Fanfic Pet Hates

[Lace Neil Singer]

This particular user showed up again in a Resident Evil RP as a witch with rainbow coloured eyes. -.- Bitch fucking PLEASE. Do witches of any description belong in Resident Evil? I think not. I believe that everyone was so sick of her by that time, that the next person to post wrote "And the witch was immediately chomped to death by a stray zombie that appeared from nowhere." XD

I had some noob whine about one of my vampire characters; he's virtually indestructable cuz of killing demons, and she was saying he seemed too perfect. Well, he would be in HER hands; in mine, he's a whiny, irritating misogynist with a height complex who doesn't get on with anyone. I doubt I would get on with him either, to be honest, if he was real. XD I'd be seriously tempted to give him a resounding smack around the head.

I've found that a lot of Suethors throw out those accusations, probably in an attempt to divert attention away from their own vapid creation.

[Dreamstalker]

I believe that everyone was so sick of her by that time, that the next person to post wrote "And the witch was immediately chomped to death by a stray zombie that appeared from nowhere." XD

I love Sues in RP...the GM gets a chance to get creative, other players get something to beat on that generally doesn't want to die (we had one Sue-resurrection attempt that was thwarted by a keen GM), and most times the player is too clueless to know what's being done. The ones that do learn are few, in my experience.

I had some noob whine about one of my vampire characters; he's virtually indestructable cuz of killing demons, and she was saying he seemed too perfect.

I've found that a lot of Suethors throw out those accusations, probably in an attempt to divert attention away from their own vapid creation.

No doubt. The coauthor from hell would regularly throw that out...when in fact I was making my character more normal. I think she was just miffed at the fact that I don't subscribe to the "author as god" theory or at least not in the same way she did. Yes, I have the ability to have everyone not get beat up, not wanting to exercise that power doesn't equate with "mean". If I need to resort to a minor miracle, I will at least try to make it make sense.

Everyone wanted to see what it would take for her character to crack. For the record, even a direct encounter with Hastur that almost killed everyone else did nothing O_o (of course she saved the day, next session had her get eaten by a shoggoth which everyone else managed to avoid)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Sounds hilarious. XD

One thing that said noob seemed to miss was that my character might not be able to die, but he can feel pain. O.o As in, he could be stabbed with wood and feel the pain, and pass out, but would eventually heal from it. Everyone would enjoy the break, of course, from his irritatingly whiny and annoying presence.

I've also read fanfic where an author posts notes within the story that defend her Mary Sue, usually denying that it is a Sue but also basically saying "Fukk you if u don't like Fenella Mystick Angle Luesilla Lyawna Belle!!1!!1 She is not a Sue!!1!" As if repeating something that is blatently untrue makes it somehow true. -.-

[Dreamstalker]

Sounds hilarious. XD

Oh, it was. The obviousness of the setup made it even better (how can you not see a giant seething mass of tentacles that is pretty much the only thing in the area?). We think she was in a "if I ignore it it's not actually there" phase...same for her writing.

Did I post a link to the Mary Sue Litmus Test?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Don't think so; the original version, right? There's a few variations around now. XD

[Dreamstalker]

I couldn't find the original-original (ST:TOS started it IIRC), but here's the universal test I have.

http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm (using this one, my character score is 12)

The Ghostbusters-specific one I used to use seems to have gone away (it was hosted on AOL Hometown, and was not migrated before the shutdown).

[Lace Neil Singer]

Mine got 16; he has some tendencies, such as angsty past, orphaned, saw his parents die; but apparently that gets cancelled out by him being short, irritating, unlikeable and someone who I want to slap. XD

There's a good HP one out there, I'll look it up sometime.

[Dreamstalker]

Yeah, mine tends to score higher on the fandom-specific test, but a couple of points are near-unavoidable given the plot. That's easy to change (now I just need to figure out how to do it without screwing up any other continuity--this thing is so massive I don't want to tear it all down if that can be avoided).

[Lace Neil Singer]

The fact is, you can't make an original character have a completely normal, bland past; they might not be a Sue, but they'd be boring as hell. XD The only way forward is to balance the character; if they have one aspect, for example, angsty past, to give them average looks and an unpleasant personality. It's only when a character has angsty past, perfect personality, body, is good at everything and breathtakingly beautiful that they're obviously a sickmaking Mary Sue and should be burned at the stake. O_o

[Dreamstalker]

I recall running across a few characters like that in regular fiction...all the plot hooks in the world will not save excessively boring characters.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Yeah; you have to actually care about the characters to want to know what happens to them.

Another pet hate; mpreg. I loath it when badfic writers drag it in just as a plot device, and do no work to make it sound convincing. For example, making a birth canal and womb magically appear. Men don't have a womb or birth canal. They also can not carry a fetus in their colon or crap a baby out; it's not possible. For one thing, the colon would rupture. For another, the fetus would drown in crap. Only believable mpreg I've ever seen have been Loki from Norse myth (shapeshifter becoming a female with a womb and vagina) and Dave Lister from Red Dwarf (female oriantated universe, males give birth there, universe physical law applies, Caesarian birth).

I have also seen some terrible mpreg; like one where Aragorn was apparently in the battle at Helm's Deep while eight months pregnant. No fucking way can anyone in that state fight. -.-

[Seshat]

The fact is, you can't make an original character have a completely normal, bland past; they might not be a Sue, but they'd be boring as hell.

Firefly: Simon Tam has a completely normal, bland past, right up to the point where he discovers his sister (deleted for spoilers).

Firefly doesn't start at that point, but it does start only a short time after that point. We get to see the effect of (deleted for spoilers) on Simon: that is interesting.

You can do the normal, boring past, as long as you give them an exciting and interesting present and show how the person who came out of that past deals with the present.

[Dreamstalker]

Mpreg...the concept fascinates me I must admit, but I personally have never read a fanfic where it's handled well. Someone went there on my list once o_O Just...NO.

[Lace Neil Singer]

This site I got to in order to read sporkage calls mpreg babies "assbabies". XD Legolas seems to be a common victim of mpreg fantasies for some reason.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I have always been fascinated by mpreg, I have to admit. I finally found myself a healthy outlet for it so I'm not tempted to inflict it on any fic readers...

Cheat codes and the Sims 2!

(Unfortunately, Jeff Hardy is currently pregnant with like, his eighth baby...I'm seriously running out of neighborhood to put all these brats in...)