MY kids don't have that!

[jackfaire]

This statement is often followed with "comic books, video games, toy guns," etc basically something that many children enjoy that most reasonable people agree will have 0 negative impact on youth but stated in a way that implies they and their kids are better than you and yours because of course they don't allow their children to touch that "thing that is bad for" (insert some nonsense reason)

[Rageaholic]

Some people just don't think kids should have any fun. When I was a kid, I had some friends who's parents would randomly decide that their kids weren't allowed to use the computer. No rhyme no reason, just because.

It's one of those stupid beliefs which needs to go the way of the dinosaurs.

[Nekojin]

Some people just don't think people should have any fun.

[anakhouri]

I do deny my son some things (he has very limited computer and TV time- right now I have put into place a video game moratorium because last time I told him it was time to shut down the laptop he threw a 10-minute screaming fit- he'll be bereft for a week or 10 days and then he gets his time back...until the next fit).

But I don't talk about his restrictions. I don't know if what I'm doing is better than any other parents' policies, it's just what I think is right for my boy. I don't care how other people raise their kids, so if their kid gets to watch TV and play video games 8 hours a day I'm not going to comment on it. And I won't get high and mighty if someone asks what my policies are; I'll just state the facts and let them make of it what they will.

[TheHuckster]

I do deny my son some things (he has very limited computer and TV time- right now I have put into place a video game moratorium because last time I told him it was time to shut down the laptop he threw a 10-minute screaming fit- he'll be bereft for a week or 10 days and then he gets his time back...until the next fit).

But I don't talk about his restrictions. I don't know if what I'm doing is better than any other parents' policies, it's just what I think is right for my boy. I don't care how other people raise their kids, so if their kid gets to watch TV and play video games 8 hours a day I'm not going to comment on it. And I won't get high and mighty if someone asks what my policies are; I'll just state the facts and let them make of it what they will.

I can't speak for the OP, but I took his post to be more about having no computer access, period. Not restricting access.

I used to have a soft curfew growing up on indoor activities such as TV and video games, especially if it was a nice day outside. And I think that had a benefit to my life to this day. Looking back, if my childhood were more devoted to indoor activities, I'd probably not have much to look back on today.

[anakhouri]

See, I think the OP's problem is really with the way people trumpet their parenting choices as if THEY are right and if you let your kid have comics/toy guns it means you are an inferior parent.

I mean, I'd sure feel sorry for kids who can't read comics, but how other parents choose to raise their children rarely impacts my life so I don't give a crap what they do. If they decide they are better than me as a parent though and crow about it, then I have a problem with them.

So OP, who's right? Or are we both right?

[bainsidhe]

Interesting how people interpret things differently. When I started reading the OP, I was thinking about people trumpeting their personal beliefs, but not necessarily their parenting style. For example, Tiger-mom wasn't the first thing that came to mind, but instead rebellion against what the media considers "the norm". I don't own a laptop, ipad, smartphone, kindle, xbox, wii or any of that stuff. I hate that the media and others seem to think you're lesser somehow if you don't have the newest (expensive!) gadget. So telling people I don't have or need any of that stuff tends to be in response to someone commenting how wonderful it is and shouldn't I buy one too.

Frankly, I get surprised when friends of mine buy new gotta-have games for the Xbox and Wii just because their kids want it. Friends who can ill afford to be spending money on such things, when they have a hard time making rent, for example. Personal choices. *shrugs*

[MrsEclipse]

I don't know if what I'm doing is better than any other parents' policies, it's just what I think is right for my boy.

That's another point that the type of parent in the OP don't quite get- that even if their parenting decision is right for THEIR child, it isn't necessarily what's best for EVERY child. Many of them make these decisions, then look down their nose at other parents who have chosen differently, even if their own parenting style would fail miserably at the other child.

People need to feel validated in their decisions. It helps us feel secure that we made the right one. Seeing someone else make a different decision can make us subconsciously fear we've made the wrong one, and we hurry to convince ourselves that that's not the case, that it's the other person who chose wrong. Rarely does our subconscious point out that maybe even though the two situations look the same, they're fundamentally different, so two different decisions were necessary. Sometimes the subconscious can be an insecure asshole. The problem comes, then, when the other person decides not to limit it to the subconscious.

[Nekojin]

Missing out on comic books, which are no longer quite the childhood social focal point that they used to be, is no big deal in my mind. But preventing a child from playing video games, which very much are a modern childhood social focal point, is essentially setting the kid up to be an outcast.

Limiting how much and how often and what games a kid can play are perfectly rational, provided that the parent isn't just following someone else's rote script. The person who best knows how a child will deal with item X is the child's parents. Unless they're absentee parents.

[agirlfromnowhere]

You know, I'm all about restricting how much time your kid spends on tv, video games, etc, but to me there's a point where it's just ridiculous.

There's this kid my mom watches whose parents don't let him do ANYTHING. No video games at home (He's allowed to play them at daycare and the Boy's and Girls club in limited amounts though) no tv, computer time only if he earns it.

His birthday is in a couple weeks and he keeps talking about how he wants a DS lite but his mom's limit is $20. I basically told him good luck because they're at least double that used.

Well, today I was at a pawn shop buying presents for my sister and I see one for $20. We call his mom and she says no, she doesn't want him to have it. Well, since he's allowed to play it at daycare we're about to go buy it to keep here.

All he's really allowed to do at home is read. He's also not allowed to read/watch Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. I really feel bad for this kid.

