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Our "adopted" grandma
I swear to God I should've hurt her today. Maybe she would've gotten the message. 
Bit of background: This is the second time I've lived in my current state. The first time was with my parents and rest of family (as in not with hubs and child), which is when we met C and D. D is a mascot maker who needed a seamstress, so my mom started working for him and cemented a friendship between her and C and D. So after we left and then I moved back several years later, it made sense to keep up with them as they were family friends.
How I wish I had left it there.
TL;DR version of the following, C, who was a major help through my pregnancy, became a slightly overbearing grandma to my son, making me uncomfortable to want to be around her with him.
[background]
When we found out I was pregnant, we were more than a little underprepared. Kabe's mom is infinitely pragmatic and would help us with things if we asked directly, but really wouldn't contribute to the suggesting of things we'd need to do to prepare. My mom lives several states away and was only able to come up a couple of times to help out, including while I was on bed rest. She asked C to help us out, and I gratefully accepted the help since we needed help navigating government aid forms and such, which she had experience with.
When we weren't sure if Kabe could come to my pregnancy prep classes, she stepped up to help out. She was also one of the few people who understood the fact that I really disliked being pregnant but that it would probably be okay in the end. She was there when our son was born and helped keep my folks informed since they couldn't come up until after it was all said and done.
I was sorely grateful for the help.
The trouble started after we got settled back at home. She messaged me and offered to take our little guy for a few hours so we could get some rest. Being a new parent, I felt uneasy about it, but I knew I needed some solid rest, so agreed. As we were packing him up to go with her, she started making comments about how she was "going to keep him a day or two or more" and how we'd "see him eventually".
I asked point blank when she was going to be bringing him back and pressed for an answer which seemed to surprise her. To be fair, she did show up when she said she would.
She came by a couple more times after that, making similar comments each time. The third and final time she did, I told her that I didn't really like him going off, trying to find a polite opening to tell her how her comments were affecting me, but her response blew me away. She told me, "Tough! You got to get used to it now, Mom!" before she went out the door.
Well, soon after that, we had a power outage on a pretty hot day. They still had power, so we went over to visit and stay in A/C with our now month-old son. She immediately takes him and soon after is on Skype with my mom going "Look who I've got" in a sing-song voice. My mom, who's been lamenting to me about the fact she can't be up more to see her first grandchild and that we can't come down more. But Mom and C are friends, so that's on Mom on how she wants to deal with it. For me, it was just one more thing that was bugging me on how she was acting around my son.
If it wasn't for the fact that I had to scramble for a babysitter soon after that for a job interview, that would've been the last time for a while. But, alas, the job interview popped up (I was e-mailed a time and date with no prior notification of this job at all. But being a state job, I wasn't going to say no...), so I called her. She offered to take him for a walk around the area as I interviewed since it was downtown. Sounds great. We meet up, I get him settled into her car, go to get the stroller. Come back, she's grinning like mad.
"I wasn't sure if you'd mind, but I put it on him anyway." He's now wearing a bib that says "I <3 Grandma". Frankly, I don't care that she put it on him, but it did strike me strange that she specifically noted that my opinion on this didn't matter. Combined with her previous behavior, I start wanting to really limit my time around her.
We don't see her again until the night before Son's baptism, which was uneventful and mostly her getting to visit with my mom. She cancelled coming to the actual event the next day though. But that's life.
We then met up around Christmas so she could give me some things for Son. Again, cue the comments about taking him home with her. But he's napping in his stroller, so I'm not worried too much.
[End Background]
Which leads us to today. As I posted on CS, we're going through a major water crisis right now. The night we were told that we needed to go get water, we were basically right behind all the crowds, so couldn't get any. I made a post on FB asking if anybody knew where some might be for sale.
She commented that this is why she keeps extra bottles around the house despite being told she's crazy. No offer of help, no suggestions of what to do. She much later in the evening messages me that I can come fill up if need be at her house, since she's in one of the safe areas (she gets her water from a different source). Another friend had already offered her place, so I thanked C at that point and left it at that.
Well, plans got changed (friend and her family woke up with the flu), and given the history with C and not wanting to feel further obligation to her, we decided to take our chances finding water at the distribution centers. Didn't pan out. But the Wal-Mart near her had opened up one of its water pumps, so I figured we could go there, and if that still didn't pan out, we could then, yes, go to C's.
We got filled up (Yay!) but decided to pop in and do some light shopping since that Mart sells things you can't get at our local Mart. Our luck further increased; they were getting ready to pull out some more water! So we waited in line.
I then start feeling somebody trying to TUG MY SON OUT OF MY ARMS. I start, reel back with him, the tugging keeps going. I then realize it's C. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something to the effect of "C! No! No! No! Quit!"
Her response was, "Kheldarson, Kheldarson, calm down, calm down, it's okay." She apologized, with a "but it was just me"...before asking to hold Son again. Which stupid me did since I didn't want to make a scene around the water line since there've been riots around town.
And once again, as she's holding him, she starts making comments about keeping him.
And my mom can't understand why I'm still pissed since C "said she was sorry" and C "just wasn't thinking".
