Subtle Abuse

[Ghel]

Controlling a spouse is abuse, right? I've always considered it so.

The reason I bring it up is because I see how ex-coworker and her husband behave when they come into the bank. He's creepy. She seems annoyed. She does their banking business while he chats with customers and employees.

Today, he went into the branch manager's office to chat with her. When his wife joined him, he sat down in one of the two chairs for customers, blocking her access to the other chair. So the branch manager and the husband are sitting, but the wife is forced to stand. The wife is standing there awkwardly. She's got a look of barely-suppressed annoyance. He's acting like he always does - like he owns the place.

She's apparently not comfortable with saying either, "move over so I can sit down" or "we need to go."

[Duelist925]

That seems to be on a fine line between "Being a douche because he knows his wife doesn't like making public scenes" and "controlling abusive douche".

Either way

Douche.

[Andara Bledin]

This is one of those situations where, without the rest of the picture, making any guess at all is really not wise.

I got freaking ostracized from my entire gaming group because they thought I was a harridan to my ex. That is, until we broke up and they learned that not only am I not like that, but that he was the cause of all the drama.

But, because of assumptions based on half the story, I got blacklisted for it.

[Ghel]

I'm sorry you had to go through that, Andara.

I've seen the husband in the OP do similar things to his wife, when she still worked with me. I don't like either of them; they're both annoying as hell. But when I see them together, he does these sort of subtle, abusive or manipulative things to her. And she never calls him out on it. It's not quite enough for me to say anything, especially since I'm not on good terms with her, but I can see that it bothers her.

[siead_lietrathua]

ugh, i see quite a few female customers treating their husbands poorly in the store. one poor guy was reduced to just shaking his head while his wife argued with a coworker because the customer failed at math. every time he tried to interject she would yell at him, and if he tried to step out of the way of other people she'd yell at him for moving.
bitchasaurusrex.

[HYHYBT]

Amazing how many people like that manage to keep a mate.