"You're pathetic, you live with your parents!"

[MaggieTheCat]

I'll also just throw in that if you can get a part-time paying job, and your parents don't expect much or anything from you as far as rent/helping with groceries/etc go, start saving up! I did that when I was 21 or 22. I was going to school full-time, and living at home, so I got a part-time job. Eventually turned into a full-time job. Even after going full-time, I was still living at home for a while and had very few expenses. I managed to save up several thousands of dollars over the course of about 2 years and I STILL have some of that savings left now, when I'm almost 26. It's great for stuff like taking our cat to the vet at 9pm when he swallows part of a plastic bag and we need $300 to pay for an emergency vet bill.

[protege]

I lived with my parents until I was 30. But, it's not like I wasn't doing anything--I did pay rent, and had a full-time job. Living there, I was able to save up some cash, pay off the car, pay off the school loans, do some traveling, etc. But, by 30, I'd had enough. I got tired of the constant arguing and the general stupidity in that place. By then, I'd saved up enough...that I put 30% down towards a house down the street

[elsporko]

STD: Don't get me wrong, I AM looking for a job and even volunteer work if I can't get a job (I've volunteered in the past). I just don't want to feel like I have to keep up with everyone else. That would just stress me out.

I hope I didn't give the impression that I'm not even trying to do anything because I am. It's just that I'm trying to take a laid back approach to it as to not stress me out.

You probably can't get a job because you are 22 and have never had a job before.


I lived at home part time during college. I went to school in another city but lived at home expense free during the summer so I could earn enough money working so I didn't have to work while at school. The worst two months of my life were after my seasonal gig ended but before I could get a full time job. I felt like a complete sponge sitting at home all day. I did alot of job searching but I still felt bad for not being able to contribute t society.

How long is it going to take you to finish school on your part time schedule? Do you want to be that guy who graduates from college at 28, has never had a job or real life experience, and can't get a job because he is 28, never had a job, and never had a real life experience? As fun as it might be only have a couple classes to go to each week and be able to spend the rest of the time playing video games or watching porn you eventually have to realize that you are an adult and there is more to life then that.

[telecom_goddess]

Coming from the other end of this scenario....I have a daughter who's 20 and still living at home, has never had a real job, and isn't going to school. I'm sick of it. I'm afraid she's just going to waste her life away. She has zero ambition. But I have finally put my foot down and said she has to find a job..and that means looking every single day, not just when you feel like it. At this point in time it looks like she has a job at Dairy Queen. Sucky yes but it's income and I need the help paying the household bills and rent...

Oh and while she does do her own laundry she basically does almost nothing else around the house unless I specifically ask her to...and then it's little things like emptying the dishwasher. I still do the majority of the cleaning.

[the_std]

I just wanted to say here that we're not trying to put you down or say we think any less of you for the choice you're making, we're just trying to show you how much you could help yourself by choosing a different course of action.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Oh and while she does do her own laundry she basically does almost nothing else around the house unless I specifically ask her to...and then it's little things like emptying the dishwasher. I still do the majority of the cleaning.

You're much more lenient than my mother; I never would even have dreamed of refusing to do housework while I lived at home. XD

Then again, when I did move out, my mother predicted that my flat would be devastation. XD It seems I'm tidier in my own space.

[McDreidel09]

I'm going to say that I'm not trying to put you down. That is not my intention.

Life is stress,kid. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking it's not. Even the millionaires and billionaires have stress because they are running their business, though they have better access to vacations than your average bear. I'm sorry, but your parents are not doing you any favors by just letting you relax and not get a job.

As for the attitude you see, it's coming from the people who HAD to learn to be independent. We were brought up to care for ourselves, to work, and how to survive in the real world. It's the only way we know.

Personally, I wouldn't look down upon someone who lives with their parents. I don't know their situation. For all I know, it could be that the parents are having a hard time and need help. However, I don't think that someone is mature when they say "I just don't want to stress myself out", especially when they are older than myself. This is coming from the girl, who worked in high school, did homework, came home to help take care of a house and a younger sister while my mom worked to support us, ran two academic clubs, and did some sports, participated in class functions, and still managed to graduate with honors and raise a sister who is a great student and very mature for an almost 15 year old. Stress has been my companion for years.

[protege]

You're much more lenient than my mother; I never would even have dreamed of refusing to do housework while I lived at home. XD

But then there are mothers like mine. My 27 and 30-year-old brothers still live at home...and don't do shit. My mom bitches about how "nobody will help her," yet won't make them do anything. Those two losers live there, pay minimal rent...do nothing to help out...and then turn around and whine about how they hate living there Seriously, if living with them is "so bad," get a fucking job and move out!

[Rageaholic]

*sigh*

I should have known people would misinterprate what my rant was about. Okay, I'm taking college courses part time, but that's not going to last forever. It's TEMPORARY. For one, my CC will only transfer so many credits and I've reached my limit. Second, I can look for a job and have more availability if I get hired. And yes, mcdreidel, I won't get stressed out. I accept that stress is part of life and don't expect to be stress free, but I can only handle so much.

