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"How dare you not want to spawn!"

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  • #61
    I personally love to care for things, but I also want my space. I know if I had something constantly wanting my attention it would get ugly fast. I can deal with my nephew on short term only. I love him but I don't have the patience to deal with it. I will admit I also want a career and children can get in the way of what you want to do. There are times that I can barely stand my cats being cuddly or crying because they want attention/food.

    I would rather be the cool rich aunt any day. That and revenge for all of the mean things that my brother did to me by spoiling his kids.
    "Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe" -H. G. Wells

    "Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed" -Sir Francis Bacon

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    • #62
      Originally posted by Boozy View Post
      If you're a woman, and you're around 30 and haven't had kids yet....there is actually a very good chance that your genes will tell you to get pregnant. Many women can't replace that urge with more sex and babysitting.

      I'm not saying it's an irresistible urge. But it's definitely there.

      Respectfully disagree I am almost 31, and all I want are more felines. I may grin if a baby is cute, but I have no desire to do anything but grin at it.


      Now kitties, on the other hand....something is telling me to have more (I call him my boyfriend...hahaha)

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      • #63
        Originally posted by Boozy View Post
        If you're a woman, and you're around 30 and haven't had kids yet....there is actually a very good chance that your genes will tell you to get pregnant. Many women can't replace that urge with more sex and babysitting.

        I'm not saying it's an irresistible urge. But it's definitely there.
        Nope, sorry; aged around 30 and no maternal urges at all. I don't hate kids; I just don't want any of my own. It's a bit sexist to assume that all women are natural mothers... just like it is to assume that all men just want to play the field.
        "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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        • #64
          She didn't say ALL women were going to turn into crazy "oh my god, my clock is ticking, must find a sperm donor NOW" beeotches, she just said there was a good chance of it. A good chance /= 100% of all women will experience this.

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          • #65
            Thanks, AFP. I made a point of saying "many" women, and "a very good chance" to make it clear that I didn't mean everyone. No one can say anything is true of 100% of people.

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Boozy View Post
              No one can say anything is true of 100% of people.
              Ya know, statements like that make a challenge for me

              "100% of the people on this planet will die and be unable to be resuscitated if deprived of oxygen for one continuous month."

              "100% of the people on this planet have cells of various types in their bodies."

              I could go one, but will stop being a jerk now

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              • #67
                I've been a huge disappointment to my mother. Since I hit about 18 she's been pestering me for a grandchild. I'm in my 30s now. Last year I had a full hysterectomy. She's finally accepted the fact I never wanted kids and I'm not going to give her a grandchild.
                I agree w/ the sentiment of being sick and tired of being treated like I'm some freak because I don't want any kids. I've taken to telling people I can't have kids. Its true. I can't. I had those parts removed.

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                • #68
                  I would love to be sterlised; however, even tho I'm pushing thirty, I'm still not allowed. Arrgh! *tears hair out* I bet men never go thru all this crap when they want to get a vasectomy.

                  My mum used to push me for grandkids, now tho she's accepted that I will make a terrible mother and am much better as an aunty. Yup, I've held my niece and played with her, but I still don't have any maternal feelings or long for a child of my own. I'm going on holiday soon with my parents, older brother, sister in law and niece; it'll be fun, but ultimately I'm going to stay an aunty. ^^
                  "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Lace Neil Singer View Post
                    I would love to be sterlised; however, even tho I'm pushing thirty, I'm still not allowed. Arrgh! *tears hair out* I bet men never go thru all this crap when they want to get a vasectomy.
                    .... ^^
                    That crap pisses me off and I'm a guy.

                    I admit that I had a little bit of an instinct to procreate when I hit 22 or so. But as I logically don't want kids, I pushed it down.

                    My girlfriend absolutely never wants to have kids, but she gets the runaround like you do.

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                    • #70
                      Im almost 26 and still have no desire to have kids any time soon ... and by soon in the next 10 years

                      My bf wants kids bad, he would have a kid already if I hadn't been so anti children. He does understand though that it means a much larger commitment on the outset at least on my part. I have to give up a lot of my favourite stuff for a year or so to have a kid.

                      Im just not ready to do that.
                      Im lucky my brother and his gf had a kid already which at least gets my Mum off my back. K's mother is another topic all together.
                      I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ - Gandhi

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                      • #71
                        I'm 25 and knew as a kid that I did not want to have children. Hell, I've never even had sex (nor do I really desire it other than for sheer curiosity)! So while I haven't been pestered really directly, it has come up in conversations between me and others. Now, while most people I end up talking to are younger, they don't seem to realize I'm 25. Therefore, I am an a grown adult capable of making my own life decisions. If I come to regret my decisions, it is MY OWN FAULT.

                        I even say to these people that I'm not against the idea I might change my mind about having children. Hey, life-altering experiences do happen. However, what's wrong with adoption? One of the things I do mention is that if I change my mind, that is the route I'm going. While I understand the natual desire to rear your own children that YOU make, I also think it's insanely selfish to NOT be willing to love a child on the grounds that they don't posess your DNA (while yes, adoption is expensive and takes time, what about all those couples out there who spend just as much time and money on fertility treatments?).

                        I've suspected for years without conciously realizing it until recent ones that I'm probably going to grow up as the single old cat lady who lives upstairs. And I'm FINE with that. Kitties are awsome. But nope, there's a stigma against that. Apparently, human children are good and kitties are the devil. Not that I'd be a hoarder mind you, with the 2 cats we have now, they are MORE than enough for us. While one of them is technically not mine (its my sisters, who moved out but does not live in an area where the cat can go outside safely, and that's one thing her cat LOVES to do and its emotional torture to deny her it. We've seen it.), I love them and dote on them as children, as much as I can with the species barrier.


                        Thankfully, my parents are awsome about this whole thing. While they don't know of my plans to not breed, since I'm not in any sort of relationship (and neither is my sister), its a non-factor anyway. In fact, for a few years, when their friends and family started to become grandparents, my mom at least, used to mention she didn't want them yet. Now that they have 2 new ones, of course they're happy, but they're not pushing children on us by any means. They understand that the decision to have, or not have, children is a personal one between every couple, and should be respected. Raising children is NOT an easy job, and it's not something everyone out there is willing to do.

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Akasa View Post
                          Since I hit about 18 she's been pestering me for a grandchild.
                          My mom already has 3 -- one from me and one from my brother. But her thing was that she wanted a granddaughter, and all her grandkids turned out to be boys. What she seems to forget is that there are no guarantees. Even if my brother or I decided on more, that doesn't mean that they'd be girls. For the last two generations, the men in my family have produced nothing but boys. There hasn't been a girl born into my side of the family in over 60 years.

                          Originally posted by Akasa View Post
                          I've taken to telling people I can't have kids. Its true. I can't. I had those parts removed.
                          If anyone decides to start pestering again (hasn't happened in roughly 2 years, thankfully), I might have to go the same route, leaving out the fact that I made the decision to have a vasectomy.
                          --- I want the republicans out of my bedroom, the democrats out of my wallet, and both out of my first and second amendment rights. Whether you are part of the anal-retentive overly politically-correct left, or the bible-thumping bellowing right, get out of the thought control business --- Alan Nathan

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