Being "non-PC" apparently is too much for some people....

[protege]

which tells me you didn't bother reading the link(or even reading the title).

Actually, I *did* read the article. Bored me to tears. But, the fact still remains--my boss would have said that if the "offended" party didn't like something...that they needed to grow a thicker skin. That's the way he is, and the way the business is.

There's a *reason* why most people make fun of the neighborhood we're located in. Simply put, it's a dump. 80% of the properties near us are abandoned or owned by slumlords that don't maintain them. Of those, about half are either padlocked because of no utilities or condemned because they're simply unsafe to live in. Throw in the fact that there have been several high-profile robberies, assaults (one of which happened right outside our door!), and raids by SWAT teams on the building next door...it's no wonder why most of us look down on the place.

[Andara Bledin]

I love the whole rationalization of "well, he wouldn't stop me, so it's totally ok for me to do this" to excuse what would otherwise be unacceptable behavior.

Just because something is a fact doesn't really make it ok to say in all situations.

I mean, unless you're selfish, self-centered, an asshole, or a sociopath, or otherwise don't consider other people's interests when they conflict with your own. (this is a generic 'you' despite most likely applying to one or more people participating in this thread)

[Gravekeeper]

^^^^^^
And GK, just an FYI. I'm a huge supporter of women's rights (equal pay, etc), I am pro choice, and if you look at my blog page I wrote a whole post about defending women on the subject of victim blaming (Which you seem to have chosen to completely ignore).

But yet, I'm sexist for having the guts to call out a specific group of people that like to demonize pretty much an entire industry (Glamour, not fashion BTW).

If that makes me a sexist to you, then so be it.

I did not ignore it, it is just irrelevant. It does not negate what you said in other blog posts. You can list all the professed virtues you want it doesn't excuse you from criticism. Its like saying you think all black people are lazy welfare bums but you're okay with asians therefore you're not being racist. Thats not how it works.

This has absolutely nothing to do with "guts". You are not brave, edgy, a champion of free speech or "Telling it like it is" or whatever else. You are not being victimized, marginalized or persecuted despite your attempts to dismiss criticism as coming entirely from one fictional group or another. As a straight male you already occupy a position of priviledge in society.

The fact you could not even recognize that your friend was being a dick in your own example was especially telling.

[HEMI6point1]

The fact you could not even recognize that your friend was being a dick in your own example was especially telling.

You know what? I should have mentioned this earlier, but I asked my friend why he kept trying to be "chivalrous" when she didn't like it.

He told me, "In hindsight I should have stopped, but I was raised to believe that women like Chivalry. It makes me wonder what is going through her mind to think that for example opening the door for her is now a bad thing to actually do."

[Kheldarson]

You know what? I should have mentioned this earlier, but I asked my friend why he kept trying to be "chivalrous" when she didn't like it.

He told me, "In hindsight I should I should have stopped, but I was raised to believe that women like Chivalry. It makes me wonder what is going through her mind to think that for example opening the door for her is now a bad thing to actually do."

So...now it's the girl's fault again for telling your friend she doesn't like something that he was doing because it goes against how he was raised?

Your friend's still a jerk, and you still don't get it.

[s_stabeler]

No, it means he realises he was wrong to act that way- however, from his perspective, he was acting the way you are supposed to act to a woman- because he was taught, as a kid, that you do things like open doors for women.

To put it another way: there is a difference between being a jerk, and being ignorant. HEM126's friend was ignorant of the fact that his date didn't like his chivalry- but was not actually a jerk.

[Kheldarson]

No, it means he realises he was wrong to act that way- however, from his perspective, he was acting the way you are supposed to act to a woman- because he was taught, as a kid, that you do things like open doors for women.

To put it another way: there is a difference between being a jerk, and being ignorant. HEM126's friend was ignorant of the fact that his date didn't like his chivalry- but was not actually a jerk.

Except, by his own admission, the lady in question told him not to do it. Continuing to do something toward a person that person doesn't like simply because you were raised that way makes you a jerk, not a gentleman (because you're ignoring the lady's request), or ignorant (because you were told she doesn't want you doing it). It makes you a jerk.

If he'd stopped after being told no the first time, then it'd be no issue.

