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so I've mentioned the story on CS.com and I THINK here. This goes quite a way way way back, to when fireheart hadn't even heard of CS.com and was a wee fireheart at high school.
This concerns a guy that well, we had an odd friendship of sorts. We caught the same bus together, shared a few classes (social studies*, English and First Aid**) and worked together on a few projects (my class and his class would combine and the whole class would work together). He seemed to have a very odd two-faced nature about him. This is what I'd mean:
On the bus: He became the "leader" of our merry little bunch and would entertain/chat with us. Some of the more memorable moments included him offering to buy students shoes, singing backstreet boys (horribly), singing other songs (also horribly, but he had a reason for that ***) and then on a few occasions, asking me questions which I think were designed to get me to come out of my shell?
At school: Was the class clown and kept asking me questions designed to make me squirm/blush (nothing overtly sexual in nature, just rumours he wanted to follow up on). Otherwise he'd ignore me, snap at me or joke about me in front of his mates (co-ed group). I actually got along with a fair few of the members in that group, so it was more just stuff to try and get me riled up. He never full-on bullied me, although I did make a fool of myself.
Year 12, he asked me out. I had a feeling he wasn't taking it seriously and told a friend about it behind my back. He overheard, confronted me and yeah....I couldn't look at him for a week after that
. (part of it is that I did not have a good track record with crushes or relationships, either I'd be strung along as a joke, I'd suffer rejections or guys I was not attracted to would hit on me either for them or their friends. Over time, I sorta developed a brick wall about it) Despite that, we ended the year on mostly good terms.
Post high-school, he went off to the army, I went off to uni. I wound up being psychologically and sexually abused and went on antidepressants. When I spoke to him, he was somewhat depressed. He wouldn't talk to me (or anyone) about it and mentioned that he'd been picking up chicks almost daily where he was (interstate). He went off Facebook after this and I lost contact for a while. That I was OK with.
Then he jumped back onto Facebook with a new profile and I discovered that he'd been apparently discharged from the army (back in high school, he'd had some knee problems that didn't entirely prevent him from playing sport, but still caused him grief, it apparently did cause him grief in the army) and was back home in my state. He was now actually studying at TAFE with the view to get into uni the following year, studying to be a teacher. This sorta threw me for a loop since I had NEVER heard any inclination of him wanting to teach.
Then he started at uni and happened to be in some of my sister's classes. I chatted to him briefly and things got UGLY. Short version: insults were traded back and forth for a bit, with one particular insult hitting home (I can't remember entirely what it was). Then I brought up his discharge from the army, pointing out that I at least stuck to my guns and persisted with my dream. He did not like that, told me never to contact him again and blocked me on Facebook. I quite happily followed suit and proceeded to set it up so that anything from him would go into trash (not the spam, the trash) in my email account, he couldn't contact me via the uni message service and I also mutually blocked him from Facebook.
That was around a year ago. A few months prior to the last conversation, I'd been having recurring nightmares involving him. I say nightmares since most of them involved sex or romance with him and in those scenarios, he was actually the perfect gentleman! I'd somehow thought that talking to him might've actually stopped those nightmares from recurring.
That actually hasn't worked.
Now, he is on my mind constantly. I have been having semi-recurring dreams/nightmares, although there isn't the sex element there as such. In fact, the last dream I can remember, I was on the couch in trackies (which I don't wear these days...giant butt and thigh-rub pretty much erodes all pants) and watching a movie. Next thing I know I lie down on the couch and end up in his arms. He holds me for a while and then we start kissing. And at that point is when I wake up
. Other dreams have involved just a feeling of him spooning me, me waking up in his bed (not having had sex) or something along those lines.
On top of that, we also have a new feature. I will call it the "Scenario Simulator." Basically just running scenes through my head of what I would say to him if I saw him face-to-face. It will happen, no doubt about that. The scenarios have ranged from short, sharp "threats" (basically "don't piss me off") through to smacking him across the face. The only scenario that would be vaguely "neutral" is if I ran into him on a teaching prac. That would be a short ultimatum: if he helped me out on my prac (didn't sabotage me, gave me advice etc.), I'd stick up for him if he was unfairly accused of kiddy touching (as far as I'm aware, he's not a pedo). If he screwed up my prac, I wouldn't do so.
I just feel horrible about the ways things "ended", but at the same time, I can't help but feel a little worried for him as well. He did not take the army mentions too well, which made me wonder how hurt he was about it (he was generally resilient in high school). I just want the thoughts to stop. I want to be able to walk around the mall without feeling like I'm going to run into him. I want to be able to go on a teaching prac and not wonder whether he works at that school.
*- social studies in this case was more examining social issues, rather than society and environment. Years 11 and 12 basically divided society and environment into history, geography, social studies, aboriginal studies and ancient/classical studies.
**- yes my high school allowed you to do a first aid class in year 11 and it counted towards your high school certificate. No, he was not my partner in that class thank god!
