Subtle Sexism

[the_std]

So I have recently become a manager in a traditionally male-dominated area - an electronics department in a retail store. I am a 24-year old woman. And I have never experienced as much sexism in my life as I have in the week and a half since I got the position.

Day in and day out, customers will come in to the department and, as I greet them, they tell me they're "just looking". Then, as soon as they see my large male coworker (who works in a different department altogether), they're all questions. He then points them in my direction and says that I am the one who can help them. They raise an eyebrow incredulously, and then ask me their question with that oh-so-patronizing look on their face... And then are so AMAZED when I'm able to help them.

If I had to count, this has happened at least two dozen times in a week and a half.

I had one guy tell me that an answer I gave him couldn't possibly correct, because it wasn't the same answer that my brand-new, fifteen-year old employee (who just happened to be a man) had given him. When I pointed out to him that I was the manager, and it was said employee's second shift EVER, he snorted and went back to talking to my employee.

It has happened in small, subtle ways so many times today that I've reached my boiling point. It was either post about it, or scream at someone, and I don't want to be fired.

[Jaden]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I just got a new job, but for the past several months I worked at a store that primarily sells batteries for various things. Obviously, this is a typically male-dominated industry. One time a guy walked in when I was standing behind one counter and my female coworker was standing behind the other, opposite me. She greeted him, the guy looks at her, then at me, then at her again and says "No offense, but I'm going to talk to him because he's a guy." Literally, he just straight up said that. The funny thing is that he needed a battery for a gun scope, and between me and my coworker, she knows a whole lot more about guns than I do - I've never even fired a gun, much less messed around with scopes, lasers, and such. We told my manager about him and all he could say was "Wow, what a prick." Pretty much.

[HYHYBT]

I'd love to see someone argue the other side of this one, whether that be that it doesn't happen or that it's justified. Just for the fun of watching.

[Hyena Dandy]

I'd love to see someone argue the other side of this one, whether that be that it doesn't happen or that it's justified. Just for the fun of watching.

Mkay.

I disagree with the_std

I argue this sexism isn't subtle at all!

[Tanasi]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I just got a new job, but for the past several months I worked at a store that primarily sells batteries for various things. Obviously, this is a typically male-dominated industry. One time a guy walked in when I was standing behind one counter and my female coworker was standing behind the other, opposite me. She greeted him, the guy looks at her, then at me, then at her again and says "No offense, but I'm going to talk to him because he's a guy." Literally, he just straight up said that. The funny thing is that he needed a battery for a gun scope, and between me and my coworker, she knows a whole lot more about guns than I do - I've never even fired a gun, much less messed around with scopes, lasers, and such. We told my manager about him and all he could say was "Wow, what a prick." Pretty much.

He needed a CR-2032 battery. Very common in the firearms area and oddly the same battery used on mother boards.

[Rageaholic]

Mkay.

I disagree with the_std

I argue this sexism isn't subtle at all!

Yeah, I think passive aggressive would be the better choice of words.

Even if you were to argue "everyone's a bit racist", not everyone acts like a douche because of it. The people in these examples were clearly being douches.

[Jaden]

He needed a CR-2032 battery. Very common in the firearms area and oddly the same battery used on mother boards.

Not to derail, but just to answer this, it wasn't a 2032. I sell those all day long I left out some irrelevant details of the story, but it wasn't a scope bought in America. It needed some weird battery that we eventually found for him.

[Ginger Tea]

If I were to shop at arts and craft stores, I would more than likely seek out a female employee and probably a more mature one at that, as it's still seen as a woman's hobby than a man so I would feel I would be talking to and asking for advice on subjects that the male staff might not engage in.
Basically seeing them as grunts to do any and all heavy lifting and not someone who does cross stitch cos he found out he can make pixel art.

So I admit I would be guilty of sexism in that scenario but I don't do much shopping in general to really give a flying who serves me at the end of the day in other establishments like HMV Game and the local Forbidden Planet which tbh I've rarely seen the one female employee if she still works there that is, but there it's more of a case of I walk in, I look around then I take what I'm buying to the till, I'm not looking for expert advice or anything.

[BlaqueKatt]

I've had some weird alternate reality version:

Working at an oil change place, only female working for the company, everyone wanted me because being a girl I apparently was "more trustworthy", because "everyone knows" male mechanics are dishonest, and will do repairs you don't need.

Well no, just like any other group, there are good and bad, and you hear more about the bad, so it seems like that may be the case.

[jackfaire]

Just because I like to look around first when I do go into a place, okay gaming store, I end up seeing who is knowledgeable about games and who is "that one is awesome because uhm awesome" Then when I do have questions I approach that person otherwise it's the one that is the closest that is readily available regardless of gender if they tell me "this other person is more knowledgeable about that" then I will turn to the other person.

I just want my questions answered don't care by whom.

Some people will turn to an older person because the perception is "They are older they must have worked here longer" which no longer works as well with high turn over fields

[Greenday]

Mkay.

I disagree with the_std

I argue this sexism isn't subtle at all!

That was my first thought reading this thread.

[the_std]

It's pretty subtle in opposition to the other stuff I've had to deal with.

"You're a girl? Get me your REAL boss, girly!"
"Boobs can't operate electronics."
"I refuse to speak to you. Get me a man."
"Do you have a kitchen in the back room? Cause that's the only reason I can think of for you working here!"

Those are some of the other gems I've encountered in the nearly four years I've worked for electronics retailers. That is overt sexism. Eye-rolling and such is subtle in comparison.

Know the worst part? It seems to be 40-something men with their wives who are the worst - the old farmers and such are total sweethearts.

[Aethian]

Boobs can't operate electronics? Well it's nice to know that the customer is open to calling themselves a name, and to the fact that he's honest about it.

[Rapscallion]

Dunno - boobs are appealing and these guys aren't.

Rapscallion

[Talon]

"Boobs can't operate electronics."

I wonder if that one operates electronics with his cock. I've heard that can end... badly. Naturally I hope he does

"I refuse to speak to you. Get me a man."

So that's what he's into. Nothing wrong with that, I'm not one to judge.

"Do you have a kitchen in the back room?

Kitchens have sharp objects. Just saying.