Look, I admit, life for me is pretty damn boring at times and I feel as if I should be doing more. You guys are preaching to the choir here. I would love to be able to get a job and have stories to tell. I would love to be more independant. That is my goal in life and I am working at it. But I'll be damned before I start comparing myself to others because I don't want to start stressing myself out to the point where I start hating life. Regardless of what "life" has in store for me, I can only do things at my own pace. As of now, I'm lagging behind, but that doesn't mean I'll be this way forever. Call me "selfish" or "immature" but my number one goal is to be happy, not give myself unnecessary stress.

And since you like to be so blunt elsporko, I'll be blunt back. You are exactly the type of people I was venting about in my OP. "ooh no one's going to hire me because I'm 22 and never had a job!". Or is it because I just play video games and look at porn all day? Dude, that's a bull shit stereotype and you know it. There is no rush to graduate college, especially the way the job market is. There's also no rush to get a job either. Yeah, I'm 22 and haven't had a job yet. All I can do is keeping looking (or do volunteer) and not get stressed out if I don't find one.

For those who were kind and offered advice, thank you. I'm not angry with you, I just wanted to vent about a few posts that did piss me off.

[Boozy]

Call me "selfish" or "immature" but my number one goal is to be happy, not give myself unnecessary stress.

Actually, I think that's quite sensible.

For example, I don't think you should get a job just for the sake of getting a job. Many jobs suck, and the only people who take them are those who don't have a choice. If you do have freedom of choice, you should exercise it. Find something that makes you happy, or gives you the experience you'll require to do something later on that will make you happy.

I guess what I'm saying is that you should pursue "good" stress. There's no harm in avoiding the bad.

[Rageaholic]

Actually, I think that's quite sensible.

For example, I don't think you should get a job just for the sake of getting a job. Many jobs suck, and the only people who take them are those who don't have a choice. If you do have freedom of choice, you should exercise it. Find something that makes you happy, or gives you the experience you'll require to do something later on that will make you happy.

I guess what I'm saying is that you should pursue "good" stress. There's no harm in avoiding the bad.

That's what I'm saying. Misery should not be a contest. I don't want to feel like I have to do something just to prove I can handle it. Just because other people aren't as fortunate to have freedom of choice doesn't mean I should feel bad about having that freedom. Being fortunate is a gift, not a curse.

Thanks for understanding.

[McDreidel09]

I admit, I may have been rude to you in my previous post. I didn't mean to sound like it. Just the way you worded your posts made it seem that you didn't want a job because it's too stressful. My apologies.

[elsporko]

And since you like to be so blunt elsporko, I'll be blunt back. You are exactly the type of people I was venting about in my OP. "ooh no one's going to hire me because I'm 22 and never had a job!". Or is it because I just play video games and look at porn all day? Dude, that's a bull shit stereotype and you know it. There is no rush to graduate college, especially the way the job market is. There's also no rush to get a job either. Yeah, I'm 22 and haven't had a job yet. All I can do is keeping looking (or do volunteer) and not get stressed out if I don't find one

Make sure to tell your boss about how stereotypes aren't true when he hires a 20 year old with four years of work experience over you.

[guywithashovel]

*sigh*
And since you like to be so blunt elsporko, I'll be blunt back. You are exactly the type of people I was venting about in my OP. "ooh no one's going to hire me because I'm 22 and never had a job!". Or is it because I just play video games and look at porn all day? Dude, that's a bull shit stereotype and you know it. There is no rush to graduate college, especially the way the job market is. There's also no rush to get a job either. Yeah, I'm 22 and haven't had a job yet. All I can do is keeping looking (or do volunteer) and not get stressed out if I don't find one.

I just finished grad school in August of 2008. Now, I'm sure everyone who hasn't been living under a rock knows that was a terrible time to be graduating from school. That was at the cusp of the huge financial tsunami that came crashing down on our economy. At the time, I was doing an internship, but that internship only lasted until January of 2009. After that, I was unemployed and looking for work, along with a pool of millions of other unemployed workers that kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Long story short, I was able to start doing freelance work in September of 2009, and in December of 2009, I landed the job I have now. During the time when I was unemployed, I often felt pretty bad about myself. I tried to make the most of it, and I like to think I did. I passed the time doing some volunteer work, and I helped out with my family. Point is, I know what it's like to be unemployed/underemployed and feel like people are judging you for it.

However, elsporko did raise a good point, even though his bluntness seems to have struck a nerve with you. The fact that you're 22 and never had a job might be hindering you in your job search, especially considering the fact that employers have a pretty sizable pool of applicants to choose from. My uncle has conducted quite a few job interviews for his company, and he told me that time in between jobs is often taken into consideration when hiring new people. It usually isn't a deal breaker, but it is given attention. It's important to be able to explain gaps in your employment, or in your case, why you have never been employed.

[Rageaholic]

Mcdriedel, I accept your apologies. It's easy to misinterprate things online.