Ignorant Homophobic Remarks

[Greenday]

After I was done with work today and was just hanging around, I asked a co-worker for his opinion on some issue. (A gay guy worked at a private Catholic school and was fired for getting married to his boyfriend, which was against the contract he signed when he started the job. Wanted to know if he felt it was legal to really fire him for it. Not his opinion on gay marriage or being gay in general).

After maybe only five seconds of answering my question, he goes off on a tangent about how people are trying to put religion down. Then he said "I don't think they should be teaching kids anyway." I knew what he was getting at but gave him a chance to half-ass get out of it. Instead, I got "Well, would YOU want kids to be taught by...one of them?"

This blew my mind. This is supposed to be a pretty intelligent person. Does he honestly believe all gay people want to molest children? Other comments in the article killed me. People saying they don't think gays should indoctrinate children because they'll just try to make kids gay, etc.

How do gay people deal with this?

[Andara Bledin]

I'd have pressed him on who "they" were and why they couldn't be just as good at teaching as anyone else.

And then maybe thrown in the pedophile priests just to be bitchy.

[HYHYBT]

There are a few topics I won't discuss with "real people" unless they insist. This story, especially with the comments added (on the version I read, though no doubt they're similar anywhere) covers most of them one way or another.

[Rapscallion]

"Well, would YOU want kids to be taught by...one of them?"

"What? Not every Catholic is a child abusing priest."

Rapscallion

[lordlundar]

Ignorant Homophobic Remarks

Isn't that redundant?

[LewisLegion]

Depends on the person. If its a coworker I know well and we have a rapport, and I know I can talk to them like an adult, I'll engage a calm discussion with them to find out the root of their feelings and offer another perspective. A lot of people are just ignorant. They don't know gay people, or don't know that they know them, so all they have is a longstanding media or religious stereotype in their heads. They spout what they hear. Most are open minded enough that if you present calm logic, it at least makes them think.

For example 'Would you want your kids being taught by one of...them?'

My response- 'How do you mean?'

"Well, everyone knows that gay men molest kids, right?'

"That's actually incorrect. Kids are more likely to be molested by a straight male family member than any other demographic. You can check it out on the CDC. It's a common but misguided belief that because a man is attracted to other men, he will also them be attracted to little boys. But when you think about it it doesn't really make sense. I mean, you're a straight married man, correct? You're attracted to women, right? Does that mean that you are de facto attracted then to underage girls? Of course not.'

I also tend to point out that they're ignoring half the gay population-lesbians. They're still gay, and they are the least likely demographic to ever molest kids at all, even behind straight women.

If its not someone I have a good rapport with, or don't know, I tend to just walk away from the conversation. May not always be the best course of action, I grant you, but if you know someone will just argue for arguments sake, and people are going to get upset over it, then there's a time or place for that conversation and its not necessarily the time or place you are currently in. Also, overhearing such comments I find a bit irritating, but mostly I just ignore them. I *know* myself and other gay people, and I *know* the commenter is completely wrong. No matter what they say or think, it does not change who I am or my friends are as people. Repeating a lie does not make it a truth.

I cannot tell you how often I have heard that gay people are all drug and sex addicts and live a self-destructive lifestyle, how inside they are miserable and just looking for excuses to continue their hedonistic ways. All I have to do to know how horribly wrong that is is look at myself and my friends. They are flat out incorrect, and getting upset with them or carrying around that negativity with me because of their incorrect and obviously malinformed opinion makes as much sense- to me- as getting upset and brooding over it when someone says 'The world is flat and anyone who doesn't believe it is a shill who has fallen for the evil marxist agenda!!'

So, in short, I correct and open a dialogue with people I know are going to be respectful about the matter, and I ignore those that will be attacking, pigheaded, or are willfully ignorant and refuse to hear any other opinion than their own. When necessary, I do let them know that yes, in fact, they do know a gay person and they're talking to her right now. For anyone that knows me, that's usually enough to get them rethinking matters.

[LewisLegion]

Also, on the trying to make kids gay conversation, most people still genuinely believe its a choice...they either are unaware of the science or refuse to believe it (because their church says its falsified or that it doesn't exist, etc.). They are usually stuck rather hard in that mindset, so to them since it is a choice, it is something kids can be talked into trying. That's a tough battle to fight, because willful ignorance is the worst kind of stubborn out there. You can't teach someone that adamantly refuses to learn.

Everyone that knows it isn't a choice...such as every gay person in existance and every major medical organization worldwide...sees that concern as what it is...ludicrous. They know you can no more convince a child to be gay if he or she is not, than you can convince a short person to 'just be tall' or a brown eyed person to just 'have blue eyes'. 'If we let kids know blue eyed people exist, they'll suddenly decide to have blue eyes!' Ridiculous.

It's getting people to realize that it is in fact a biological thing and not a choice thing that's the rub. Sometimes I even make the argument from their perspective. 'Ok, say it IS a choice. Say it is one hundred percent a choice. Why is that justification to treat us like second class citizens or deny us the right to marry the of-age fully consenting person we love? Why, if it IS a choice, is the choice YOU made the right one and ours the wrong, if no one is being harmed?'

Usually makes them think.

[Kheldarson]

"What? Not every Catholic is a child abusing priest."

Rapscallion

Oh, I love that answer

[Rapscallion]

Oh, I love that answer

To be fair, it's a bit of an easy shot to take...

Rapscallion

[wolfie]

I also tend to point out that they're ignoring half the gay population-lesbians. They're still gay, and they are the least likely demographic to ever molest kids at all, even behind straight women.

A while back, in another thread (about the Boy Scouts' policy of "no gay volunteers", which was gender-neutral), I mentioned that I'd LOVE to see their reasoning as to why they though lesbians posed a greater risk than straight women of molesting adolescent boys.

[Greenday]

A while back, in another thread (about the Boy Scouts' policy of "no gay volunteers", which was gender-neutral), I mentioned that I'd LOVE to see their reasoning as to why they though lesbians posed a greater risk than straight women of molesting adolescent boys.

Didn't you know that all lesbians secretly want to become worshipers of the penis? Just waiting for the right male to convert them, that's all.

[fireheart17]

I also tend to point out that they're ignoring half the gay population-lesbians. They're still gay, and they are the least likely demographic to ever molest kids at all, even behind straight women.

That tends to come from two things:

-Lesbians are HAWT.

-Faux lesbians.

I cannot tell you how often I have heard that gay people are all drug and sex addicts and live a self-destructive lifestyle, how inside they are miserable and just looking for excuses to continue their hedonistic ways.

Or that they carry HIV/AIDS or similar.

Oddly enough, the one gay bar in Adelaide looks like every other bar in Adelaide...

Everyone that knows it isn't a choice...such as every gay person in existance and every major medical organization worldwide...sees that concern as what it is...ludicrous. .

Then you get those people who are anti-medicine/anti-science in general.

Hell, I had some idiot the other day who was convinced that the surveys done by groups such as Roy Morgan (who have been around for YEARS) were loaded or gay-sponsored!

[HYHYBT]

I mentioned that I'd LOVE to see their reasoning as to why they though lesbians posed a greater risk than straight women of molesting adolescent boys.

Reasoning is not in the picture.

[wolfie]

Reasoning is not in the picture.

In the thread I was referring to, their (public) argument as to why they needed to ban gay volunteers was because of the risk of molestation. My POV: OK, you say this, and then you also ban lesbian volunteers - WHY do you think lesbians are more likely than straight women to molest adolescent boys?

[HYHYBT]

Yes, I know that, hence my response.