So continuing unwanted behavior after being told no and trying to justify it by saying you're raised right and they're "indoctrinated" means you're a jerk.

[Gravekeeper]

You know what? I should have mentioned this earlier, but I asked my friend why he kept trying to be "chivalrous" when she didn't like it.

He told me, "In hindsight I should I should have stopped, but I was raised to believe that women like Chivalry. It makes me wonder what is going through her mind to think that for example opening the door for her is now a bad thing to actually do."

A) As noted, your friend is still a dick.

B) I like that you're still trying to defend this by suddenly and conveniently remembering a counter-argument.

C) Is your friend you?

[HEMI6point1]

C) Is your friend you?

No. He worked with me for a little while then quit for greener pastures then moved out of state.

The big question is GK, why are you taking a blog post a little too heavy? There are plenty of things to get worked up in a lather over, and this isn't one of them....

[Andara Bledin]

No. He worked with me for a little while then quit for greener pastures then moved out of state.

The big question is GK, why are you taking a blog post a little too heavy? There are plenty of things to get worked up in a lather over, and this isn't one of them....

Actually, endemic bigotry absolutely is one of those things to get worked up over.

Only most people don't want to deal with it because, more often than not, it makes them realize rather unpleasant things about themselves, so instead they double down on it being ok to be, at the least, a selfish and insensitive jerk, and at worst, a complete and utter bigot who, in their need to show that they aren't, double down on all of the worst aspects of said bigotry.

[Ginger Tea]

Regarding empathy for why people speak up for people of other nationalities backgrounds etc. Some times it is empathising with someone and others it is being offended on someone else's behalf when those that 'should be offended' see it as no big deal.

I've been spending too much time on Tumblr in action for my own good, I have lost count of how many posts where someone has taken offence on behalf of a nation or ethnicity or sexual orientation and someone from that group has said "I don't know what you are talking about, I liked X." Granted there is no data past that one person that shows if this is the majority or minority and there are some forms of bias on that sub reddit, had there been many posts from said group agreeing, it wouldn't have made it as a thread with accompanying imgur screen grab.



Regarding 9's becoming 5's when they open their mouths, I've always assumed it was a looks only score and not a full package, though I cant ever recall using said scale myself. So a 9 with KKK affiliation and a toxic personality, would still be a 9, just not one I would want to associate with.

Yes there are 9's that have nothing else to offer as well as 5's who bring so much more, you might be shallow and not want to date said 5, but you value everything about them to develop a friendship.



I'm not one for holding doors open for the general public, I sometimes look back to see if anyone is close behind me and might hold it longer, but my general intention is "I'm going this way, if the door happens to close by the time you get to it, you have arms." basically had I not been there, they would have to open it themselves anyway.
Me opening it and someone coming towards me, well if we get into the who goes first dance, accept my offer of going first cos if not, move.



Regarding "It's the man that pays" I would rather not have my number listed as "Free Food" which someone claims happened to them once. Splitting the bill 50/50 or only pay for what you ordered should be an acceptable alternative, would I be OK with a woman paying for the whole thing? I don't know, not inclined to go dating to find out, if it was me and a woman as friends, damn right she's paying her tab and getting rounds in.

Some also say "Who initiated the date should pay." I'm not totally sold on that idea, but then again I can't recall the last time I was on a date.



I've never been too keen on the whole "care to buy me a drink" opener, you're in a pub didn't you bring any money? Though saying that, the drinks I got for women were never asked for, they normally vanished out of my hand and became an in joke, I would just shrug and go back to the bar for another, I barely spoke to her or her friend during that period, least not drunk enough to remember. It was so habitual I once ordered two pints and gave her one and walked off thinking it would save me the hassle later (I think it worked for the night) or the time I wasn't drinking and she made a b line for my table, saw a can of coke and kept on walking.

I was once in the queue of a nightclub bar and was asked by some random woman if I could get her a drink, I just took her as a bar fly and told her "if you give me the money so it will save you queuing up then yeah." The look she gave me told me all I needed to know.

I all but stopped getting rounds in for numerous reasons, I might get a friend her first drink, but once that's done she's up for the next round and if she only gets hers (unless mine is still going and I said not to bother) then I take it as my cue to only buy mine and she hers.