[TheHuckster]

There's this kid my mom watches whose parents don't let him do ANYTHING. No video games at home (He's allowed to play them at daycare and the Boy's and Girls club in limited amounts though) no tv, computer time only if he earns it.

His birthday is in a couple weeks and he keeps talking about how he wants a DS lite but his mom's limit is $20. I basically told him good luck because they're at least double that used.

Well, today I was at a pawn shop buying presents for my sister and I see one for $20. We call his mom and she says no, she doesn't want him to have it. Well, since he's allowed to play it at daycare we're about to go buy it to keep here.

All he's really allowed to do at home is read. He's also not allowed to read/watch Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. I really feel bad for this kid.

Is that for religious reasons? If so, it explains the other stuff. It sounds like his parents are over-sheltering the kid to the point he isn't expose to "the real world" much. Of course, by the time he get out into the real world he's going to have a culture shock that will greatly hinder his ability to socialize. I've seen cases like that, and they are truly sad.

[fireheart17]

Is that for religious reasons? If so, it explains the other stuff. It sounds like his parents are over-sheltering the kid to the point he isn't expose to "the real world" much. Of course, by the time he get out into the real world he's going to have a culture shock that will greatly hinder his ability to socialize. I've seen cases like that, and they are truly sad.

I'm alternately wondering if they're trying to force him to be above his peers in terms of reading/writing ability. Believe me, it takes MUCH MUCH more than that.

As far as the religious excuse goes, while I can understand Harry Potter and LOTR being "Banned", I don't understand why he can't play a DS at home but can play it at daycare....


ETA: Steiner/Waldorf schools also seem to be against electronics for young children (no problem from Year 8 onwards though ). The main issue of contention is with TV and the reasons given by schools vary. Some schools use scientific research to back up their findings, some argue about using the time for family instead or cite health risks, while some schools even go so far as to state that the Devil lives inside of computers/TV. The school I was at discouraged it, but did not explicitly forbid kids from using stuff like that or being exposed to it (so the kids in the primary school would often walk past high school kids using the laptops). Apparently one school in Queensland forbids it to the point where if they believe or notice that there is an inappropriate level of TV watching, they reserve the right to expel the child.

[Rageaholic]

Is that for religious reasons? If so, it explains the other stuff. It sounds like his parents are over-sheltering the kid to the point he isn't expose to "the real world" much. Of course, by the time he get out into the real world he's going to have a culture shock that will greatly hinder his ability to socialize. I've seen cases like that, and they are truly sad.

That wouldn't surprise me. Growning up Catholic, I've known a lot of people in church who were like that. Very restrictive, into a lot of rules. Popular fads like pokemon were not allowed because it promoted evolution!!!11.

Don't get me started.

[fireheart17]

That wouldn't surprise me. Growning up Catholic, I've known a lot of people in church who were like that. Very restrictive, into a lot of rules. Popular fads like pokemon were not allowed because it promoted evolution!!!11.

Don't get me started.

Admittedly I've heard the following being banned for fundamentalist religious reasons (because I know that not all Catholics are like that ):

Pokemon=supposedly promotes Evolution and the occult (the latter being due to the presence of the dark, ghost and psychic types!)

Yu-Gi-Oh=some of the symbols were religious based. (On that note, the anime itself is weak. as. Every episode always seemed to have a deus ex machina)

Harry Potter=few different reasons. Depending on who you talk to, it's either due to the "occult" factor, the books are supposedly teaching children how to be Wiccan (), one argument is that the books promote Satanism.

In fact, the Catholic church is somewhat mixed. The main issue is the blurring between good and evil, although this sort of appeared to drop after that. Orthodox are also mixed (Greek say no, Russian say yes), Anglicans love it and Rowling herself has also drawn links between Christian themes in her novels.

Most Judy Blume novels (the exceptions seem to be the Fudge series and most of her "younger" novels): apparently they promote either teen sex (Forever), masturbation (Deenie), puberty and religion in the same book (Are you There God, it's me Margaret), voyeurism (The analogy to the previous book but with a male main character), racism (Iggie's House) and divorce (can't remember)

[TheHuckster]

ETA: Steiner/Waldorf schools also seem to be against electronics for young children (no problem from Year 8 onwards though ). The main issue of contention is with TV and the reasons given by schools vary. Some schools use scientific research to back up their findings, some argue about using the time for family instead or cite health risks, while some schools even go so far as to state that the Devil lives inside of computers/TV. The school I was at discouraged it, but did not explicitly forbid kids from using stuff like that or being exposed to it (so the kids in the primary school would often walk past high school kids using the laptops). Apparently one school in Queensland forbids it to the point where if they believe or notice that there is an inappropriate level of TV watching, they reserve the right to expel the child.

I think that's just another variation on the trend that seems to be going on that if something is bad in excessive quantities (like salt, sugar, fat, alcohol, etc.) then it must be avoided at all costs. TV and video games are bad if you're watching at all hours of your free time especially if you are doing it in lieu of quality time with family, friends, or the outdoors. But that doesn't mean you have to ban all TV watching at all times.

That wouldn't surprise me. Growning up Catholic, I've known a lot of people in church who were like that. Very restrictive, into a lot of rules. Popular fads like pokemon were not allowed because it promoted evolution!!!11.

There was a time in my school when Pogs were banned because they thought it promoted gambling. As far as I know, pogs are to the 90s as marbles was to the 50s.