Stop Gambling on Us!

[Medea]

Dear friends, family, classmates, supervisor and neighbours,

PLEASE stop betting on when my boyfriend will propose to me!

My step father set up a spreadsheet and everyone has a slot(s). The calendar starts at the start of 2014 and goes until 2020. In order to place a bet, you put in 50p for a 1 week slot. Nobody is allowed to have more than 2 consecutive slots. I reckon there's around 16 quid in the pot now. Whoever gets it right gets the pot.

I'm not allowed to play because I could too easily influence the game. I'm also not allowed to know who picked when.

Of course, all the anniversary, birthday, Christmas and Valentines weeks have been snatched up.

Just... why!? This can't be normal!

I wouldn't be so upset if this were a bit jokier, as in, without the spreadsheet and pot of money!

Bf has no idea what's going on, as far as I know. If he does propose, I hope he does it on some random day that's completely meaningless so that nobody wins.

[Kheldarson]

Ouch. At least it's better than everybody betting on when you'd break up...Kabe and I found out we broke that pool after we got, you know, engaged.

Take it as a compliment but ask them to STFU about it?

[HYHYBT]

The calendar begins *next* year, right?

Tell him about it, and see if you can't get a proposal by Christmas. Then again, that might have been the point of starting the pool in the first place; otherwise, the calendar would start in the present.

[SongsOfDragons]

Insist on getting a 50% cut of the pool.

[Greenday]

Fix it. Let your boyfriend do it whenever, DON'T tell anyone, then when the pot is to your liking, fix it with one of the degenerate gamblers, take half the winnings.

Then once you have the money, tell everyone what you did and rip them for being stupid.

[Ginger Tea]

Skip the engagement and just get married at Gretna green (as 50p was stated OP is in UK else I would have said Vegas).

[MadMike]

I think you're overlooking the obvious solution -- you propose to him. Then everybody loses the stupid bet.

[Medea]

The calendar begins *next* year, right?

Tell him about it, and see if you can't get a proposal by Christmas. Then again, that might have been the point of starting the pool in the first place; otherwise, the calendar would start in the present.

It starts next year because he starts working in September (he's currently finishing his MA), thus he won't really have the money for a ring, let alone a wedding, until then. They've really planned it out quite well, I must admit.

I think you're overlooking the obvious solution -- you propose to him. Then everybody loses the stupid bet.

I LOVE this idea, but sadly I have said to him that the engagement is entirely his responsibility because I took care of all our other relationship milestones (the asking out, the 'getting busy', the L word, the parents etc). It's his turn to pull some weight!

Fix it. Let your boyfriend do it whenever, DON'T tell anyone, then when the pot is to your liking, fix it with one of the degenerate gamblers, take half the winnings.

Then once you have the money, tell everyone what you did and rip them for being stupid.

Anyone who fraternises with me or bf on this matter will not only lose their winnings, they will have to triple the pot, which will be split among everyone else. My step father plans to present the pot as an award at the engagement party.

Skip the engagement and just get married at Gretna green (as 50p was stated OP is in UK else I would have said Vegas).

Fun plan, but I can't go back to Scotland out of shame and guilt because I accidentally shoplifted in Glasgow this one time.

[Kheldarson]

It starts next year because he starts working in September (he's currently finishing his MA), thus he won't really have the money for a ring, let alone a wedding, until then. They've really planned it out quite well, I must admit.

Nope, he's still missing one thing.

Who says you have to have a ring to be engaged? Your bf can still ask you and you can still be engaged without him spending money on a ring. And then you have a long engagement until you can afford the wedding you want. And if that includes a belated engagement ring, that's cool too

But nobody says you have to have a ring anymore. Also, unless you have your heart set on a "traditional" engagement ring of a solitaire diamond or just diamonds in general, you can find some very nice rings in nice settings at much lower costs than the "traditional".

So have him propose, announce it to the family, get ring later. No more betting!