This concerns a guy that well, we had an odd friendship of sorts. We caught the same bus together, shared a few classes (social studies*, English and First Aid**) and worked together on a few projects (my class and his class would combine and the whole class would work together). He seemed to have a very odd two-faced nature about him. This is what I'd mean:
On the bus: He became the "leader" of our merry little bunch and would entertain/chat with us. Some of the more memorable moments included him offering to buy students shoes, singing backstreet boys (horribly), singing other songs (also horribly, but he had a reason for that ***) and then on a few occasions, asking me questions which I think were designed to get me to come out of my shell?
At school: Was the class clown and kept asking me questions designed to make me squirm/blush (nothing overtly sexual in nature, just rumours he wanted to follow up on). Otherwise he'd ignore me, snap at me or joke about me in front of his mates (co-ed group). I actually got along with a fair few of the members in that group, so it was more just stuff to try and get me riled up. He never full-on bullied me, although I did make a fool of myself.
Year 12, he asked me out. I had a feeling he wasn't taking it seriously and told a friend about it behind my back. He overheard, confronted me and yeah....I couldn't look at him for a week after that
. (part of it is that I did not have a good track record with crushes or relationships, either I'd be strung along as a joke, I'd suffer rejections or guys I was not attracted to would hit on me either for them or their friends. Over time, I sorta developed a brick wall about it) Despite that, we ended the year on mostly good terms.Post high-school, he went off to the army, I went off to uni. I wound up being psychologically and sexually abused and went on antidepressants. When I spoke to him, he was somewhat depressed. He wouldn't talk to me (or anyone) about it and mentioned that he'd been picking up chicks almost daily where he was (interstate). He went off Facebook after this and I lost contact for a while. That I was OK with.
Then he jumped back onto Facebook with a new profile and I discovered that he'd been apparently discharged from the army (back in high school, he'd had some knee problems that didn't entirely prevent him from playing sport, but still caused him grief, it apparently did cause him grief in the army) and was back home in my state. He was now actually studying at TAFE with the view to get into uni the following year, studying to be a teacher. This sorta threw me for a loop since I had NEVER heard any inclination of him wanting to teach.
Then he started at uni and happened to be in some of my sister's classes. I chatted to him briefly and things got UGLY. Short version: insults were traded back and forth for a bit, with one particular insult hitting home (I can't remember entirely what it was). Then I brought up his discharge from the army, pointing out that I at least stuck to my guns and persisted with my dream. He did not like that, told me never to contact him again and blocked me on Facebook. I quite happily followed suit and proceeded to set it up so that anything from him would go into trash (not the spam, the trash) in my email account, he couldn't contact me via the uni message service and I also mutually blocked him from Facebook.
That was around a year ago. A few months prior to the last conversation, I'd been having recurring nightmares involving him. I say nightmares since most of them involved sex or romance with him and in those scenarios, he was actually the perfect gentleman! I'd somehow thought that talking to him might've actually stopped those nightmares from recurring.
That actually hasn't worked.
Now, he is on my mind constantly. I have been having semi-recurring dreams/nightmares, although there isn't the sex element there as such. In fact, the last dream I can remember, I was on the couch in trackies (which I don't wear these days...giant butt and thigh-rub pretty much erodes all pants) and watching a movie. Next thing I know I lie down on the couch and end up in his arms. He holds me for a while and then we start kissing. And at that point is when I wake up
. Other dreams have involved just a feeling of him spooning me, me waking up in his bed (not having had sex) or something along those lines. On top of that, we also have a new feature. I will call it the "Scenario Simulator." Basically just running scenes through my head of what I would say to him if I saw him face-to-face. It will happen, no doubt about that. The scenarios have ranged from short, sharp "threats" (basically "don't piss me off") through to smacking him across the face. The only scenario that would be vaguely "neutral" is if I ran into him on a teaching prac. That would be a short ultimatum: if he helped me out on my prac (didn't sabotage me, gave me advice etc.), I'd stick up for him if he was unfairly accused of kiddy touching (as far as I'm aware, he's not a pedo). If he screwed up my prac, I wouldn't do so.
I just feel horrible about the ways things "ended", but at the same time, I can't help but feel a little worried for him as well. He did not take the army mentions too well, which made me wonder how hurt he was about it (he was generally resilient in high school). I just want the thoughts to stop. I want to be able to walk around the mall without feeling like I'm going to run into him. I want to be able to go on a teaching prac and not wonder whether he works at that school.
*- social studies in this case was more examining social issues, rather than society and environment. Years 11 and 12 basically divided society and environment into history, geography, social studies, aboriginal studies and ancient/classical studies.
**- yes my high school allowed you to do a first aid class in year 11 and it counted towards your high school certificate. No, he was not my partner in that class thank god!
) 
(because they didn't have enough wigs and the actual characters were wearing them)
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