Why?

[gremcint]

I really hate that question sometimes, because a lot of times the answer doesn't matter.

There's a nickname I don't like to be called, and every now and then someone will call me it and I'll ask them not to and they ask why. Because I asked you, it's that simple, I don't have to explain why I don't like being called something.

I don't have to explain why I don't like a movie or a food, I don't have to explain why I like a certain color or game, and sometimes the answer to the question is none of your business.

[bara]

Sometimes why does matter, but if something makes you uncomfortable then the 'why' only matters to you.

[Andrew B]

bara, you have a point, but sometimes the answer is simply, "I simply don't like being called that name".

[HYHYBT]

You don't have to answer, but there's no excuse for blaming people for wondering why, *no matter what the question is about.* And unless it's an area where it's flat out rude to ask, no excuse to blame them for asking either.

If you don't want to discuss it, say so. And if the answer *really is* "I don't know, I just don't," saying that should be the end of it. But expecting people never to wonder why (whatever strikes them as odd) isn't reasonable.

Now, if they're just doing it because they refuse to accept you don't like whatever, that's different.

[Rageaholic]

I get exactly what the OP is saying. Asking why is usually a sign of curiosity, but there are also times when asking "why" is demanding a justification. So when some annoying kid down the street asks me why I ride my bike, it can easily come across as "justify to me why you ride a bike". This isn't always the case, I'm sure some have asked this question as a sign of genuine curiosity, but it's usually pretty obvious when they just want to be annoying.

Another example would be a manager asking why you screwed up. If they're just trying to figure out what went wrong, they phrase it exactly that way to try to find the answer. It might be uncomfortable being scrutinized, but at least you can understand why such a question would be necessary. But outright asking "why did you screw up" is almost always going to sound douchey, especially when they obviously know the answer and just want to humiliate their employee (ie; force them to answer a certain way to make them look bad).

Basically, it depends on the tone and phrasing.

[MadMike]

I get exactly what the OP is saying. Asking why is usually a sign of curiosity, but there are also times when asking "why" is demanding a justification.

People trying to sell you junk you don't want are especially bad for this. You tell them you're not interested, and they want to know why. After a third person from a certain phone company showed up at my door, I got a little annoyed. I explained to her that I told the last two guys from her company that I was not interested. And of course, she wanted to know WHY I wasn't interested. I simply told her, "I have my reasons and I do not wish to discuss them." That seemed to shut her down.

[siead_lietrathua]

i don't mind most why's. i just hate when people do that animaniacs mindy "why? why? why? ok lady i luv you baibai" shit.
especially when it's just because they are too damn lazy to use their brains.
"what ya doin?"
"cleaning the machine"
"why?"
"... cuz it's dirty"
"why?"
"cuz the floorsweeper kicks up dust"
"why?"
"BECAUSE EVIL LEPRECHAUNS SHUDDUP AND LET ME WORK!"

[bex1218]

I hate the condescending "why" questions. Or the "I will keep badgering you till you give me the answer I want to hear".

Example- I didn't do my homework because I just didn't. There was really no reason as to why. My dad kept pestering me about it. He wanted to come up with some stupid psychological reason behind it. Like I wanted attention or something. I can understand his reasoning. School work is important. Just his tone and constant badgering sucked the life out of you. Oh and I still don't know why I didn't do my work and its been 5 years since I set foot into a school.

[TheHuckster]

I hate the condescending "why" questions. Or the "I will keep badgering you till you give me the answer I want to hear".

Example- I didn't do my homework because I just didn't. There was really no reason as to why. My dad kept pestering me about it. He wanted to come up with some stupid psychological reason behind it. Like I wanted attention or something. I can understand his reasoning. School work is important. Just his tone and constant badgering sucked the life out of you. Oh and I still don't know why I didn't do my work and its been 5 years since I set foot into a school.

Yeah, sometimes I'd make a mistake like a typo or whatever, and someone would ask me "why did you say 'teh' instead of 'the' in this document?"

Is this a trick question? Did you seriously think I had a reason besides my fingers hit the 'e' before the 'h' and I didn't catch it before saving and submitting it, and that I should, in the future, spend a little more time proofreading it?

[Rageaholic]

^

Those are the "Why" questions I hate the most. The ones where they ask you why you made a mistake. Well if I had a reason for making the mistake, it wouldn't be a mistake now would it?

And on the topic endless "Why" questions, I thought this was relevent.

[HYHYBT]

Well if I had a reason for making the mistake, it wouldn't be a mistake now would it?

Sure it would. Even setting aside that "I hit the keys in the wrong order and didn't notice" is itself a reason.

If you'd typed "teh" because you thought that was the correct spelling, it would still be a mistake, just a different one.

[DGoddess]

People trying to sell you junk you don't want are especially bad for this. You tell them you're not interested, and they want to know why. After a third person from a certain phone company showed up at my door, I got a little annoyed. I explained to her that I told the last two guys from her company that I was not interested. And of course, she wanted to know WHY I wasn't interested. I simply told her, "I have my reasons and I do not wish to discuss them." That seemed to shut her down.

Also, at least IMO, not every question needs a "why" - sometimes it just is and, depending on the situation, I'm not about to defend my answer to someone who isn't worth it.

Doesn't make a damn why . . . it's because I say so and that's how it is. I can tell you why but if you respond with "why the why?" then all bets are off for me.

If you can't process a simple explanation, then go pound sand.

[HYHYBT]

Then I hope you're not the kind of person whose first "explanation" doesn't explain anything. Because that's obnoxious, especially when people then act like they have explained when they haven't and that it's unreasonable not to join in their pretense that the non-explanation was meaningful.

[BlaqueKatt]

Then I hope you're not the kind of person whose first "explanation" doesn't explain anything. Because that's obnoxious, especially when people then act like they have explained when they haven't and that it's unreasonable not to join in their pretense that the non-explanation was meaningful.

Personally I think it's *more* obnoxious to think you're somehow owed an explanation by virtue of nothing exactly.

Someone says "don't do x, please" there is zero reason to pry, people are nosy, yes it's natural to be curious, but it's also natural to have some damn tact. I can wonder privately, it's not the end of the world, or even remotely important why samantha doesn't want to be called sammie. Honestly the only purpose even asking serves is my curiosity, which is a tad selfish as far as motives go.

[bex1218]

If I am getting asked to buy something by a sales person and say no, I shouldn't have to give any reason than "I just don't want it".

Other things like my example should have had an explanation, but I didn't. I still have none to this day. Unsatisfactory maybe, but it hasn't given me any regrets. I still passed with a 3.2 average. And I got to see my dad's true side come out over the years.