"But YOU Make/Made Me....."

[blas87]

Nope. Not even close.

Once again, people with no concept of reality, or a tendency to exaggerate and over dramatize.....or just people who like to stir the pot, because life is just so much more fun when people DON'T get along, right?

I'm no one's mother or authority figure. In any sense of the meaning, I have NEVER, EVER, EVER MADE anyone do anything. EVER. I probably shouldn't take it so personally, but even with medication and my new look on life, my blood begins boiling when people pick fights like this with me, and then have the absolute gall to accuse me of making them do something. Something like that that is so far beyond untrue.

I am honestly a very easy-going person. In fact, almost to a fault, I give people all the options they want. I try to avoid any type of tension or arguments by pointing out other options and bringing anything upfront before anything happens, because I cannot stand people who just want to start fights by claiming they were never told something or I "made" them do something or they didn't want to do something with me that I already warned them they wouldn't want to do with me anyway.

And so, I was accused of "making" someone do something with me (shopping). They've asked me multiple times to go a gun show with them. I'm really not interested. I don't have the money for a gun, I really could care less about guns, if I wanted to buy one, I'd give my brother or someone who knows a lot about them money to buy one for me. It's just not that interesting for me. It's not. I have said no, and I get pretty much screamed at for "MAKING" that person always go shopping with me when I flat out say that I'll go alone, or I can meet them later, that they don't have to come with me, I know they don't like shopping.

But no, no. They come with anyway, so if I ever say no to them, I'm not willing to compromise!

[Bloodsoul]

This thread makes me want to listen to "Weird Al" Yankovic.

…but for a more serious response, I'll be truthful that, while my memory is sketchy at best, I've pulled this bullshit on other people before. I mean, I just wouldn't be surprised if it was true, and looking back at it I'd definitely say it was due to irresponsibility on my part or, at the very least, an inability to just come forward about not wanting to do said thing. Well… unless I really was made to do something that ended horribly: "Hey, if you didn't make me mow the lawn that pipe cover… thingy… wouldn't have gotten run over and broke!"*

*Not that it was intentional, just that it was rusted all to Hell and I couldn't see it very well amidst all of the grass on the driveway.

[Greenday]

blas, I need to buy another pair of sneakers and a new pair of sunglasses. YOU MUST COME SHOPPING WITH ME!

[blas87]

I think sales tax is cheaper where I live, hun.....lol!

But I do need to get out of the house a bit........Jersey here I come!!!

[Greenday]

I think sales tax is cheaper where I live, hun.....lol!

But I do need to get out of the house a bit........Jersey here I come!!!

I'm in Texas at the moment actually. Back to Jersey next month.

I think for a lot of people, they don't actually believe they are being made to do anything, but they feel like they are being pressured so the results are still the same.

[Andara Bledin]

The difficulty is that to the people who make such statements, telling them "I'm good to go on my own, you don't have to feel obligated to accompany me," won't help because they don't think like you do.

They have a passive-aggressive mindset where telling someone else that they don't have to do something doesn't actually mean that they don't have to do it.

Once you realize how they're going to take a simple and negotiable request for companionship as a demand for the same, you stop asking them to come. Instead you just tell them that you're going to go do X and that it'll take an estimated Y time and force them to initiate. Then, when they complain that you don't want them to come with you any more (it's pretty much inevitable), you can then tell them that not only did they already complain about going at all but that if they really did want to go why didn't they open their mouth, use their words, and just freaking ask.

You can also try to get them to realize that just because that's how they behave that doesn't mean everybody behaves that way, but it's a difficult task fraught with loads of resentment and the likelihood of being accused of all sorts of other evil things.

[blas87]

Oh yes, I've been there, done that before. Can't understand why so many people act and behave that way. Truly, it's infantile.

[Nekojin]

It's a passive-aggressive thing, and it's actually fairly common. Sadly.

[blas87]

Oh, I'm more than inclined to agree with you. I've already dated the definition of a pro PA person. To the point of it almost being like a severe mental illness mixed with a personality disorder. My God, that guy did nothing but spew double edged swords. You could never, ever, ever guess what was on his mind, but too bad, he was already mad that you didn't know what was on his mind, and how dare you not know, if you really cared, you'd know!

I've found it to be too much of a hassle to have anything more than just regular friends. I don't find myself hanging out with people more than one day a week or a few hours at a time, simply because people just have worn me to the point of mental exhaustion where I risk going back to the panic attacks and severe depression I was in earlier this year when I was dating Mistake (not the PA guy, this guy was just a fucking....piece of shit. Never again will I date anyone with that kind of baggage again).

I just seem to be more successful on my own, have more fun with my brother or my family or just alone. I can hang out with people for a day here and there or an outing for a few hours, but most people and their attitudes or their tendencies just annoy me. I am one of the few people I know who go out of their way to avoid problems and arguments, and it seems I cannot find anyone who is the same. People claim to be the same, but spend some time with them, and you'll see if they don't get whatever they want or all the attention they want, they'll cause arguments or fights.

[BlaqueKatt]

if I wanted to buy one, I'd give my brother or someone who knows a lot about them money to buy one for me.

um don't do that. one: it would be considered a straw purchase* punishable by 10 years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine. and two when I went shopping for a firearm only one of the 25 I tried actually felt comfortable in my hand, and it's not easy to exchange them.

*A “straw purchase” occurs when the actual buyer of a firearm uses another person, a “straw purchaser,” to execute the paperwork necessary to purchase a firearm from a federally licensed firearms dealer. The form asks if you are purchasing for yourself, the person buying a firearm with your money would be turned down if they said no, and saying yes is an automatic felony.

[Nekojin]

Strictly speaking, it's only a "straw purchase" (and illegal) if you're buying the gun for someone who is, themselves, not legally allowed to own or buy guns. It's not against the law (in most jurisdictions) to buy guns for other people who aren't restricted persons - parents buy guns for their children, and guns-as-presents are not at all uncommon.

[Ree]

I thought this thread was about people claiming that someone made them do something they didn't want.

How did we end up discussing gun purchasing?

Talk about massive thread drift.

[blas87]

It was probably my fault....I wasn't very clear in my original post. I did make it sound like "Oh, I don't care what gun I end up getting, my brother will get me one", which does sound incredibly shady.

My only point there was....I'm really not that interested in guns. I'd prefer to shop for other stuff.

[bainsidhe]

I used to have a roommate that would blame her fiance (now hubbie) and myself when she'd blow up in anger about something. Basically she'd be bothered by something and it would build and build until there was this massive blowup with screaming. Say she wanted help picking up the downstairs and she'd casually mention it would me nice if someone did the dishes or took out the trash. But it was said in such an off-hand way and no one realized she meant DO IT and RIGHT NOW. So when of course nobody snapped to immediately, she'd have this massive blowup and it was our fault she was screaming, because we should've done what she asked us to etc etc etc.

Friend is a good person, but that's one thing I don't miss about having a roommate.