Next time C is getting kicked.
Bit of background: This is the second time I've lived in my current state. The first time was with my parents and rest of family (as in not with hubs and child), which is when we met C and D. D is a mascot maker who needed a seamstress, so my mom started working for him and cemented a friendship between her and C and D. So after we left and then I moved back several years later, it made sense to keep up with them as they were family friends.
How I wish I had left it there.
TL;DR version of the following, C, who was a major help through my pregnancy, became a slightly overbearing grandma to my son, making me uncomfortable to want to be around her with him.
[background]
When we found out I was pregnant, we were more than a little underprepared. Kabe's mom is infinitely pragmatic and would help us with things if we asked directly, but really wouldn't contribute to the suggesting of things we'd need to do to prepare. My mom lives several states away and was only able to come up a couple of times to help out, including while I was on bed rest. She asked C to help us out, and I gratefully accepted the help since we needed help navigating government aid forms and such, which she had experience with.
When we weren't sure if Kabe could come to my pregnancy prep classes, she stepped up to help out. She was also one of the few people who understood the fact that I really disliked being pregnant but that it would probably be okay in the end. She was there when our son was born and helped keep my folks informed since they couldn't come up until after it was all said and done.
I was sorely grateful for the help.
The trouble started after we got settled back at home. She messaged me and offered to take our little guy for a few hours so we could get some rest. Being a new parent, I felt uneasy about it, but I knew I needed some solid rest, so agreed. As we were packing him up to go with her, she started making comments about how she was "going to keep him a day or two or more" and how we'd "see him eventually".
I asked point blank when she was going to be bringing him back and pressed for an answer which seemed to surprise her. To be fair, she did show up when she said she would.
She came by a couple more times after that, making similar comments each time. The third and final time she did, I told her that I didn't really like him going off, trying to find a polite opening to tell her how her comments were affecting me, but her response blew me away. She told me, "Tough! You got to get used to it now, Mom!" before she went out the door.
Well, soon after that, we had a power outage on a pretty hot day. They still had power, so we went over to visit and stay in A/C with our now month-old son. She immediately takes him and soon after is on Skype with my mom going "Look who I've got" in a sing-song voice. My mom, who's been lamenting to me about the fact she can't be up more to see her first grandchild and that we can't come down more. But Mom and C are friends, so that's on Mom on how she wants to deal with it. For me, it was just one more thing that was bugging me on how she was acting around my son.
If it wasn't for the fact that I had to scramble for a babysitter soon after that for a job interview, that would've been the last time for a while. But, alas, the job interview popped up (I was e-mailed a time and date with no prior notification of this job at all. But being a state job, I wasn't going to say no...), so I called her. She offered to take him for a walk around the area as I interviewed since it was downtown. Sounds great. We meet up, I get him settled into her car, go to get the stroller. Come back, she's grinning like mad.
"I wasn't sure if you'd mind, but I put it on him anyway." He's now wearing a bib that says "I <3 Grandma". Frankly, I don't care that she put it on him, but it did strike me strange that she specifically noted that my opinion on this didn't matter. Combined with her previous behavior, I start wanting to really limit my time around her.
We don't see her again until the night before Son's baptism, which was uneventful and mostly her getting to visit with my mom. She cancelled coming to the actual event the next day though. But that's life.
We then met up around Christmas so she could give me some things for Son. Again, cue the comments about taking him home with her. But he's napping in his stroller, so I'm not worried too much.
[End Background]
Which leads us to today. As I posted on CS, we're going through a major water crisis right now. The night we were told that we needed to go get water, we were basically right behind all the crowds, so couldn't get any. I made a post on FB asking if anybody knew where some might be for sale.
She commented that this is why she keeps extra bottles around the house despite being told she's crazy. No offer of help, no suggestions of what to do. She much later in the evening messages me that I can come fill up if need be at her house, since she's in one of the safe areas (she gets her water from a different source). Another friend had already offered her place, so I thanked C at that point and left it at that.
Well, plans got changed (friend and her family woke up with the flu), and given the history with C and not wanting to feel further obligation to her, we decided to take our chances finding water at the distribution centers. Didn't pan out. But the Wal-Mart near her had opened up one of its water pumps, so I figured we could go there, and if that still didn't pan out, we could then, yes, go to C's.
We got filled up (Yay!) but decided to pop in and do some light shopping since that Mart sells things you can't get at our local Mart. Our luck further increased; they were getting ready to pull out some more water! So we waited in line.
I then start feeling somebody trying to TUG MY SON OUT OF MY ARMS. I start, reel back with him, the tugging keeps going. I then realize it's C. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something to the effect of "C! No! No! No! Quit!"
Her response was, "Kheldarson, Kheldarson, calm down, calm down, it's okay." She apologized, with a "but it was just me"...before asking to hold Son again. Which stupid me did since I didn't want to make a scene around the water line since there've been riots around town.
And once again, as she's holding him, she starts making comments about keeping him.
And my mom can't understand why I'm still pissed since C "said she was sorry" and C "just wasn't thinking".
Next time C is getting kicked.
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