrating Christmas offends them? Fuel the flame. Someone kicks my puppy? Into the fire.

My rage fuels the fire! Makes it burn! That flame is an inferno driven by my death and glory bloodlust! It is the avatar of all my revenge plans!

Then when the candle burns down to the water it goes out. The shock of seeing the flame burn out snaps me out of my meditation/murder fantasy. I'll have had about 10-15 minutes of letting my rage monster loose to stretch its legs and I'm usually spent.

If I do it right before I go to bed I find I sleep like a baby.

But I let my anger go in a safe, harmless, and non-destructive way. When I'm done I even feel damn silly for doing it. Last time in the ritual my mind came up with the phrase "Flaming Murder Boner" and I could not stop laughing for the rest of the night.

It's not totally my idea, the inspiration came from a friend of mine who does the same thing for sadness. She puts on mascara (the kind that runs when you cry), dresses in black, puts on the most depressingly sad and melancholic music she can and sets a timer for 15 minutes of wallowing in self-pity.

Then when it's over she looks in the mirror and sees the mess her mascara made and it snaps her back into reality. She also takes a picture...they're fucking hilarious (her words) and she laughs so hard for having let that bottled up emotion loose.

So I blame the BtD effect. We have gotten it in our minds (as a society) that negative emotions are some sort of disease and are evil and should never be seen by anyone, least of all yourself.

[SongsOfDragons]

Barney, one of the great kid traumatisers. Along with Bambi and Watership Down, but possibly he worst of the three. Oh and Care Bears - 'being sad is stupid and not allowed'. XP

I love that candle trick idea. XD

[HYHYBT]

Off topic, but this is a great coincidence. I haven't thought about Mr. Rogers in quite a while until a couple days ago, when there was a picture on Facebook of the Supreme Court building with the columns in rainbow colors. This sent me looking for a picture of the Museum-Go-Round... which, along with the castle, factory, tree, etc., turns out still to exist. Kinda shabby looking, but for something intended neither to be seen close-up in high resolution nor to last nearly as long as it has, that's expected.

http://neighborhoodarchive.blogspot....-go-round.html

[siead_lietrathua]

amen to the OP, i get that horseshit constantly at work when i'm not being a bundle of sunshine.
makes me all kinds of stabbity to be told how to feel at my age. i'm not some toddler.

[BrenDAnn]

Oh good. I'm not the only one who has to force myself not to bitchslap the everliving SHIT out of people who do that kind of thing. Don't tell me to smile. Seriously. Just don't. Don't make a smart remark about me being in a mood, either, fuck you very much. Oh, and "you're no fun!" WILL get met with a death glare. Even my manager death glared at the last person that said that to her!

[Food Lady]

I get this all the freakin' time at work, from sucktomers. No one has the right to tell me how to feel. I didn't bend to their will last year, and then apparently I got a lot of complaints about me. Funny that I never heard a word about them until review time. I can tell you I should have an oscar for the acting I've done since then.

[Kheldarson]

I'm becoming very familiar with this.

Apparently, it's shocking and alarming that I, a pregnant woman, am not excited over my pregnancy. That I have a dislike of being pregnant even!

I'm not against having a kid, per se (would've liked a bit better timing...but hey...), I'm more very, very, very not happy with being pregnant.

But that's not allowed apparently. Or is alarmingly worrisome.

[aurelemsrealm]

I had a regular sucktomer once tell me I should smile. I have never seen her smile or act friendly. I told her I will try it when she does. She gave me a death glare, and then I did smile.

[Ree]

I get told all the time by a few of coworkers to smile.

I tend to get a really serious look on my face when I am deep in thought.

Some days, I am in so much damn pain and it just shows on my face.

I get sick of hearing, "Smile," in a teasing tone.

Then, if I am in a really good mood and feeling silly and joking, I get, "What are you smoking today?"

Ummm...if I look like I'm bitchy you have a problem, and if I come across as too happy, you have a problem.

Another one I keep hearing from friends and family when I am missing my late husband, and get suddenly overcome by grief just out of the blue, "He wouldn't want you to be so sad."

Let me have my damned feelings and emotions and piss off!

[Rageaholic]

I get sick of hearing, "Smile," in a teasing tone.

I despise the teasing tone in general. I get sick of people thinking they can get away with saying insulting things just because they say it in a teasing tone. If I get rightfully POed, I have no sense of humor.

[aurelemsrealm]

Ree, I am the same with the serious expression when I'm concentrating. Funny thing is all the men in my dad's family have stern expressions in pictures I've always noticed it when I look in the mirror. I've always noticed it in pictures of my dad. My grandfather passed away before I was born, but I've always noticed it in his photos. I've always noticed it in pictures of my uncles and my grandfather's brothers. It's just a family trait in my dad's family. The men have stern expressions even when they are smiling. I come by it honestly.

Now that I think about it, quite a few of the women in my dad's family also look pretty serious in pictures. My sister does in some of her pictures. I'm also noticing that my daughter often looks serious in her pictures, and my wife says our daughter acts just like me.

[XCashier]

I quite agree with Mongo's Mr. Rogers vs Barney explanation. It sure does seem that lately, a lot of people consider it a sin or a crime to feel a less-than-pleasant emotion, and frankly, I think that's very unkind. Sometimes the world just sucks, and it's better to be honest about it than plaster a happy face on and pretend everything is hunky-dory.

I get this all the freakin' time at work, from sucktomers. No one has the right to tell me how to feel.

Agreed. I hate it when customers expect you to be a perky happy sunflower, and mock and belittle you when you have the audacity to be somewhat less than cheerful! Um, guess what, SC? This may come as a complete shock for you, but I AM human! That's why I act human, rather than being a chipper little robot Just To Make You Happy.

Apparently, it's shocking and alarming that I, a pregnant woman, am not excited over my pregnancy. That I have a dislike of being pregnant even!

Even though women are built to bear children, it's still rough on our bodies. Pregnancy leaves you tired, robs you of nutrients and energy, causes all sorts of body aches and stress. It's natural to feel run-down and unenthusiastic. And it's highly uncharitable of others to try to make you feel worse about feeling bad.