Baiters

[blas87]

I hate when people thrive on either creating or being the center of drama, yet when they get people to react (which is stupid, but we've all fallen for it, right?), they bow down, play victim, kick and scream that they don't want trouble, my favorite quote is "I don't need negativity in my life!!!" after they've sent someone over the edge with the intent to do so.

[Andara Bledin]

I'm pretty sure at this point that my brother's girlfriend is one of these.

My brother's no gem, but he doesn't do half the shit that she starts fights with him over.

It's like she can't be happy just being happy and is only really happy when she gets to play the victim. She keeps claiming she's going to leave but never does.

They'll actually break up when either he gets fed up with her juvenile drama bombs, or she finally figures out that he's not going to give her the chance to be the martyr.

[blas87]

My last ex-mistake is a big baiter.

One of my coworkers was the reason I came up with the term "baiter", because she was saying how he tends to bait people by saying or doing something that just barely skirts a fine line, and the reaction he gets from people tends to cross the line, therefore, from an outsiders' point of view, it looks like the reacting party is the crazy one.

Though, anyone who knows him well enough, knows that he'll do something to stir up the pot. It can be anything, really, said or done. Pot gets stirred, someone gets irate, he backs right down and starts on this "I don't need anymore drama in my life, ok? I don't need to be around negative people! If you're going to act that way, I'm not going to associate with you anymore!"

[Andara Bledin]

It sounds like he's a combo shit-stirrer and baiter.

I can see why he's an ex.

[violiav]

Ugh, that's my ex-husband to a T. He even did it in RPGs.

[dendawg]

Sounds like there's a lot of master baiters in this thread.....

What??

[blas87]

Oh, you little dirty devil!!!

I know, I set myself up for that one. It makes more sense spoken, I guess?

I'm assuming the root cause of this behavior is lack of attention growing up, or growing up and acquiring a deep desire for negative attention, because it tends to yield faster than positive attention does to an audience.

Considering his family dynamics, his relationship with his ex wife.....(of course, he paints everyone else out to be the monster.....spend enough time with him and you realize he starts most of the drama), it's spot on, he needs attention, and if he doesn't get it naturally or not enough naturally, he'll shake shit up.

Then, of course, when he gets the reactions he wanted and all focus is on him, he'll back down like an injured dog and start with the "Hey, I just want a nice night out with friends. I don't want any drama or trouble, ok? If you're going to be like that, I don't want you along with us!"

[bara]

Sounds like there's a lot of master baiters in this thread.....

What??

I award you 50 dkp.

[Sarah Valentine]

My asshole ex and my sister do this all the time.

[Lyse]

My eldest niece is like this. She enjoys seeking out things to be outraged and victimized over, but a single inconvenience to her perceived role will be met with tears, accusations of "deliberate triggering" and threats of self harm.

[D_Yeti_Esquire]

I think there's a mistake in trying to psychoanalyze someone over one symptom. And in the case of histrionic people, I actually tend to associate that one (at least in the people I've known) with getting too much attention at some point which may be a function of the people I've known who are like that conforming to that stereotype. For them, normal attention feels like being ignored.

The thing is, most people are the hero of their own story so thinking other people are the problem tends to be the default mode. The question is if they grow out of it or develop empathy.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Friend's boyfriend is like this.

He also just loves suddenly exiling you from his life for however long he deems an appropriate "punishment" - without telling you. Suddenly it's just "I don't wait <exiled person> around." Or whatever.

Best part? He, my friend, and two MORE of my friends all got an apartment together. I still went over there because 3/4 people in the apartment wanted to see me and hang out with me. He would get so pissed, lock himself in his bedroom and refuse to come out or talk to me.

He even stooped so low as to sneak in or out so that no one really knew if he was there or not.

And, of course, everyone was just being cruel and mean to him... because they refused to exile me from an apartment they were all helping to pay for (which, btw, boyfriend baiter was not. He was unemployed.)