'Has it happened yet, well there must be something wrong with you!'

[Forensic Waitress]

I was just reading the post about people bugging others that do not wish to have children. I also think that that is very rude and also none of other people's business. For me I am on another spectrum of being bugged about something and that is me and my wonderful partner are trying to have our first child and as of yet (6 months to be exact) we have still yet to conceive.

Obviously we let the parents know our plans and due to some really upsetting months for me a few other members of my family found out, who I really didn't want to know. You want to know why because it has started the whole 'are you pregnant yet?' And then the comments about just how easy it was for them and that even if they stood in the same room they would fall pregnant. Completely ignoring the fact that this is a very upsetting and hard process for us.

It got even worse when I was buying some stuff at the supermarket and was standing behind this woman with children that are running around like mad men and she is talking to her friend how her sister has still yet to conceive and being the god fearing person that she was said that it must be something wrong with them and that it must be gods will that only she have children in the family. Well being all hormonal and after another fruitless month I snapped at her saying not everyone had the luxury of falling pregnant straight away and how did god's plan fit into a patient who came through my pathology lab who was having their usual blood screens for pregnancy and also was HIV positive. That child has an extremely small chance of survival but according to her it was god's plan. I'm sorry if I offend any one with this but I have a hard time believing in god especially when stuff like this happens.

Hope this hasn't offended anyone but I needed to get my rant off my chest. I also want people to shut up too.

[Flyndaran]

If a fertile couple had sex every single day in a month the chances of pregnancy are still less than 1 in 4.
Six months is barely long enough to worry.

Sadly, it sounds like you were the rude one by butting into someone's private conversation. The fact that so many prefer to have private conversations in public is one of my pet peeves. But you were the one that initiated contact.

If I were a woman and in your situation, I would have felt irritation in someone mentioning god at all. Knowing that, I would have avoided talking to such a person in the first place. It would, and obviously did, just lead to more harsh words and feelings for you.

[Rapscallion]

Sadly, it sounds like you were the rude one by butting into someone's private conversation. The fact that so many prefer to have private conversations in public is one of my pet peeves. But you were the one that initiated contact.

If I were a woman and in your situation, I would have felt irritation in someone mentioning god at all. Knowing that, I would have avoided talking to such a person in the first place. It would, and obviously did, just lead to more harsh words and feelings for you.

That's uncool. Forensic Waitress wasn't asking about the appropriateness of her actions.

Rapscallion

[Boozy]

I'm sorry that so many people are bothering you about this. Don't allow them to stress you out.

Trying for kids is supposed to be a fun and intimate time for you and your partner. It's no one else's business.

Some people have trouble being supportive without offering "helpful" advice. They're almost certainly well-intentioned, and probably don't understand that what they're doing isn't helpful at all. Your family should be offering an ear, and nothing else.

[Sylvia727]

Yup. Family and friends should lend an ear and a shoulder. If they want to know, which I assume they do as they care about you, the polite way to ask is, "So, how is life going?", thus giving you an opening to talk about whatever you want. Also, I don't know the specifics, but you said that certain of your family found out when you didn't want them to. The polite thing for them to do is butt out entirely, and act pleasantly surprised when you finally make the happy anouncement. It's obviously none of their business. "Well, there must be something wrong with you" should never uttered. At all.

[Flyndaran]

That's uncool. Forensic Waitress wasn't asking about the appropriateness of her actions.

Rapscallion

Giving an example of how people are rude when said persons are talking privately and the teller is the one actually being rude kind of destroyed her whole point. Pointing that out is not uncool.
She should have simply rephrased her complaint

[PepperElf]

must be gods will that only she have children in the family.

Apparently it's also God's will that the mother in question lord it over her sister with arrogance?

Seriously wtf?

My own parents were told they couldn't conceive due to complications on both sides and decided to adopt instead. They ended up competing with another family for a boy but backed out when Mom got pregnant. (it turned out a vacation to a cold region was all they needed...the lower temperature affected the sperm count).

My own take on things... if it happens it happens, if not there's also adoption... but I do wish you lots of luck!

[boringscreenname]

When we were trying to conceive we didn't tell anyone about it, not even our parents. When we made the announcement they were all surprised. I couldn't deal with people constantly asking if I was pregnant yet, so we just didn't tell anyone and made sure no one found out ahead of time.

Oh and it doesn't end after you do get pregnant. Then you get the "Do you know what you're having yet"? "Do you have a name picked out yet?" and my personal favorite, "Haven't you had that baby yet?"

It doesn't stop once the baby is born either, then you get the "Is the baby sleeping through the night yet?" Is the baby eating table food yet?" and all sorts of other questions, it seems like the questions will never stop.

Good luck! :-)