How dare you not appreciate my pushiness!

[Rageaholic]

I'm sure we've all dealt with people who won't take no for an answer. You tell them you don't need their help, but they keep insisting until you either end up lying to get them to leave you alone or just telling them to take their advice and shove it.

And all of a sudden, you're the bad guy. They were only trying to help and you're such an ungrateful bastard to get mad at them. Never mind that you, nicely explained to them a bazillion times that you don't need their help. Or that their 'help' might end up making things worse (or taking 3 times as long trying to explain the problem to them).

I know that logically, they are being assholes for not taking no for an answer, but these arguments are so draining that it's hard to think of a way to convey that to them. And even I did, they'd probably distort what I said to make me look like the bad guy. Which makes me want to start screaming in their face and telling them how stupid they are because hey, I'm gonna look like the bad guy either way.

[Andara Bledin]

Don't explain anything. Just say No. As many times as it takes.

And when they ask why you won't accept their help, tell them that they can help you best by not harassing you.

[Rageaholic]

Logically, this should work, but people who pull this drama queen crap aren't thinking logically which is why they are so horrible to deal with.

[s_stabeler]

I've occasionally been on the other side of things, and there is usually a reason. In my case, it's that one of my parents would ask me to help do something, then do it all themselves, then complain that I didn't do anything to help. It does mean you get a bit pushier about helping.

I'm not saying they are justified, but there are often reasons they act that way- they aren't usually doing it to be assholes.

[Hyena Dandy]

I've occasionally been on the other side of things, and there is usually a reason. In my case, it's that one of my parents would ask me to help do something, then do it all themselves, then complain that I didn't do anything to help. It does mean you get a bit pushier about helping.

Same thing happens to me. >_> Or occasionally doesn't actually ask for help, then complains about my expecting them to do it.

[Andara Bledin]

I've occasionally been on the other side of things, and there is usually a reason. In my case, it's that one of my parents would ask me to help do something, then do it all themselves, then complain that I didn't do anything to help. It does mean you get a bit pushier about helping.

My mother-in-law was like this. She'd say something needed to be done, and I'd get a time limit on when it had to be done by, and then most of the time she'd go and do it before the time had expired, acting the martyr the entire time. When she'd bitch that I didn't do it, I'd tell her flat out that she didn't let me do it. If she wanted me to do it, she'd have to leave it for me to do. If she took it on herself to do it herself, that's her own lookout.

She never got that through her head, and I took advantage of her the entire time I lived in the same house. I just can't respect someone who does something to themselves and then expects sympathy for it.

[Sarah Valentine]

I'll do you one better. Asking me to do something (empty the dishwasher and then refill it with the dishes in the sink) so I get up to do it since I'm not really doing anything anyway, only to act fucking over dramatic and say "you know what never mind I'll do it, nobody else does anything around here anyway. I'll just do it myself since I know you won't" by the time you got done asking me I was already over there. I actually had my hand on the handle when you came in from the other room insisting that I'm lazy and I won't do it, that goes for other shit too. I can't wait until I'm able to move out.

[Rageaholic]

I'll do you one better. Asking me to do something (empty the dishwasher and then refill it with the dishes in the sink) so I get up to do it since I'm not really doing anything anyway, only to act fucking over dramatic and say "you know what never mind I'll do it, nobody else does anything around here anyway. I'll just do it myself since I know you won't" by the time you got done asking me I was already over there. I actually had my hand on the handle when you came in from the other room insisting that I'm lazy and I won't do it, that goes for other shit too. I can't wait until I'm able to move out.

Oh I hate that too. They're too ashamed to ask for help so they guilt others into having them do it. Same kind of crap I bitched about in my OP. They put you in a damned if you do damned if you don't situation and somehow they're the victim.