I LOVE this idea, but sadly I have said to him that the engagement is entirely his responsibility because I took care of all our other relationship milestones (the asking out, the 'getting busy', the L word, the parents etc). It's his turn to pull some weight!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who told my intended this

[Andara Bledin]

I'm currently engaged. I'm also currently ring-less. *shrug*

Been engaged for... a couple of years, I think? It was an exceedingly non-formal event. There will be rings and nuptials in the future. Sometime. Eventually.

[Medea]

Nope, he's still missing one thing.

Who says you have to have a ring to be engaged? Your bf can still ask you and you can still be engaged without him spending money on a ring. And then you have a long engagement until you can afford the wedding you want. And if that includes a belated engagement ring, that's cool too

But nobody says you have to have a ring anymore. Also, unless you have your heart set on a "traditional" engagement ring of a solitaire diamond or just diamonds in general, you can find some very nice rings in nice settings at much lower costs than the "traditional".

I know you don't need a ring, and I've tried to tell myself that fairytale weddings are called so for a reason, but I can't lie and say that I don't want one. (I will be handing back my membership card to my university's feminist society as I no longer deserve it thanks to that sentence.)

I really envy people who have nice, simple, stress-free weddings because I want to want that, like they do. I don't know if it's a result of societal conditioning, but I can't help what I want.

[Ginger Tea]

It starts next year because he starts working in September (he's currently finishing his MA), thus he won't really have the money for a ring, let alone a wedding, until then. They've really planned it out quite well, I must admit.

As already posted, ring and effing expensive wedding are not mandatory.
edit, didn't read post above till I hit send.

Fun plan, but I can't go back to Scotland out of shame and guilt because I accidentally shoplifted in Glasgow this one time.

I can't go back to Ramsbottom after that time I was naked in a grave yard next to the police station opposite a rather packed chippy, no wait a minute, I won't go back cos it's Ramsbottom

I was stone cold sober at the time 97 pre facebook, but pics did happen, no idea where they ended up after they were handed around in a pub and even to random strangers.

[Kheldarson]

I know you don't need a ring, and I've tried to tell myself that fairytale weddings are called so for a reason, but I can't lie and say that I don't want one. (I will be handing back my membership card to my university's feminist society as I no longer deserve it thanks to that sentence.)

I really envy people who have nice, simple, stress-free weddings because I want to want that, like they do. I don't know if it's a result of societal conditioning, but I can't help what I want.

If it's a dream, it's a dream. And that's fine

I'm just saying that if you really want to usurp the gambling, maybe you change the dream up a little. He proposes, no ring in hand, and you guys go shopping for a nice one later when you have the money. You plan the wedding when you're ready (Kabe and I were engaged for a couple of years before we tied the knot). I wouldn't suggest going into debt to achieve the dream, but get as close as you can within a budget.

You'll like what happens that day no matter what

But, seriously, you can declare yourself engaged without a ring. You can be married without a ring. All you technically need is a filled out marriage license filed with the state. (Unless you're religious. Then you need another ceremony as well.)

Honestly, I'd say Kabe proposed twice to me. The second time was just a bit more formal than the other (he had a ring). The first though was a bit more heartfelt (we were heading into our long distance phase because of my graduation from college, and he out and said he'd marry me that day if it were possible. Sweetest thing ever.) All it does is make a formal statement of intent, in the sweetest way ever

[Andara Bledin]

I really envy people who have nice, simple, stress-free weddings because I want to want that, like they do. I don't know if it's a result of societal conditioning, but I can't help what I want.

Just because I can accept and take a nice, no-frills situation doesn't mean I don't want a big to-do, myself.

We actually have Plans (tm) for what we're going to be doing when we finally do get hitched. But for us, it's as much an excuse to have a big bash. The wedding part is kind of tertiary, because we're like that. It likely helps that I've done the wedding thing before, and we're both in our 40's and low-key to begin with.

Plus, neither of us has any use at all for tradition. We're gonna make our own.

[Greenday]

Anyone who fraternises with me or bf on this matter will not only lose their winnings, they will have to triple the pot, which will be split among everyone else. My step father plans to present the pot as an award at the engagement party.

Which is why you wait until AFTER the money has been turned over. Then it'd be too late for anyone to punish the person you fixed it with.